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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Finances

229 replies

Flowerflowering · 16/12/2024 18:51

Just wanted to vent a little and share my story…so, my husband and I have been struggling a lot financially. We don’t have any savings, our living costs keep increasing (our rent is super high) and our salaries are just not cutting it. After payday we’re often left with just enough for food and that often finishes very quickly so some months it can get very difficult and stressful. I sometimes rely on my mum and she often helps when she’s able to, but my husband usually finds it very difficult to ask for help. I’m not expecting him to be demanding hand-outs or something but I would just like him to use his initiative sometimes and ask close family members when we’re really struggling for basic essentials, instead of burying his head in the sand and behaving as though he’s oblivious to the fact that some days we run out of food and the fridge is almost empty. I’d also like to add that he’s got a large family and has some family members that are very well off - I’m not saying that means he should take advantage but I don’t see why he can’t ask them for help when it’s needed? We’ve got very young children as well, which causes additional stress. He’s very matter of fact and blasé about the situation and I don’t know whether this is just him being all “macho” about it and hiding his emotions as men sometimes do…but it’s started to upset me a little. I know there are options such as getting seconds jobs etc but our kids are still young and I wouldn’t want to always be out of the house and exhausted because I’m trying to make extra cash because my kids would ultimately be affected by this…but then again, even if I did, it would probably be for a short while perhaps. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed 🥲

OP posts:
Manara · 19/12/2024 06:51

Quiinkong · 18/12/2024 08:07

Maybe it's time you stopped living in an expensive house and find somewhere cheaper? Since you kept banging on about high living cost, i guessed your place might be high on rent. See what you can cut back on. Do you REALLY need sky, netflix and amazon prime? Not saying you have them but if you do, it's food for thought. Do you both drive? Is it possible to use just 1 car instead? This saves on petrol, road tax, mot and car insurance. I only earn 1.5k (it was lower than this before) a month working 30hrs a week and i live quite comfortably. Granted i live in a council house which makes this easier in terms of rent (650 including council tax) but i have never struggled to pay my bills, buy food and i have a car too. I'm not a party monster, i don't drink nor smoke, i don't have any tv/online subscriptions and i don't wear designer. Really look at your expenses and I'm sure you will find some luxury expenses there

i guessed your place might be high on rent

No shit, Sherlock.

The first few lines of her FIRST post say ‘our rent is super high’.

Quiinkong · 19/12/2024 19:41

Manara · 19/12/2024 06:51

i guessed your place might be high on rent

No shit, Sherlock.

The first few lines of her FIRST post say ‘our rent is super high’.

Alright Watson, simmer down. She said "high living cost" not high rent. Just gone back to her post. OP definitely edited her post after my comment because when i read it initially, she said high living cost. You're not a bad watson though, just not as good as sherlock.

Manara · 19/12/2024 19:54

Quiinkong · 19/12/2024 19:41

Alright Watson, simmer down. She said "high living cost" not high rent. Just gone back to her post. OP definitely edited her post after my comment because when i read it initially, she said high living cost. You're not a bad watson though, just not as good as sherlock.

Edited

No, she didn’t. Go and look at the edit history, both versions say ‘our rent is super high’.

There’s only 1 edit so shouldn’t take you long and you don’t need to be Sherlock to do it.

Quiinkong · 19/12/2024 22:40

Manara · 19/12/2024 19:54

No, she didn’t. Go and look at the edit history, both versions say ‘our rent is super high’.

There’s only 1 edit so shouldn’t take you long and you don’t need to be Sherlock to do it.

Alright Watson, you've had your day.

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