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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lasts too long in bed, get rid?

423 replies

jipor · 16/12/2024 12:22

Been on a few of dates with a colleague. Not had sex yet, was internally planning on it.

When discussing sex a few days ago, he sort of pre warned me that he lasts notoriously long. Usually not far off an hour.

I know, men say this to show off. But he said it knowing that I was soon going to find out. Plus, it was prompted by me saying that sex over an hour is too long for me.

AIBU or is that a ridiculous amount of time? I don't want to be having sex for that long?! I feel like cutting it off already, before having to endure that.

OP posts:
Frosty1000 · 16/12/2024 13:18

Maybe it's been an hour with a previous partner that hasn't really done it for him so he's not been turned on. You on the other hand could be different...... clutching at straws here 🙂

I couldn't for an hour btw.

sweetpickle2 · 16/12/2024 13:20

VegTrug · 16/12/2024 13:18

Him discussing sex only a few dates in, is a huge red flag

What???

Itdidntworkforme · 16/12/2024 13:20

jipor · 16/12/2024 12:37

He said that doesn't include foreplay.

So needs about an hour of PIV sex to finish.

How boring. So he bangs away for an hour after foreplay 🙄

Butchyrestingface · 16/12/2024 13:21

So needs about an hour of PIV sex to finish.

Depends. Would he mind if you got out a book or your phone and started browsing for Christmas shopping?

Cakencookieobsessed · 16/12/2024 13:21

This is a type of erectile dysfunction. He likely has problems getting hard and staying hard too. It all depends on if you think he's worth it or not.

WhimsicalGubbins76 · 16/12/2024 13:22

An hour PIV? Jesus wept! Imagine the abrasions! 🤣
No, no no no.

StarrySquawk · 16/12/2024 13:22

That would bore the shit out of me.

Too much wanking?

ItGhoul · 16/12/2024 13:25

jipor · 16/12/2024 12:37

He said that doesn't include foreplay.

So needs about an hour of PIV sex to finish.

Ok, that's a no from me. If it was foreplay included, great. But not just an hour of actual shagging.

turbonerd · 16/12/2024 13:27

I’m sorry but this has made me thinking Brian from Hull, and someone upthread has already mentioned tantric awfulness. So I did laugh, but must admit one hour of someone banging away sounds horrible.

But if foreplay is not included in that hour, does that mean he does not take 10 minutes off if you include oral first?
It’s Nice to Get into a rhythm and all, but ONE whole hour is too much.

I think I would warn him that I’d be done after about 15-20 minutes, and that after that he’d be on his own so to speak. If that is not his cup of tea then the pair of you needn’t bother.

Barney16 · 16/12/2024 13:27

Wouldn't that be a bit boring? I could do two loads of washing and declutter my under sink cupboard in that time.

CautiousLurker01 · 16/12/2024 13:28

Makelikeatreeandleaf · 16/12/2024 12:39

If someone was banging away on top of me for an hour I'd die of boredom.

Was going to post this! 🤣

EveryOtherNameTaken · 16/12/2024 13:28

I'd be bored shitless 🥱

pimplebum · 16/12/2024 13:29

I’d need a hell of a lot of lube !
id get bored
Was he bullshitting to impress ? Or doing he have a problem ?

LoudSnoringDog · 16/12/2024 13:29

An HOUR?????

no thanks

Upstartled · 16/12/2024 13:29

Good Lord, who's got time for that?

WrylyAmused · 16/12/2024 13:30

I think it's a weird and crass thing to say up front, and suggests that he isn't good at reading body language or negotiating sensibly once in bed, and also potentially lacking in imagination and variety to get himself closer to the edge beforehand or finish himself off in other ways if you stopped being into it, but I'm genuinely surprised by the replies on a more general level.

Do you lot not like sex?

We potentially spend hours in bed at the weekend, or if we have a free evening, not just PIV, but lots and lots of time, touch and sensuality.
Of course occasional quickies as well, but I'm very happy for the overall experience to last several hours - 10 minute sex as the norm would feel horribly transactional and "Wham bam thank you ma'am" to me...

And all this talk of "banging away" - you don't have different rhythms, positions, different speeds and sensations to explore?

Is it really so common to not want to take lots of time enjoying intimacy with someone you love?

FKAT · 16/12/2024 13:31

Could he do it from behind? That way you could get few emails sent and do an online shop?

MyPithyPoster · 16/12/2024 13:31

the only person I’ve ever come across with this issue had a massive cocaine habit

Upstartled · 16/12/2024 13:31

FKAT · 16/12/2024 13:31

Could he do it from behind? That way you could get few emails sent and do an online shop?

And that's how you get unwanted items in the basket.

Butchyrestingface · 16/12/2024 13:32

If the friction didn't kill me first, I feel like I could make this work. Have always wanted to master the Rubik's cube but sadly could never find the time to really commit. Opportunity knocketh.

FKAT · 16/12/2024 13:33

WrylyAmused · 16/12/2024 13:30

I think it's a weird and crass thing to say up front, and suggests that he isn't good at reading body language or negotiating sensibly once in bed, and also potentially lacking in imagination and variety to get himself closer to the edge beforehand or finish himself off in other ways if you stopped being into it, but I'm genuinely surprised by the replies on a more general level.

Do you lot not like sex?

We potentially spend hours in bed at the weekend, or if we have a free evening, not just PIV, but lots and lots of time, touch and sensuality.
Of course occasional quickies as well, but I'm very happy for the overall experience to last several hours - 10 minute sex as the norm would feel horribly transactional and "Wham bam thank you ma'am" to me...

And all this talk of "banging away" - you don't have different rhythms, positions, different speeds and sensations to explore?

Is it really so common to not want to take lots of time enjoying intimacy with someone you love?

There's always one of these on a sex thread. The "I am more sexually adept than you amateurs". Have a medal love, and good for you.

sweetpickle2 · 16/12/2024 13:33

FKAT · 16/12/2024 13:31

Could he do it from behind? That way you could get few emails sent and do an online shop?

Genuine LOL at this

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 16/12/2024 13:34

AnonAnonmystery · 16/12/2024 12:42

You could read a book I suppose lol

Show quote history

yeah, just get your phone out.... get some life admin done.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 16/12/2024 13:36

Barney16 · 16/12/2024 13:27

Wouldn't that be a bit boring? I could do two loads of washing and declutter my under sink cupboard in that time.

The most MN comment of the year! hahahah perfect x

turbonerd · 16/12/2024 13:37

But @WrylyAmused
OP states that he said the hour was NOT inclusive of foreplay or any other lovely activity that I would normally want to include in that hour.

Also, hours and hours of shagatons are only possible if you don’t have any kids/teenagers/other dependants around the house.
Sigh. I miss those. Loses plot of thread…