Lasts too long in bed, get rid?

[jipor]

Been on a few of dates with a colleague. Not had sex yet, was internally planning on it.

When discussing sex a few days ago, he sort of pre warned me that he lasts notoriously long. Usually not far off an hour.

I know, men say this to show off. But he said it knowing that I was soon going to find out. Plus, it was prompted by me saying that sex over an hour is too long for me.

AIBU or is that a ridiculous amount of time? I don't want to be having sex for that long?! I feel like cutting it off already, before having to endure that.

When you say "cutting it off"…

Depends whether it means he can last (up to) an hour - or struggles to orgasm!

I'm not sure why men think this is something to brag about. One hour of someone humping away at you becomes tiring pretty quickly!

I met a man who was exactly the same as your one. It sounded great in theory but in practice after about 10 minutes of piv I was done and just wanted to lay quietly. What I didn't want was 50 excruciating minutes of being pounded until I was bored rigid and so sore I couldn't walk for a week.

I think if u fancied/liked him enough then you might not be asking this question. This literally is my husband. There's no such thing as a quickie, which takes away some spontaneity, but he always makes sure I'm satisfied several times (if I let him). But saying that, my husband is so highly sexed that he is always "taking care of himself" and watching porn and so he sometimes struggles to finish himself off. Google the d3ath grip... I'm guessing this guy may have the same issue

I suggest getting a sudoku book to work on while he finishes. Jigsaws might be a bit fiddly.

Not exactly selling this to you is he.
Maybe a set of ear pods and a podcast or an iPad with a netflix film on. Something to keep your mind off it.

Could you involve another female colleague, sort of job share? 30-minute shifts?

Poor guy. He was probably thinking that would be attractive and of course it might not be true. Personally I find that nobody ever lasts very long with me.

I've only had a few guys but they all couldn't manage more than a minute or so.

Try him before you have an MN post about how long he lasts, maybe? He might really like you and it might be waay quicker.

If he's lasting longer than 14.5 minutes I want none of it. I don't want to risk my fanny looking like a cherry tomato.

I was in a relationship where it was always over an hour and I absolutely hated it. we got
married and honestly it was a big factor in the end of our marriage. I would not ever again be in a relationship with someone who lasted that long. Often I had to stop him before the end, and I felt awful about myself because I felt like it was my fault. It wasn’t good.
men always seem to think it’s a good thing and I think sometimes for women who haven’t had that kind of sex life maybe they think it’s a good thing. But for me it wasn’t at all.
i would see whether it pans out to be true or not before deciding if I were you. But if it is, yes I probably would end it if it were me unfortunately.

I used to have a partner that had a high sex drive, every session would last about 4 hours. It was exhausting, of course it's not just him laying on top for 4 hours, it's exciting and adventurous. I was in my 20's at the time though, don't think i could manage it at my age now.

Surely it depends on what you are doing. Just PIV would be awful. But if we are talking lots of foreplay and touching and massage etc.
I find first time sex with a new person weird anyway. Its getting used to that persons body and speed etc.

Red flag! He's warning you. (In the early stages of a relationship-- it may seem fine &well. But later on, you may hate the idea of even going in the bedroom with him!)
Call it quits.

We’ve got 3 kids. 1s a teenager, 1s a baby. Liking sex has nothing to do with it 😂 having time energy and space is the reason we can’t ’spend Hours in bed on a weekend’ 😂😂😂😂

and the banging away, not all men can be bothered to explore positions and rhythms. My ex certainly couldn’t. It was literally him banging away until I asked him to stop, every single time. For years.

my partner now doesn’t have that issue and can be as quick as I need him to be. When we actually can do it, aforementioned 3 kids, jobs, house etc etc means it’s pretty rare we even get the opportunity for the 10 min quickie you think is transactional 😂

At least you can change position several times...

Not necessarily...my ex "had" to be in missionary as that's the only way he could get there. 🙄 Felt like sodding carpet burn.

His claim is a bit Barry big b*llocks probably a load of old pony. Maybe reverse phycology to get you to give it a try? Maybe speak to him tell him you're give it a bash but an hour is probably to long and he needs to try speed up or it'll just be a one off.

Assuming he's telling the truth, and not doing it as a ploy for you to 'give him a try', I'd be very wary. First I think it's a bit odd that he'd disclose that about himself so early, even if you did bring it up with him. I did know someone who lasted a long time too but I think it was probably due to him having very serious mental health issues that weren't immediately obvious. How well do you know him?

If it's enjoyable, than an hour is ok, if it's not very enjoyable then five minutes is too long.

My DH is like this and it’s honestly not great. I don’t want to have someone banging away for an hour, especially if I orgasm after 10-15 mins, too much. It’s been a massive problem for us honestly.

My first husband needed forever to come. When we got together I naively thought this was a sign of amazing control, wanting to hold on to the moment, being caught up in the romance as well as the sex etc etc. Cue long nights of listening to dreamy music and long slow sex all night. It felt like he was so into me that he wanted it to go on and on. My friends were jealous, said their guys all came so quickly.

When I got a bit older and life involved more adulting it started to become annoying to have to wait for hours for him to finish up, and then later frankly off-putting (and painful). Later still I found out what his issue was, he wasn't into me at all, he was gay and had to spend ages building up a fantasy when he was with a women because it really didn't turn him on.

I'd give it a go, you can always dump him for being incompatible afterwards. Perhaps you will have better sexual chemistry than his exes and he'll finish quicker?

I wouldn't end it without giving it a go. Because it very much depends what he does with his hour.

An hour of repetitive humping - no.

An hour of imaginative multi-position multiple orgasms for me - I'm not NOT interested.

But even then, our sex life would have to include some lazy mutual masturbation sessions that were quickies. Because I don't have an hour+ for sex to regularly set aside.

Oh same ... I couldn't be doing with this !!

Totally get it, my ex took nearly that long and basically it was boring waiting for him to finish the job!