If your adult child was going through a difficult time financially, would you help them out?

[Pekitothebunny]

So if your son or daughter expressed to you that times were difficult financially atm due to something such as job loss or a big expense that they’ve suddenly had to pay for in an emergency, would you give them money to help, if you were able to? Or would you see it as their own struggle to overcome and deal with themselves now that they are an adult?

Depends what “difficult” means: getting behind with everyday bills, yes; can’t afford private school fees or to buy the children their usual extravagant Christmas presents, no.

Yes absolutely!!

I would help if I could (unless I had concerns that the financial difficulties were due to gambling, drug abuse, etc.). I would also want to ensure that the financial help was “fair” with my other child, as I would not want to cause any problems.

Yes. Your DC could end up in debt or with poor credit if they had to borrow the money and had little means to pay it back.

If the financial issue wasn't caused by something stupid they'd done and they were already working on resolving it, then yes I would likely offer some help.

If it was their fault or they were just waiting for a bail out then no, I'd let them deal with it themselves.

I would help. I don't charge my adult children rent and never will.
If I thought they were frittering money away I would hsve a polite word.

Yes, I would help, provided it was reasonable but I don't think my DC would ask unreasonably. I would go without luxuries to ensure they had basics, for example. I'd do it for any member of my family.

It depends on the circumstances.

Our children have no reason whatsoever, ever to be boracic. There would be a lot of explaining required if they ended up in that place.

My thoughts exactly.

Of course, with some caveats.

Firstly, that it wouldn't make my own financial situation tricky. And secondly, that this wasn't a pattern of behaviour. Where they repeatedly made bad decisions and expected me to help them out of it.

Seeing the stress that a beloved sister is going through right now with her son has been an eye opener. Perpetually a teenager despite being in his thirties, and she is now in financial difficulties after bailing him out multiple times.

Yes, if I could and I would think they'd do the same for me too if in a position to.

Of course I would and I have strong opinions about people who wouldn't.

I would definitely help if I could afford to.

My dad did, he would quietly pay off my overdraft at the end of each term of uni (it wasn't very big and he knew I was using it for food and rent). No big fuss and performance, id arrive home and then wake up to it being paid off the next day.

He however won't help my sister, who keeps consolidating credit card debt onto her mortgage, complaining about her roof leaking while sticking holidays on a credit card.

Of course and I do, we are a family and help each other. I know the children help each other out occasionally too. It’s mostly loans, but I know my eldest (child free and earning well) will often “treat” his younger brother (3 children and has had struggles) simple things like a bag of shopping or buys the children their winter shoes and coats freeing ds2 money for bills etc.

but yes I do help my children if they need it. My youngest was out of work for a few weeks this year, he has 2 children and his wife works part time, I picked up the shortfall financially until he was settled again.

no I’m not rolling in money, we’re retired, I could class us comfortable, helping him meant we went without the extra things in life for a bit and Christmas is a little less this year, but I wouldn’t do anything different.

i do try to work it out evenly. Like I mentioned my youngest had a lot from us this year, I know next year my daughter is hoping to buy her home, so we will help her with that and will buy my eldest 2 a few bits as he needs it. But at the end of the day they are siblings and close so I don’t believe there’s any real resentment.

It depends, one dd yes one maybe not depending on attitude and effort and so on. I mean I wouldn't help one but not the other but both already have very different attitude to money

If I could afford it ideally absolutely why not but if they don't appreciate it or are grateful for it why do it.

Yes. My parents have helped me, I will help my child.

Yes I would if I was able to,
My son (24)was recently made redundant and is relocating for a new job, likely to be an overlap in his rent contracts and we've said we will help.
Of course if we couldn't afford to then if would not be an option. So it's circumstance dependant but assuming DC are responsible adults and you have the financial means to help out of an occasional tight spot then yes.
A lot of my friends have had financial help from parents, my parents were never in a position to help me so I know what a difference support like this can make and would like to help my DC if I can.

I would if I could.

Possibly look at an interest free loan or something.

Absolutely. How far I would help them would depend on a number of factors though such as how much money I could spare and how fair it would be on their siblings etc. Also the nature of the problem - was it caused by recklessness such as drug use or gambling, or by sheer bad luck etc.

I do expect my DC to make responsible decisions. Not have DC they can't afford or not spending money they dont have on clothes or shoes or Botox. I encouraged them towards high earning professions ( One listened. One didnt)

My parents have never helped me financially because I didnt need it. They would have if I did.

This would be the crux of the matter for me. I would expect an adult to help themselves first and foremost, not just coming running to mum with their hand out.

Yes
my son works hard own his house with his partner and they do have a good life - no kids -no debt decent income

but it’s things like he needed to get his teeth checked and needed a filling so I paid for that £300

I’ve gave them a fair amount of cash and paid for big ticket items when they moved into there house this summer so they aren’t in debt

when they go away for weekends I often give my son £100

when he services / MOT his car I often give him half of the cost

I don’t mind - I can afford it and I only have the one child so easy to treat him

Everyone here seems to think "help out" means "pay up". My sibling got into problematic debt. My parents were getting ready to use the money saved in case of an endowment shortfall to bail them out. They also went through my siblings money with them and figured out there was more going out each month than coming in, mainly debt repayments. My parents went with my sibling to the CAB for advice and the advice was to declare bankruptcy. Not to risk their own money on a adult who was very bad at managing money.
I'm not it seeing how our parents didn't help out. They spent ages with sibling at home getting everything in order, supported through court. Help out doesn't always have to mean bail out.
The happy ending is that sibling is now in a much happier place with a lovely spouse who is very good with money and budgeting.

I absolutely would help if I could. I'd expect them to be doing what they could to improve the situation as well, but I would help as much as I could.

The only circumstance I wouldn't help in is if it was entirely their own fault and the consequences weren't dire or long lasting. If they spent all their money on irresponsible things and had to eat cheap food to get to the end of the month, I wouldn't necessarily step in. If their home was at risk, they couldn't afford basics at all or they'd be living in poverty long term, I'd still step in.