If your adult child was going through a difficult time financially, would you help them out?

[Pekitothebunny]

So if your son or daughter expressed to you that times were difficult financially atm due to something such as job loss or a big expense that they’ve suddenly had to pay for in an emergency, would you give them money to help, if you were able to? Or would you see it as their own struggle to overcome and deal with themselves now that they are an adult?

I couldn't afford to, so no. I'm single earning £29k I don't have much spare money for myself let alone anyone else.

Eh. Where does it say the OP and her partner are bringing a child into the world?

We share our finances. We don’t have separate bank accounts, it all goes into one. I get £1,600 a month and the majority of that goes on bills. Then DP gets paid weekly and we use his wage for the remaining bills, savings and money to live off like food and petrol and things. DP works his ass off 7 days a week doing overtime at the weekends, and every penny he earns is shared.

Fortunately, it’s none of your business even if OP had even mentioned having a child - which she hasn’t.

Yes, of course I would. I can’t understand parents who could afford to help, but don’t or won’t.

Yes if I was able to.

She is not considering a baby now. She is worried about future fertility being affected because of endo.

I only read a half of your updates up to £200 info but it’s enough.
Your dad is a big twat. Yes, money is his he is entitled to them but he is also selfish cold hearted mean twat, sorry.

I would give him his £200 back straight away, otherwise he would harass you for the end of your life saying that you owe him this and that. I don’t think that you should go no contact with him but as he doesn’t behave as loving and supportive parent you are free from obligation to behave as loving and supportive daughter.
And I wouldn’t meet him for drinks anymore at all, I would say that I’m saving.

I never said it was dire though. I think we do fine.. we don’t have a lot of spare income but it’s not dire. We have enough to own a home, car, pay the bills, put a bit away each month for savings, go to the cinema or meals etc now and again. The examples that I gave and the question that I asked was not whether people would fund their children’s lives. I was asking if people would help out in a situation where their DC were going through a hard time as a one off.

I have not once ever insinuated in this thread that I would ever want or expect my dad to give me money for basic things. There have just been two instances in my adult life where something has unfortunately happened where we didn’t have the money to cover it. One of those things ended up fine in the end, we paid the debt off relatively quickly. And the other time (now) we are saving up for. I don’t know why this means our situation is dire? Sometimes things like this happen in life, people come across hard times or a big expense. This isn’t unusual or abnormal. We pay for everything ourselves, aren’t in any debt, and have savings.

Kids have absolutely nothing to do with it. Something I hate about this site is you could post ANYTHING at all and someone will take one little comment that you said and make the whole thing about that. This has NOTHING to do with children. I mentioned the infertility thing because I explained that I had a conversation with my dad explaining what endo is and what the potential consequences are. I never said I want children right now. The question is very very simple. If you are a parent, would you help your adult children out if they suddenly find themsleves in a financially difficult situation? That’s the question. Stop making it about other things

Because I have a relationship with my family and we talk about things including our lives, hopes, dreams, struggles, what’s going on currently etc…

Thanks for the advice…. I am doing that! I haven’t asked for advice on my current situation. Can I ask what is wrong with you?? You’re a strange person.

I know 😔 for my car I only had third party insurance. But I paid for the new car myself, I wouldn’t have expected anyone else to help me with that as it was my own fault

First off, I do help my children a lot, so I'm not against it.

Someone in the situation you describe here doesn't need help though. We all meet big or unexpected expenses, or go through hard times. Part of being adult is working it out and not expecting someone else to bail you out or pick it up for you, even if it's hard for a period of time. That's how we've lived our own adult lives anyway.

Of course I would and do help my children significantly, but it's not my place to stop them adulting in normal ways. I help my children due to some exceptional circumstances.