If your adult child was going through a difficult time financially, would you help them out?

[Pekitothebunny]

So if your son or daughter expressed to you that times were difficult financially atm due to something such as job loss or a big expense that they’ve suddenly had to pay for in an emergency, would you give them money to help, if you were able to? Or would you see it as their own struggle to overcome and deal with themselves now that they are an adult?

Yes, without a second's thought.

It depends on the circumstances but assuming I could help and they weren't in that position because they'd been am asshole then I'd help

One of the reasons why I chose to help my son out when his marriage ended and he lost his job in the US are complicated and would take too long to explain. I went through some very difficult times when I was a SAHM to three children under the age of 5 in the 1980s when mortgage rates went up to 18% and we almost lost our house. I did as much as I could to help ( did a paper round pushing my toddlers with me, addressed enveloped for advertising companies and ran a small party planning business) but we were very grateful for help from our parents - my mum would drive 120 miles to visit and take me shopping to pay for a trolly load of food, my MIL volunteered at a charity shop and bought us children coats and clothes.

Now it’s my turn to pass it on to my children! My two children living in this country do not need my help as such, they have well paid jobs and enjoy a good life style but I enjoy giving them £2000 for their birthdays and Christmas from my surplus income ( within IHT laws!) so they can save or spend on extras. I worked hard once I returned to work, moving from a part time basic rate teacher to a full time Vice Principle and Local Authority Advisor on SEND issues. I paid off my mortgage, saved hard then took early retirement to care for my Mum with Alzheimer’s - no, I don’t want a medal, I loved her and wanted her to maintain her life at home as long as possible.

Keeping mum at home meant she did not need to sell her house or use up all her investments so me and my siblings ( who shared the caring role) inherited a decent amount. This is what I use to treat my children, continuing the loving support my mum have to her grandchildren. But if they needed more than the gifts I currently give them, I would not hesitate to try to find a way to help them by cashing in some of my investments or even by downsizing my house - I know that I could not sit here in comfort and watch them struggle with ill health or a financial crisis.

Can everyone do this? No, but I’m sure a lot of people would do what they could for the people they love.