In laws have told us they are staying over on Christmas

[Sesame2011]

This year for Christmas, my wife and I are hosting her parents for dinner. We last spent Christmas day with them in 2021 (in 22 we spent it with my family and in 23 we were away on holiday over Christmas and new year).

I thought this year would be like last time, in laws would come over around lunchtime, we would do presents and eat and maybe play a couple games and they would leave early evening.

This year, last week, MIL has told us they are going to stay over at ours on Christmas night. We did not invite them to stay, they did not ask us. They told us.

They live a 15 min drive away and we assume they have decided this because they want to drink. (They are big social drinkers, we are not). As I'm pregnant, I told my wife I could drive them home. In laws do not know I'm pregnant but will find out on Christmas day. They know I'm not much of a drinker anyway. We saw them again today and my wife confirmed that I wouldn't be drinking and could drive them home. MIL refused and said that they would stay.

It really bothers me they haven't asked. It never came up in any prior discussions about Christmas day, it only came up last week when my wife met her mum for lunch.

AIBU that I want them to at least ask if they can stay at ours and not just assume?

Tell them you've got rid of the bed in the spare room...

So you’re going to let them stay?! I’d really really reconsider this because they will know they can railroad you.

‘Sorry it doesn’t work for you to stay over this time but X will drop you home’

I agree with this^ about not accepting that your children grown up. I would see it as a red flag definitely and I would nip it in the bud before baby arrived.
Your wife should deal with this herself, without involving you. Simple - we have plans for the next day so it’s not convenient - should be enough. I wouldn’t dwell on how they asked to avoid distraction.

They want to stay overnight 15 mins away they would be there a week if they live an hour away!

I'd be deeply pissed off about them just stating they were staying without actually asking too.

This

Congrats on your pregnancy!
As others have said, tell them that your hotel is closed for the season.
Order them a taxi. Put them in it. Or rather get your wife to stand up to her parents.

I get that you are annoyed they didn’t ask but why can’t they stay?

I think your wife needs to step in here and say oh actually we're happy to host for dinner etc but we're both exhausted and not up to hosting overnight. Sesame will drive you home so you can still have a drink.

@Sesame2011 15 minutes away??? they can bugger off!!! just tell them they are not staying. they can get a lift or they can walk!!

Are you not grown ups ?? The pair of you need to give your heads a massive shake

You can’t say no to pushy parents ? good luck with that and a toddler which you’ll soon have and you will both have to say no to your baby all day every day good practise with the in laws I’d say 👍

@Sesame2011 nah they can open the bedroom doors!! take all the bedlinen off the bed and out of the airing cupboard and hide it all in the attic!!

Oh bless you!

They’re very rude. I’m the granny/Mil in the family and no way would I ever invite myself to either DD’s home. I stay when I’m invited which I think is way more normal than just saying “ we’re staying”

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Get your nursery ready so you have no spare beds, not even a blow up ☺️

😬

Continuing on from the brilliant Nursery idea just make a right and deliberate mess of the bedroom where they might have stayed, leave a ladder in the way, pots of paint, noxious smells of paint, turps etc. Stuff all over the bed and sy youre changing things in readiness for the new arrival. Lovely surprise !!!!! Im on your side. Used to have inlaws who never used to go home and invited themselves in a similar way. It was also very expensive when we couldnt afford to entertain them.

@Sesame2011 if mil insists they are staying then just tell them you are rescinding their invitation!!

If you’re going to let them do this, I would not serve any alcohol at all, except for what they bring themselves. They won’t be so keen another time.

They are probably just thinking it would be nice to spend the evening with you and not have to go out in the cold at the end of the day. They should have asked but as close family they obviously felt they would be welcome.
It seems they were wrong.

😲

15 minutes!!!!

It's not just the stopping over. Your wife will be running around taking care of them. I'd hate people to stay over.

Really? Confused 😆
Are you ok 🙃

Indeed. To be fair you just have to laugh and it’s funny 🤣

OP just one word ‘taxi’ - if they are 15 mins away they can go home. Most people want that.

"If they had asked we would have most likely said yes anyway. Even though I would have preferred they left, it's not a big deal. It's just the way they have told us."

If this is true then you are being ridiculous. Don't create conflict over something so small. Put down your sword and welcome them into your home. They are your wife's parents, your baby's grandparents.
If you would have said yes, be gracious and let them stay. My own family and my in laws have open invitation to our home, we want a happy family environment.

21st century