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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He left me in city centre…

881 replies

Craics90 · 15/12/2024 02:32

Went in to City Centre today for DH’s birthday. A few of his friends had also arranged to go in today. I asked if he’d prefer to go out with said friends and he repeatedly said no.

Queue 4pm when he began acting like a total arse to me. We went to the usual Christmas market, had some food, waded our way through the crowds to get anywhere and went on a bar crawl.

He’s useless with directions so I usually guide us between bars etc. I asked him multiple times where he wanted to go next and he kept saying that he didn’t mind.

Went to his favourite bar, queued for 40 mins to get inside, got one drink. Whilst standing basically the toilet door, people slamming in to us spilling drink down my back I asked if he wanted to maybe go somewhere more local where we could actually get to the bar and have a dance?

He stormed out of the bar rambling on that I should have stayed at home, even though I spent weeks planning the night and booking in to his favourite restaurant which he made me cancel last night costing me 80£ for late cancellation!

I tried calling him and he told me to F off and said he didn’t care how I got home because I’m not his problem. Therefore, leaving me stranded in the city. Every taxi I stopped was booked and I had to call my elderly dad to come and get me. I felt like such a dick.

Obviously DH had this planned so he could go off and meet friends instead of just saying in the first place. I am so hurt.

He has just came home bashing the door with three others trying to get in and I haven’t opened it. First of all I was asleep and they woke me with the banging, but second of all - bringing people back here when he knows I would be in bed?

AIBU for not opening the door?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Doggymummar · 15/12/2024 08:25

How disappointing. I was in a relationship like this, it really doesn't get any better. You need to split up.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 15/12/2024 08:25

I don't think you should be married to someone like that.

thepariscrimefiles · 15/12/2024 08:25

What a horrible man he is. Please make plans to separate.

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 08:26

FitAt50 · 15/12/2024 08:01

Did you purposely lock him out or did he forget his key? Disappointed in the number of people saying leave him outside at 2am in the middle of winter.

Yeah, no. He behaved appallingly and left her alone in the city centre with no means of getting home - even telling her he didn’t care and she wasn’t his problem. It seems he planned this strop to get out of spending his birthday with his wife, and go on the piss with his mates instead. So if he can’t get back into the house now - for whatever reason - that’s on him. I wouldn’t be opening the door to him and three drunk mates at 2am. Two choices - go to one of the mates’ houses to carry on drinking, or keep banging on the door and spend the night in the cells when either myself or one of the neighbours call the police. And in the morning, marriage over.

Everintroverte · 15/12/2024 08:26

Why couldn't he get in? Did he go out without his key?
Regardless, I think he should have stayed outside. If he was ridiculous enough to leave you in the city centre and not care about how you got home or your safety why should you care about his?
He sounds like a selfish prick.

ClarasSisters · 15/12/2024 08:27

@stayathomegardener and @MarnieRey thanks, hadn't realised. Not an issue I've had but tend to Uber/pre-book.

YourTurnForTheTree · 15/12/2024 08:28

Tiredallthetimeneedsleep · 15/12/2024 08:23

OMG! Reported this to hopefully remove asap. Apologies OP, thought I'd started my own ( facepalm)

Don’t worry. When people are new to MN, it’s not that easy to see how to start your own thread!

whiskeytangofox · 15/12/2024 08:33

FitAt50 · 15/12/2024 08:01

Did you purposely lock him out or did he forget his key? Disappointed in the number of people saying leave him outside at 2am in the middle of winter.

Seriously? Where’s your bloody common sense woman!?

He brought drunk blokes back to OP’s home in the early hours. That is completely unacceptable behaviour. He’s treated the OP very badly as he deliberately ruined her night and was unnecessarily vile towards her.

I just hope her parents support her to divorce him as he’s clearly a selfish prick.

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 08:39

Tiredallthetimeneedsleep · 15/12/2024 08:23

OMG! Reported this to hopefully remove asap. Apologies OP, thought I'd started my own ( facepalm)

Don’t worry, happens a lot when people are new to MN. Incidentally l have no advice as to what your medical condition could be, but as a suggestion, try not using soap based products for a while. I switched to products from the Diprobase and Doublebase ranges after a similar problem, and it cleared up. Both ranges are on Amazon if it helps. Hope you get sorted.

OdeToBarney · 15/12/2024 08:40

ClarasSisters · 15/12/2024 08:08

I find it difficult to believe in a city centre you couldn't get a taxi. I think you rang your dad so you could tell him what a shit dh was and how badly he'd treated you.

Had you bolted the door? Or had he forgotten/lost his keys? How long did your neighbours have to listen to him banging for?

I do understand you're pissed off (understatement). He wouldn't get an opportunity to treat me like that again.

It's was Saturday night, 10 days before Christmas. I couldn't get a taxi at 3pm on Friday afternoon this week because it was so busy!

SaagAloopa · 15/12/2024 08:40

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 08:18

Start your own thread. This is the OP’s and not appropriate to post as you did.

No need to be arsey about it

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 08:45

betterangels · 15/12/2024 08:07

He can go stay with the mates. Not OP's problem.

Yep. What was it he said to OP when he left her stranded as he stropped off to join his mates ? ‘l don’t care, you’re not my problem’. Karma came around in record time. And it’s a bitch !!

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 08:46

SaagAloopa · 15/12/2024 08:40

No need to be arsey about it

Edited

I wasn’t intending to be arsey - as you’d have seen in my follow up to this poster. Apologies if it looked that way.

Longma · 15/12/2024 08:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Toopulululu · 15/12/2024 08:51

Can you imagine being the dad in this situation, knowing your daughter had married an absolute tool. Think really carefully about the future.

TokyoSushi · 15/12/2024 08:56

This person is your husband? Good grief, please make plans to leave this man, you deserve so much better.

LIVVI1234 · 15/12/2024 09:08

Would he have even known for sure you were home when he was banging on the door. You could have still been out stranded for all he knew. Has he even attempted to call and check on you?

Bumblebeestiltskin · 15/12/2024 09:09

I hope you're OK, OP, and you didn't let him in.

Wolframandhart · 15/12/2024 09:11

TokyoSushi · 15/12/2024 08:56

This person is your husband? Good grief, please make plans to leave this man, you deserve so much better.

This. His behaviour was planned and appalling. Do not tie yourself to him more. Plan to leave.

RockOrAHardplace · 15/12/2024 09:14

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

If you want to create your own post, do so but don't hijack someone elses please!

betterangels · 15/12/2024 09:15

RockOrAHardplace · 15/12/2024 09:14

If you want to create your own post, do so but don't hijack someone elses please!

If you'd read a bit further, you'd know PP already apologised.

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 09:19

RockOrAHardplace · 15/12/2024 09:14

If you want to create your own post, do so but don't hijack someone elses please!

the poster has already apologised and asked for it to be removed.

Bestfootforward11 · 15/12/2024 09:20

Awful. Just awful. He sounds like a thug not someone who is supposed to love and respect you. Who knows why he acts like this. But it’s not your fault and not your problem. I think you know what you need to do and it’s a question of building confidence to do it and practical planning. I’m sorry you were treated this way, you don’t deserve it.

EdithBond · 15/12/2024 09:22

It’s unreasonable to not open the door to someone who’s forgotten their key and is locked out.

It’s not unreasonable to say you don’t want guests in your home at 2am.

It’s very unreasonable for your DH to storm off and leave you stuck in town alone, having sworn at you. Did he check if you got home safely?

It’s unreasonable to renege on a dinner date at the last moment when it incurs such a large cancellation fee. He should give you the money.

It sounds like your DH has an alcohol problem or does he behave like this when not drinking too?

Octoberdreaming · 15/12/2024 09:23

YANBU but your relationship sounds very strained.
I would call it a day.