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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He left me in city centre…

881 replies

Craics90 · 15/12/2024 02:32

Went in to City Centre today for DH’s birthday. A few of his friends had also arranged to go in today. I asked if he’d prefer to go out with said friends and he repeatedly said no.

Queue 4pm when he began acting like a total arse to me. We went to the usual Christmas market, had some food, waded our way through the crowds to get anywhere and went on a bar crawl.

He’s useless with directions so I usually guide us between bars etc. I asked him multiple times where he wanted to go next and he kept saying that he didn’t mind.

Went to his favourite bar, queued for 40 mins to get inside, got one drink. Whilst standing basically the toilet door, people slamming in to us spilling drink down my back I asked if he wanted to maybe go somewhere more local where we could actually get to the bar and have a dance?

He stormed out of the bar rambling on that I should have stayed at home, even though I spent weeks planning the night and booking in to his favourite restaurant which he made me cancel last night costing me 80£ for late cancellation!

I tried calling him and he told me to F off and said he didn’t care how I got home because I’m not his problem. Therefore, leaving me stranded in the city. Every taxi I stopped was booked and I had to call my elderly dad to come and get me. I felt like such a dick.

Obviously DH had this planned so he could go off and meet friends instead of just saying in the first place. I am so hurt.

He has just came home bashing the door with three others trying to get in and I haven’t opened it. First of all I was asleep and they woke me with the banging, but second of all - bringing people back here when he knows I would be in bed?

AIBU for not opening the door?

OP posts:
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5
Imbusytodaysorry · 15/12/2024 08:05

FitAt50 · 15/12/2024 08:01

Did you purposely lock him out or did he forget his key? Disappointed in the number of people saying leave him outside at 2am in the middle of winter.

He has three mates with him ! I am sure they have homes? They can go party at one of their homes

betterangels · 15/12/2024 08:05

"I don't care" and "you're not my problem" is more than enough reason to start planning how to leave. And he would be paying the 80 quid. Fuck him. Absolute drip of a man.

He's telling you he doesn't give a shit. Please listen.

JWhipple · 15/12/2024 08:06

Guavafish1 · 15/12/2024 06:38

Open the door… it’s his birthday. It’s wrong to have the door closed.

he is totally wrong for inviting you for birthday drinks out when he really wanted to go out with friends.

Your relationship doesn’t sound healthy and there is bad communication going on between you both.

Ah yes. His birthday. So he can come in and continue to abuse OP with his mates there.

Because that's what birthdays are all about.

betterangels · 15/12/2024 08:07

FitAt50 · 15/12/2024 08:01

Did you purposely lock him out or did he forget his key? Disappointed in the number of people saying leave him outside at 2am in the middle of winter.

He can go stay with the mates. Not OP's problem.

ClarasSisters · 15/12/2024 08:08

I find it difficult to believe in a city centre you couldn't get a taxi. I think you rang your dad so you could tell him what a shit dh was and how badly he'd treated you.

Had you bolted the door? Or had he forgotten/lost his keys? How long did your neighbours have to listen to him banging for?

I do understand you're pissed off (understatement). He wouldn't get an opportunity to treat me like that again.

MyDeftDuck · 15/12/2024 08:08

Under the same circumstances if I had called my Dad to pick me up I wold have asked him to take me to his home and I would NOT go back to mine.
How can the OP's welfare not be her husbands problem - what as arsehole of a man.

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 15/12/2024 08:10

Nasty bastard

HardenYourHeart · 15/12/2024 08:12

I hope you called the police. Or perhaps the neighbours did, being as loud as he was.

You deserve better, OP.

Tiredallthetimeneedsleep · 15/12/2024 08:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

TherapyFrog · 15/12/2024 08:13

He sounds awful.

Is this something he's done before - creating an incident so that he feels justified in doing what he wants.

He left you alone, wasn't concerned about your welfare and how you got home, and then has tried to bring some friends (who presumably you don't know that well?) home for whatever mad reason.

What's the backstory with this? I have a feeling this isn't the first time he's behaved similarly?

stayathomegardener · 15/12/2024 08:13

ClarasSisters · 15/12/2024 08:08

I find it difficult to believe in a city centre you couldn't get a taxi. I think you rang your dad so you could tell him what a shit dh was and how badly he'd treated you.

Had you bolted the door? Or had he forgotten/lost his keys? How long did your neighbours have to listen to him banging for?

I do understand you're pissed off (understatement). He wouldn't get an opportunity to treat me like that again.

Taxi's unless pre booked are almost impossible in city's near me.
Make 2025 a great start and put the wheels in place to leave your H.

Humphreyshead · 15/12/2024 08:13

Honestlyhonee · 15/12/2024 07:45

@Teacherprebaby @Craics90 omfg why did you quote the op’s post in full

I thought this too! I found it so annoying!

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 08:16

Guavafish1 · 15/12/2024 06:38

Open the door… it’s his birthday. It’s wrong to have the door closed.

he is totally wrong for inviting you for birthday drinks out when he really wanted to go out with friends.

Your relationship doesn’t sound healthy and there is bad communication going on between you both.

Open the door… it’s his birthday. It’s wrong to have the door closed.

i can’t actually believe l’m reading this. What on earth has his birthday got to do with anything ? He assured her he wanted to spend it with her, when he actually wanted to be with his mates, and then deliberately caused a row so he could do exactly that. He ruined the night she planned, cost her £80 for the restaurant booking, left her alone with no way to get home, and now the weasel is banging the door down with three of his mates because they want to carry on the piss up in OP’s home. They wouldn’t get over the doorstep, if the banging continued l’d be calling the police, and in the morning the marriage would be over.

MarnieRey · 15/12/2024 08:17

ClarasSisters · 15/12/2024 08:08

I find it difficult to believe in a city centre you couldn't get a taxi. I think you rang your dad so you could tell him what a shit dh was and how badly he'd treated you.

Had you bolted the door? Or had he forgotten/lost his keys? How long did your neighbours have to listen to him banging for?

I do understand you're pissed off (understatement). He wouldn't get an opportunity to treat me like that again.

My city has a shortage of taxis ever since Covid, since December hit you can't get one after about 2pm on a Thursday Friday or Saturday. It's actually becoming a political issue here as it's killing the nightlife and the hospitality sector is up in arms.

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 08:18

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Start your own thread. This is the OP’s and not appropriate to post as you did.

TwinklyAmberOrca · 15/12/2024 08:19

@Craics90 I suggest you put an end to this unhealthy relationship. He clearly doesn't respect you.

paisley256 · 15/12/2024 08:19

Hope you're ok op.

Shoxfordian · 15/12/2024 08:20

Yanbu at all
His behaviour is completely unacceptable. Give him a divorce for christmas

MsNik · 15/12/2024 08:20

The fact he left you stranded is bad enough. Coming home with 3 friends, drunk and banging on the door when he knows you're already going to be upset, is the nail in the coffin.
Don't put up with this OP

Your dad, however, sounds fab. I wish my dad would help me if needed. Sadly not, because he'd be the drunk guy in my story.

Codlingmoths · 15/12/2024 08:22

im relieved you had the boundaries to not open the door to them. Is this the last straw for the relationship op? It sounds like it should be and you should pack him a bag and say happy fucking birthday, I lost £80 on that reservation last night and realised you aren’t worth a single one of them.

Tiredallthetimeneedsleep · 15/12/2024 08:23

Rosscameasdoody · 15/12/2024 08:18

Start your own thread. This is the OP’s and not appropriate to post as you did.

Show quote history

OMG! Reported this to hopefully remove asap. Apologies OP, thought I'd started my own ( facepalm)

NunyaBeeswax · 15/12/2024 08:23

Another woman with a cunt of partner.

You need to make preparations to drop this W-Anchor back into the sea and sail off without that weight around your neck.

Do not let this slide.
This is not how decent people behave.

Porcuporpoise · 15/12/2024 08:24

YABU to waste any more of your life on this awful man.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/12/2024 08:24

He’s a cunt. He has no respect or care for you.

Suzuki76 · 15/12/2024 08:25

I know you say DH so I assume you're at least in your 20s but this is what cowardly 17 year old boys do to get you to break up with them (so they can play the victim). Give him what he wants and tell him to fuck off.