He left me in city centre…

[Craics90]

Went in to City Centre today for DH’s birthday. A few of his friends had also arranged to go in today. I asked if he’d prefer to go out with said friends and he repeatedly said no.

Queue 4pm when he began acting like a total arse to me. We went to the usual Christmas market, had some food, waded our way through the crowds to get anywhere and went on a bar crawl.

He’s useless with directions so I usually guide us between bars etc. I asked him multiple times where he wanted to go next and he kept saying that he didn’t mind.

Went to his favourite bar, queued for 40 mins to get inside, got one drink. Whilst standing basically the toilet door, people slamming in to us spilling drink down my back I asked if he wanted to maybe go somewhere more local where we could actually get to the bar and have a dance?

He stormed out of the bar rambling on that I should have stayed at home, even though I spent weeks planning the night and booking in to his favourite restaurant which he made me cancel last night costing me 80£ for late cancellation!

I tried calling him and he told me to F off and said he didn’t care how I got home because I’m not his problem. Therefore, leaving me stranded in the city. Every taxi I stopped was booked and I had to call my elderly dad to come and get me. I felt like such a dick.

Obviously DH had this planned so he could go off and meet friends instead of just saying in the first place. I am so hurt.

He has just came home bashing the door with three others trying to get in and I haven’t opened it. First of all I was asleep and they woke me with the banging, but second of all - bringing people back here when he knows I would be in bed?

AIBU for not opening the door?

Yes, you do. This is an abusive relationship and you need to walk away without looking back. You deserve so much more, and he deserves nothing. Best of luck! xx

You don't have to answer if you don't want to for anonymity purposes... but are you in Dublin because I felt a lot of what you said sounded more Belfast? Or maybe we're just all alike! Talking about yer da, and ye, and yous, and the craics90 is all very Belfast, and going into the city centre lol!!

I had to double check that this man is your husband OP and not some random guy you just met... because that's sure as hell what it sounded like!

This is not how a real man treats a woman. You need to have a serious conversation about your future.

All very Dub I can assure you, I'm not a Dub (proud Lily White but spent far too long socialising in Dublin when younger, Clondalkin early in the evenings, city centre later on or Tallaght if we left it too late for the city) and that's exactly what I remember the chat being like. I think across the country we're more alike than we realise. Was looking for a Christmas card for my father today, not one that said Da, I've never called him Dad so didn't want that on a card, it was Daddy up to about age 11 and then Da, I'm in my 50's now and he's still Da (and the absolute best in the world) Also I absolutely understand the op calling hers for a lift, I was working, living with my ds and in my late 20's and my Da insisted on driving from north Kildare to Grafton St to collect me and some colleagues from a Christmas work party in thecearly hours because we'd never get a taxi willing to take us home, he poured us into his car and laughed all the way home, Irish Da's are a breed all of their own. He's 80 now and my son lives with him, my dh and I are spending Christmas with them and the arguments about cooking will be hilarious.

I mean, that last sentence is utterly vile to come from anyone let alone your actual husband! I know what you 'deserve': someone better!

Stay strong OP, you’ve got a lovely family by the sounds of it, and some good friends. You need support when going through this.

As for gobshite ex, no amount of sweet talking, threats, drama or stupid stunts is worth entertaining.

He’s been smacked down to earth with a bump, I’m wondering what Jack the lads next move is? It’s like some men have to the last word, like a point scoring system. Well my ex did, and even though I just wanted to give him a good kick between the legs, I had to find the strength to say nothing.

I've always felt that those of us in NI, even if some of us identify more as British than others, have more in common with our ROI counterparts than we do with anyone in the rest of the UK!

I used to have online friends on Rollercoaster and we had so much craic! I've spent many holidays in RoI, and some of my dearest friends when I worked in London many years ago were also from RoI. We had way more in common!

You are strong, you are clever, you are definitely very witty & you don’t need this blaggard! Wishing you lots of love & strength, you CAN do this & I wish you the best and luck. Stay strong my lovely. Xxx

From NI also; I went to uni in Liverpool and it was like being at home. Glasgow another that was very similar to home. By and large though I think we have a lot in common throughout the UK and Ireland as culturally we are very alike. This really becomes apparent when you travel outside these islands.

And yes OP Irish Da's are a breed all of their own. I still call mine daddy though!

Regards that gobshite ex of yours (assuming ex) you've handled things so well. More power to you girl.

Oh it was @Mudflaps with the quote about Irish da's not OP.

Personally I've always thought the Northern Irish and Scottish to be more alike than the Northern Irish and Irish. There is a lot of "Britishness" in the Northern Irish that just isn't present in the rest of Ireland. NI is a bit of a hybrid really. Irish and British (in a Scottish way, not in an English way). It's the shared celtic heritage.

OP - you mentioned you bought a static caravan. Sell it now, then use it as a big deposit on a rental or give the money to your parents to mind. It's yours you paid for it . And now you've sold it.
That's the first thing I'd do ( and just between us I might give a little discount for cash).
Then start a list on your computer of every cent you have put into the house. It really shouldn't be necessary as you are married but better safe than sorry.
Don't put him on ignore on our phone but do record them all.

Goos luck

Good even! 😂

@Craics90 Oh my goodness I just read all your posts (I ignored the others telling you off etc) and I feel like I''ve just been through the wringer. But I haven't, not at all, while you have indeed. And I wanted to tell you how much I admire your strength and clear-headedness in the midst of so much madness. Your babies are tiny, they won't remember this / him / any of it. That is brilliant. They are untarnished by the mess he is making. I hope you can keep it that way.

I don't know you and I don't like hugging many people, but I'll send you a huge one.

Seems like ex has found your thread and is posting vicious bile. Or some other idiots...

said to him this morning, you know how I feel about the city and being alone. Anything could happen to anyone and you could have told me you wanted to go on and waited until I got a lift out of the way. Instead you left me to it. And hid reply was “nothing happened to you. You got what you deserved, and if something did happen then you would have also gotten what you deserved”

That last sentence gave me chills. Please get far away from this turd.

I can’t edit my previous post but I’ve now read all of yours. You sound lovely and I’m so glad you are rid of him and have great friends and family around you. Wishing you a merry Christmas and a git free new year

Ignore this absolute shite you’re getting from some posters @Craics90

You’re a legend and you’ll be just fine and so will your kids.

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas away from this dick head. January is a time of renewal so perfect for mapping out your new happy, fantastic life.

x

I hope to Jesus you girls never find yourselves in a situation of being in bed and having strange drunk and drugged up men in your home.
Remember that not everyone posting is who they say they are. Including their sex. Once you realise that it becomes quite obvious from their posting style 😉

Well done in escaping such a nasty horrible "man". Merry Christmas 🍾

Well done for knowing your worth and getting rid of this gobshite before he could do any more damage. You are an example to all women who put up with this sort of shit and I really hope your thread inspires anyone who is being treated badly to get out as soon as possible. You sound amazing, your warmth and humour just shines out from your posts. I hope you have a lovely peaceful Christmas with your kids and all the people who matter most. He is just a crappy bit of history now. Your future will be so much brighter without him in it.

I have just read all of your posts, what an absolute twat of a man. You deserve so much better.

Well done, it sounds like you have a fantastic support network around you

Well done to the OP for staying strong.

The eejit men who appear to have wandered into this thread apparently have difficulty in coping with women who stand up for themselves.

Why are you even living with this fkin tosser ? He sounds like a total axx hole .Make it your New Year Resolution to end this joke of a relationship. Sounds like he's got fk all respect for you .You are worth so much more x

If this was first and only time in an otherwise good relationship, forget it. If similar events have occurred find a decent partner.

I wish there was a React icon that said "read all the OP's posts before replying."