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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not leave early because he was cold

173 replies

Rosebyanothername19 · 14/12/2024 22:07

We went to a winter Illuminations event this evening and my DH just wore a t-shirt and jacket, despite my reminders that it was cold and we should all wrap up warm... Apparently it wasn't going to be that cold...

About 1/3 of the way round he starts saying he is cold (Quelle surprise!). We stopped for some food, as was the plan. He is now trying to hurry us all up saying how cold it is and that he didn't want to be stood around for ages. I was trying to get DC to eat faster but they are slow eaters. I didn't let them go on the fairground rides as that would have meant more standing around and tried to walk through as fast as possible. We stopped to take a picture at one bit (the first of the day!) and DH just walked off as it was too cold to stand about taking pictures. The last straw was when we stopped to watch the light show. DH just said I've had enough I'm off and went back to the car. I tried to enjoy the rest of the time with the DC and not let them realise anything was wrong.

My DH is now saying that he is disappointed and I should have taken his feelings and comfort more into consideration.

Am I being unreasonable for not just rushing through the rest to get back?

OP posts:
TheSilkWorm · 14/12/2024 22:08

What a bloody idiot he is

AlertCat · 14/12/2024 22:09

TheSilkWorm · 14/12/2024 22:08

What a bloody idiot he is

First post nails it.

idontlikefruitpastilles · 14/12/2024 22:09

He's an idiot and should have thought it through. YANBU.

AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras · 14/12/2024 22:09

That really was quite silly. Is he 8 years old?

Stormyweatheroutthere · 14/12/2024 22:10

You should have told him to buggar off and sit in the car for the whole thing...

Tiswa · 14/12/2024 22:10

So basically his feeling and discomfort (based on his own stupidity for not wearing the right clothing) trumps everyone else’s enjoyment and experience including his children not going on rides

the world does not revolve aroundhim

Changingplace · 14/12/2024 22:10

Is he usually this stupid?

Gingernaut · 14/12/2024 22:10

Your DH either genuinely overestimated how cold/warm it was going to be, or he has sabotaged a fun night out

Either way, he's a twat

TeenLifeMum · 14/12/2024 22:10

He’s a grown adult and should have dressed for being outside in December! I’d remind him of that fact and not tolerate any other nonsense. I’d be furious he tried to sabotage a family activity. Does he have form? I honestly would leave, your description of him sounds hard work and life is too short.

SoloSofa24 · 14/12/2024 22:11

You seem to be married to a 12-year-old who refuses to listen to his mum when she says he needs to wear a coat.

I think your DH has experienced the consequences of his stupidity, and no, you should not have pandered to him. He was able to go and wait in a warm(er) car while the properly dressed members of the family enjoyed their event.

mum2jakie · 14/12/2024 22:12

What a dick!

SpryCat · 14/12/2024 22:13

It’s his fault he didn’t wrap up warm and was cold and then making a big deal of it, expecting everyone to hurry and miss out was selfish. He could have said he was going back to the car without getting moody and let everyone enjoy themselves. You have nothing to apologise for Op

AuntieJoyce · 14/12/2024 22:14

My ex used to ruin loads of trips in a similar way. Many times he wandered off back to the coffee shop or to the car and I had to continue with the children. After we divorced days out were just bliss

Wasywasydoodah · 14/12/2024 22:16

Mine was like this. I told him how stupid it was and pointed out the consequences. He did actually listen. Now he wears a coat. Little wins…

Manara · 14/12/2024 22:17

My DH is now saying that he is disappointed and I should have taken his feelings and comfort more into consideration.

I hope you told him how disappointed you were that he didn’t listen to you about wrapping warm and how he ruined a family day out with his selfishness?

Waterboatlass · 14/12/2024 22:18

Has he explained why he thought a t-shirt would be suitable attire for a December evening?

Original poster
Rosebyanothername19 · 14/12/2024 22:18

Oh gosh! Thank you all so much! I was starting to wonder if I was really in the wrong!

Apparently if it was any of the children or me that was cold we would have been quicker (I pointed out that if that was the case I would have taken full responsibility!) and it's just because he is always bottom of the line and no one cares about him that we were slow! He thinks his feelings just don't matter.

For context he is incredibly busy at work at the moment, very stressed and I'm tied up with work and DC a lot so don't have much time to do anything nice just for him.

OP posts:
EasterIssland · 14/12/2024 22:19

Apologies. I clicked on Aibu by mistake. Def ynbu

Blarn · 14/12/2024 22:19

My ten year old insisted she only needed a light rain jacket today as she has two jumpers and a tshirt on. It was cool but damp so felt cold but I let her make her own decision and hope she would learn for next time. She quietly admitted she was cold and should have worn a coat (we were only out half an hour, I knew she'd be OK!). But she stoically carried on, didn't complain as I'm sure she knew it was her fault. Your dh sounds like a ridiculous idiot. He should have admitted his mistake and put up with it or apologised and returned to the car telling you all to take your time.

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 14/12/2024 22:19

So a grown man, a father no less, isn’t responsible enough to work out that putting a jumper on in December might be a good idea? Remind him that he is a grown up and needs to behave as such. Tell him to piss off and sit in the car.

SleepToad · 14/12/2024 22:20

Sadly your husband has fallen for a new infectious disease affecting males from 6-80...the wear as little clothing as possible to prove yer hard syndrome. Usually manifests in the wearing of shorts all year round. But can spread to encompass the tee shirt only or vest top in the snow symptoms.

First believed to be reported in postmen and Newcastle United supporters.

Only treatment is to allow patients to get hypothermia and hopefully grow the fuck up

Original poster
Rosebyanothername19 · 14/12/2024 22:20

Manara · 14/12/2024 22:17

My DH is now saying that he is disappointed and I should have taken his feelings and comfort more into consideration.

I hope you told him how disappointed you were that he didn’t listen to you about wrapping warm and how he ruined a family day out with his selfishness?

Yes I did. He said 'oh yes, of course it all my fault as usual!' I said yes dressing warm was entirely your own responsibility.

OP posts:
Juiceinacup · 14/12/2024 22:20

I would be raging at my DH if he pulled this nonsense, these events usually cost a fortune as well. Spoiling it for his kids because he can’t dress sensibly, what an idiot. I’d be telling him I’m disappointed in his selfish attitude.
i’d probably be reminding him to wear a big coat every time he left the house from now til Christmas in a faux concern voice just to make a point.

AuntieJoyce · 14/12/2024 22:20

Rosebyanothername19 · 14/12/2024 22:18

Oh gosh! Thank you all so much! I was starting to wonder if I was really in the wrong!

Apparently if it was any of the children or me that was cold we would have been quicker (I pointed out that if that was the case I would have taken full responsibility!) and it's just because he is always bottom of the line and no one cares about him that we were slow! He thinks his feelings just don't matter.

For context he is incredibly busy at work at the moment, very stressed and I'm tied up with work and DC a lot so don't have much time to do anything nice just for him.

Sounds like whataboutery to me.

what nice things would he like you to do for him?

ComeOnThenFanny · 14/12/2024 22:22

Rosebyanothername19 · 14/12/2024 22:18

Oh gosh! Thank you all so much! I was starting to wonder if I was really in the wrong!

Apparently if it was any of the children or me that was cold we would have been quicker (I pointed out that if that was the case I would have taken full responsibility!) and it's just because he is always bottom of the line and no one cares about him that we were slow! He thinks his feelings just don't matter.

For context he is incredibly busy at work at the moment, very stressed and I'm tied up with work and DC a lot so don't have much time to do anything nice just for him.

It wasn't about him really though, was it? It was for the kids... does he not realise yet that as a parent, your needs come second? What a big old baby.

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