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Original poster

A nasty card given to child

303 replies

Ssvic · 14/12/2024 08:43

I just found a card tucked away in my daughter’s drawer. It says “no one likes you or cares about you”. She’s 9 years old. Schools have broken up so can’t talk to the teacher. I have the mums contact details as we are on class WhatsApp. I have never spoken to her. What would you do? Ignore and talk to school in January or send the mum a picture of the card? What would you do? I spoke to dd who got very quiet and said he’s naughty. I asked her if she would like me to tell the school
snd she said yes she’s never mentioned this boy before. Sorry for typos, my phone screen is not working properly

OP posts:
Original poster
Ssvic · 14/12/2024 08:46

Sorry I wasn’t very clear. It was a Christmas card with “happy Christmas” crossed out and replaced with that message I’ve written in op

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 14/12/2024 08:46

I’d be contacting school if it came via them. There’s always someone you can co tact

MattieandmummyandIs · 14/12/2024 08:46

Oh that's horrible, your poor DD. I would wait and speak to her teacher first and show them the card. You might have to speak to the boy's Mum if school aren't very helpful but hopefully they will be. Important that's it's on their radar though just incase this is not an isolated event.

MelainesLaugh · 14/12/2024 08:47

Could you put it on the whole WhatsApp group and ask if anyone else’s children had one? Without saying who it’s from

RampantIvy · 14/12/2024 08:50

I would contact the school. This is bullying. I assume that it is a private school if they have already broken up for Christmas.

Would the school take a different line if they were worried about losing income from an unhappy parent?

ChristmasGladTidings · 14/12/2024 08:51

Well, first, I would have to be locked in a room without my phone before I calmed down and could respond with any degree of reasonableness. But actually, your brave DD has already answered your question - she wants you to speak to the school. So I would wait and do just that. It’s important she knows you are doing something about it and that’s a more formal channel particularly if you don’t know this mum. Give her lots of hugs and reassurance that she is loved and cared for over the Christmas break (can you sort some play dates with some school friends maybe to show her that the boy is wrong?), and keep reminding her you will speak to the school in the new year so she knows you are listening to her!

Didimum · 14/12/2024 08:51

What did the mum say?

MattieandmummyandIs · 14/12/2024 08:52

I'd probably also try some gentle lines of questioning with your DD to see if there's any other bullying going on and let her know you're on her side. I'm sorry for your DD, she's obviously upset about it.

Butthechildrentheylovethebooks · 14/12/2024 08:53

Always deal with the school. And don't let it drop until you know for sure it has been dealt with.

Jostuki · 14/12/2024 08:54

As the school has broken up I would directly contact the mother and send a photo of the card. Be factual,

Hello Deirdre, I'm Petunia's mother and your son Barnaby gave her this Christmas Card. I know I would want to know if my child has done something awful so I thought you should see it.

skyeisthelimit · 14/12/2024 08:56

Always talk to the school not the parent. The school will deal with it and hopefully talk to the whole class as well about bullying.

caringcarer · 14/12/2024 08:57

MelainesLaugh · 14/12/2024 08:47

Could you put it on the whole WhatsApp group and ask if anyone else’s children had one? Without saying who it’s from

I'd be tempted to put it on WhatsApp group and say X received this card from Y. Name and shame them.

SwerveCity · 14/12/2024 08:57

Oh this would break my heart. Your poor DD. Photograph it and sent to the school. This is not ok.

FuckThePoPo · 14/12/2024 08:57

Didimum · 14/12/2024 08:51

What did the mum say?

🙄

DustyLee123 · 14/12/2024 08:58

Don’t let the mum brush it under the carpet, go via school

Itsfreezingbutpretty · 14/12/2024 08:58

i wouldn’t contact the mum directly unless you know her really well, or know she’d react helpfully. Maybe also help DD see friends over the break as good friendships are protective against bullying, you might be doing this anyway of course.

MiddleClassProblem · 14/12/2024 08:59

MelainesLaugh · 14/12/2024 08:47

Could you put it on the whole WhatsApp group and ask if anyone else’s children had one? Without saying who it’s from

I’m sorry, wtf? This is so not what to do!

If there are no staff at the school, contact them in January (they are often in a day or two before term starts but might not contact until the first day).

Speak to your daughter and ask if he has done anything else just so you have all the facts and assure her that you’ll speak to them and she has a few weeks without him and full of fun and cuddles.

WillowTit · 14/12/2024 08:59

Jostuki · 14/12/2024 08:54

As the school has broken up I would directly contact the mother and send a photo of the card. Be factual,

Hello Deirdre, I'm Petunia's mother and your son Barnaby gave her this Christmas Card. I know I would want to know if my child has done something awful so I thought you should see it.

i think that is a good message

Dealingwithatrexrightnow · 14/12/2024 08:59

The priority is your daughter. Take her out for a nice hot chocolate and tell her how lovely she is.

Hold her hand. Tell her you found the card and how awful it is and not very, very not true.

Email photos of the card to the school. Be factual ask what support they can offer your daughter.

Timetoread · 14/12/2024 08:59

Definitely tell the school. A single incident does not class a bullying but it is nevertheless unkind behaviour that needs to be dealt with.

Didimum · 14/12/2024 09:00

FuckThePoPo · 14/12/2024 08:57

🙄

Show quote history

I mistakenly read it as ‘I have spoken to her’. You know what – I’ve been up since 4am as my 4yr old has broken her arm. So save your eye rolling for someone else.

cansu · 14/12/2024 09:02

I would just keep the card, show it to the teacher on the return to school and let them deal with it.

MayaPinion · 14/12/2024 09:02

Do not go to the parent - you don’t know them or what they consider to be appropriate. Always, always, go to the school.

FuckThePoPo · 14/12/2024 09:03

Didimum · 14/12/2024 09:00

I mistakenly read it as ‘I have spoken to her’. You know what – I’ve been up since 4am as my 4yr old has broken her arm. So save your eye rolling for someone else.

Show quote history

I'll try very hard as it's Christmas

StrawberryFlowers · 14/12/2024 09:03

Obviously double check it wasn't your dd that wrote it, but if not yes that's horrible and I'd report it

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