A nasty card given to child

[Ssvic]

I just found a card tucked away in my daughter’s drawer. It says “no one likes you or cares about you”. She’s 9 years old. Schools have broken up so can’t talk to the teacher. I have the mums contact details as we are on class WhatsApp. I have never spoken to her. What would you do? Ignore and talk to school in January or send the mum a picture of the card? What would you do? I spoke to dd who got very quiet and said he’s naughty. I asked her if she would like me to tell the school
snd she said yes she’s never mentioned this boy before. Sorry for typos, my phone screen is not working properly

Christ almighty. Talk about making a drama. Your WhatsApp groups must be fun to be in.

Go to the school- they will have a much more professional way of dealing with things than the parents on a WhatsApp group.

I think you were right to message the mum. Schools have enough to do, but obviously make them aware if anything happens again.

I would speak to the school. What a very upsetting thing for you to see and your daughter to experience. Things like this can really hurt. It sounds like the boy might have some problems of his own. It depends on how the school handles this as to whether you would need to speak to the mother. Hopefully, they will handle it with care. Your daughter should not have to put up with this behaviour.

No harm in contacting the other mother. You might be surprised and find that she is as horrified as you! Or you might find that they are a scumbag. Either way you will know what you are dealing with because once it is official things could get a lot worse for your daughter.... Despite the platitudes in my experience schools often don't deal with bullying, at least not in an effective way.

Name and shame a 9 year old?? 😳😳

I’m so sorry OP that this happened, what a horrible experience for your daughter and it breaks my heart. 💔😢Hopefully your daughter is feeling already better and wrapped up in love to know this is an untruth

and that the school will deal with it appropriately 🙏

Yeah if you want to whip up some drama.

School has broken up for Xmas. Once they get back they'll just sweep it under the carpet.

I don’t think that’s good enough, and you telling your daughter he apologised? Nah you still need to talk to the class teacher in the new year and ask her to speak to them all about bullying etc and keep an eye on him and how he is with her. This absolutely isn’t okay, even if he sent it to everyone (which I doubt).

This. I’m sorry but I would do this and say it’s upsetting for the whole family.

This is bullying and she was absolutely right to talk to the mother.

Other children could have one and be keeping it away from their parents because they are ashamed.

Ooohhh totally the other side but I once intercepted a card from my son to a girl saying I hope you have a horrible Christmas. He didn’t like her, she was not nice to him apparently. He was around 9 years old.

Very glad it did not get delivered but my son is no bully, he just thought this girl was not nice and lacked any kind of filter, so thought if he had to write her a card he would say what he thought. I set him straight.

He could have just not sent someone he disliked a card?

Sending a shitty Christmas card to someone you think is not nice is… not nice.
9 year olds are plenty old enough to know better.

I mean, it wasn’t sent. He got given a list of school mates and told to write them out a card and that’s what came out.

Presumably you’ve met children before? Thinking about it now he was probably younger, 7 or 8, he got given a list and some cards and freestyled.

in context, this girl is known to be a mean girl. I am so glad I intercepted but I don’t disagree with him feeling like he didn’t like her. He was a tiny little boy.

If you let the school know they may be aware of other issues between the boy, your daughter and maybe other children in the class and may move him to a different class if possible.

Definitely take a picture, whack it into the Whatsapp group. Teachers hardly take any responsibility. The only way for bullies to be dealt with is directly, through the parents. I was bullied my whole childhood and not one teacher ever helped me. Nor did my own parents. Just saying. I would go directly to the child who wrote it even, but that is just me. Adults just pussyfoot around these bullies too much, in my experience. But sometimes kids need a good firm talking to. If not, they end up those teenagers stabbing each other outside the chicken shop you hear so much about in the UK. If anyone bullies my little one, I nip it right in the bud. Fiercely. My motto is: f'k around and find out.

Wait until after Xmas, how awful for her.

After the mum's message saying "oh he wrote that on everyone's card". I'd not be able to reply that other children might be taking the card message very badly and their parents might not be aware. She's obviously bullshitting I think. Awful brat of a boy 🤬

Sounds like you've taken good action. Your poor DD. I'd follow up with the school (not via the class WhatsApp!) after break, be factual explaining what the mum told you and ask them to look into it too. I'd be suspicious whether the boy is telling the truth, I'd guess he made that up as an excuse to his mum because surely other children would have mentioned it and your DD wouldnt have cried? And even if he wrote it to everyone, thats still concerning

I would mention it to the teacher in the new year too.

Either the boy is lying, and he may continue the nasty behaviour to your DD.

Or

He did write that message to everyone and there could be problems between him and the rest of the class.

Either way the teacher should be given a heads up.

I'd be mortified if my DC behaved like that, his mother doesn't sound phased by it all.

Email the teacher now. Even though it's the holidays, many teachers still have access to their emails and you might get a reassuring response. I'm a teacher and if I got this email, during the holidays, I'd reply straight away and/or call the parent.

Wait until January and speak to school

I'm pleased you got a response that seems to have sorted things. Use this example to your dd that sometimes some people are
D1ck heads and not to let them upset her. It says a lot about the DH it's not her.

I would wait till after Xmas and then take it to show the class teacher so she can address the situation.

I would post the card on the class group and ask whether it's only one person who got anything like it [hide the signature]. Then, play it by ear. Then, also, contact the mother of the guilty party, privately.