Shag, Marry, Avoid - Disrespectful in front of BF?

[SausageDogForChristmas]

Early in my relationship with boyfriend (one month/6 weeks in) Big night out with all my friends and a few mutual friends. A bit tipsy and my friends and I started playing shag, marry, avoid with celebrity names, some ridiculous suggestions, all light hearted fun. Looked over and BFs face was like thunder. He was furious and really angry. He went to storm off and mutual friends stopped him. He shouted at me that I was extremely disrespectful, I’m supposed to be his girlfriend. We all then went for a meal and the atmosphere was awful. He was barely speaking to me, a few of my friends tried talking to him and we went outside and I had to explain that it was just a bit of fun. Lighthearted and I didn’t mean to upset him. I wouldn’t care if he had done it.

AIBU? Was I disrespectful? It was just lighthearted fun. He did similar where I admitted to fancying a certain celebrity/singer. Refused to speak to me for hours, we had a horrible row.

I would have thought something like this could be quite flirty, particularly if your new BF has any superficial similarities to any of the celebrities involved.

Your BF comes across badly. It would be a bit different if you'd said something disrespectful like, "I wish my BF was x like y". I'm assuming you didn't.

I don't think he's a keeper.

Does he think there’s a genuine chance of you shagging Brad Pitt, snogging George Clooney and pushing Tom Cruise off a cliff?

Sounds like a twat.

I think it was disrespectful. If I was him, I would have just quietly left rather than making a scene then ended the relationship in the morning. You two don't sound suited. Find someone who enjoys that stuff.

I would have hated that and found it really awkward in his position, particularly early in a relationship if he doesn't even know your friends that well yet. Sounds like he is also a bit insecure if you found your celebrity crush confession difficult. Maybe he isn't for you? If he was, you might have perhaps considered not playing that game in front of him...

if he* found the crush confession difficult... gah.

I think it's actually quite rude to do in front of your partner. His reactions to everything sound very OTT though.

...and bold fail. Why is text formatting so shit on the app?

Ugh.This will inly get worse. Best case scenario he is just an extremely stupid, childish, person who is so touchy and self centered he throws a tantrum whenever he thinks he feels shame. Worst case: he is all if these things and also be comes violent with you when he feels you have had too much fun, paid too much attention to other people, or disobeyed his rules for living.

LTB.

If it was about mutual friends, it would be disrespectful, but honestly who cares if you fancy Brad Pitt? Presumably he’s not knocking at your door everyday?

Your boyfriend sounds insecure, immature and like a bit of an arse hole tbh. His behaviour in front of your friends was embarrassing and would give me the ick.

You mention that this was at the beginning of your relationship - is it still bothering you now? How long have you been together? The start of relationships is when everyone is putting their best foot forward, so this incident sounds like a sign of worse to come.

He is a controlling arse.

Throw this one back!

How early into the relationship and how long has the relationship been now ?

His reaction is a massive red flag to me. Soon he wouldn't be happy with you speaking with male friends etc. A friend of mine is currently going through the same with her partner.

He's definitely an avoid based on that reaction.

Thanks, I was really embarrassed. I would have much preferred him to take me to one side and told me he wasn’t comfortable and would I mind not playing the game? Instead of storming off and giving me the silent treatment publicly in front of our/my friends. It was very embarrassing. I believe it’s healthy to fancy celebrities and have crushes on tv characters etc. it’s not real. BF said how he only fancies me now, he couldn’t even look at anyone else, no way does he fancy any celebrities/famous people. I think that’s unlikely!

I had an ex who used to tell me about other people he would like to fuck. It didn't make me feel very good so I ended it and that behaviour is now a red flag for me. I wouldn't start ranting and raving though. Red flags all round! You both need a new partner.

It is a completely over the top reaction and I don't think i could continually.

However, if I was on a night out with a bf of a month and his mates and they sat discussing which celeb women they wanted to shag or marry, and egging each other on.

I wouldn't have been impressed. It's not even that I'd have been jealous or controlling. It would have given me the major ick hearing them discussing women in that way - I'm presuming it was mainly based on looks/levels of sexual attraction.

I wouldn't have caused a scene the way he did but it would be a massive red flag. I'd have noted it internally and then decided if in the overall context of our 'relationship' if it was a deal breaker or not.

He also regularly says “I’m the only one you’ve ever loved aren’t I?” And honestly he’s not, I’m not 16! I have had relationships before but he wants to think I’ve only ever had feelings for him alone.

Tbh it’s a really childish game and unless you are teenagers I don’t get at all why you played this. The replies would be very different if roles were reversed: imagine your BF and his mates were discussing if they would shag Katy Perry or Ariana Grande. I wouldn’t be happy!!

How long have you been with this emotionally manipulating sulker?

See, add this on top of a massive over reaction to a silly pub game and I think he's got major red flags. This tips him into sounding possessive and jealous and that's not a road I'd follow him down.

Yeah I understand that. I’ve tried to reverse it, if it was me and him and his friends were discussing women like that would I be upset? Lots of our famous people were silly examples for instance- Mr Bean lol.

I don’t think I’d like it if my DH played this with his mates in front of me. (The idea of a bunch of grumpy 50-something men debating whether they’d like to shag Zendaya or whatever is unspeakably grim for a variety of reasons)

But I also think your BF’s reaction was OTT, and I would be looking to get out of that relationship on account of the sulking.

Why not?

Are you really that insecure about yourself/your relationship that you couldn't handle a simple game that means nothing to anyone?

Yuck.
He sounds massively insecure