To say no to dog on holiday

[Tired88p85]

We live abroad. We are going to the UK to see our families next spring when our baby will be 8 months old. My in laws have downsized so we can't all stay with them comfortably (DH is one of 4 and everyone is coupled up). So DH and I are booking a large villa for everyone for a long weekend. Everyone is contributing a bit but we are paying the majority of the cost. BIL wants to bring his new dog and I've said no. Dog is a blue (?) pitbull and will be around 1. They don't actually have the dog yet, they're in the process of bringing it home (I don't know the details).

1. I am terrified of dogs. I was attacked by one when I was 7. I have worked on.my.phobia to the extent I can now be around dogs for a few hours, I can go for a walk in the park etc (things I couldn't do 10 years ago). But being in the same house as a young pitbull for 5 days will send me over the edge.
2. baby will likely be crawling. I don't want to spend my holiday making sure baby is kept away from the puppy.

BIL has kicked off. Everyone is sort of on.my side in a "she's unreasonable but we want to see the baby so suck it up" kind.of way. It's making me feel horrible. I've been asked nicely to reconsider but if I say no everyone else is still coming. BIL is not clear on whether this is a deal breaker for him.

A crawling baby whose routine has been disrupted and is meeting a bunch of new people + a young dog in a new, crowded place = recipe for disaster

this isn’t how you introduce a baby and a dog. BIL is setting his dog up to make an honest mistake and the consequences for that could be dire for his dog, even if no one is seriously hurt.

You could end up with a bill for cleaning if this dog hasn't been properly trained toilet wise.
You could end up with shit all over.
Stand your ground op. You are right to be concerned and your child comes first

Yep, it matters, because perpetuating bullshit means that false information seeps into the public consciousness.

You may be 100% clear that leaving a dog to look after the babies is bloody stupid, but plenty of people are not, and you are perpetuating the bullshit.

Just because an apparently reputable organisation puts out information, that doesn't automatically mean that the information is correct.

Research skills include weighing the information and checking it if it looks questionable.

"I am.holding my ground, there is no way I'm agreeing to the dog. I suggested we get accommodation of our own but the grandparents and the other siblings want to be in the same house. So BIL is saying he's being excluded."

Mr Drama Llama is excluding himself. Well done you, for standing firm!

I mean - wound you ever give it a rest?! I am
not on the clock here to provide a legal opinion…..

if people want to leave their kids alone with a dog, I can’t be responsible for such stupidity. It’s not, pardon the pun, a nanny state. People will do what they do - I cannot imagine that one very minor mention on a thread on MN, which was
made by more people than me, is going to sway the nation 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Honestly I'm getting to the view that half the posts on here are made up. Who in their right mind would consider taking a new dog to a house full of folks they don't know including a BABY.
What parent of a little baby would even consider agreement to this?
And since when have houses in Britain been called villas.

Well clearly OP doesn't agree with it...

As someone who has had a baby in the not too distant past, you would be amazed how entitled some dog owners are. We had a similarish situation with a family member (involved staying at our house) and they still haven't quite forgiven us for prioritising our newborn over their fur baby.

I agree on no villas in the UK though 😃

Agreed. So boring isn't it.

The villa doesn’t allow dogs…oops 😉

Nope. When I got my dog, my friend's daughter had just had a baby.

Jeepers, in the first few weeks, an hours visit was hell on earth. He got so excited about the baby, everyone was on tenterhooks that he'd jump on the baby, scratch the baby etc. Everyone was so vigilant for the entire visit.

There's no way I'd have been comfortable taking him away with a small child. The holiday would have been a nightmare for me as well as well as everyone else, nobody would have been able to relax.

If he's not even got the dog yet, it takes months for them to settle into a new home. A trip somewhere else is going to mess that up too.
It's such a unknown situation, stick to your guns OP

However much you love your 'fluff ball' other people don't like dogs. They shouldn't come before people.

Tone Deaf. The baby will be the highlight of the holiday.

You are completely tone deaf. The OP is paying. Dogs don't need to be everywhere.

@sophiasnail - some of the nastiest dogs I have known have been poodles.

What's that got to do with anything? It is unusual for a poodle of any size to be "nasty" (whatever that means). But they are complicated dogs and tend not to be terribly interested in people they don't know. My toy would be sat on my knee if we had visitors and wouldn't move unless someone tried to lure him away with something tasty.

Unless you're a postman?

And since when have houses in Britain been called villas.

It’s in common use in Scotland, which the last time I looked was indeed part of Britain.

@@sophiasnail / my experience of several is very different. Barky, nippy and certainly not disinterested.

Obviously not if someone else is paying for my holiday rental! And especially not of they had a baby, not the our little dog who is used to babies poses danger, but dealing with the mother's anxiety would be too stressful.

The BIL refusing seperate accommodation is the problem here.

People love their dogs more than family so i can believe it. My mum won’t let me in her house unless very desperate as I dared to complain about her out of control dog.

she prefers the dogs comfort over mine, it jumps up at me constantly and I could never sit down at her house as it would climb all over me. I’d stand up for every visit. Whilst it jumped and jumped, scratched my legs and ripped my tights.

Nope, We have a dog and I love dogs but an unknown dog with a baby is a no, and you do t want the dog there anyways so… no.

I had a friend whose dog was like that. I like dogs and he was cute and friendly but absolutely manic. They made no attempt to control, contain or train him. It was a shame for the dog but it made a visit difficult because you were constantly fending him off.

Her husband was completely unapologetic. I remember a story he recounted where the dog had jumped into a passing woman in "some shit designer mac" and covered it in mud along with a hole in the fabric. She was not pleased and confronted him. He told her it was her own fault for wearing it in an area where people walk their dogs. Really and seriously. He said that to her. Then he walked away.
He had the benefit of my opinion that night I can promise you.

Really sorry your mum is a dick about the dog.

Oddly there isn't a single fatal attack by a poodle listed in the UK statistics over 20+ years. Not one.

Loads by Staffies though - purebred and cross.
Now overtaken by XL Bullies.

"Companion" dog.........?
"Nanny" dog...........?

The statistics speak for themselves.

@BMW6 - oh absolutely I don't expect to be killed by a poodle but I don't want to be constantly barked at aggressively either.

Isiteveroktousethecword
Nanny dogs hahaha yeah I thought that until my 7 year old staff nearly killed my 14 month old
Don’t spout such clap trap dogs are dogs and they can turn for any reason.
My dog was a well loved and spoilt dog who was very well taken care of we had her from a pup
She was fantastic until the night she nearly killed my baby.
Op never take the risk it’s not worth it my son is now 12 and is covered in scars

@jonnylooloo Well my in laws don't think it's THAT outrageous since I needed validation from strangers to stick to my guns.

Re "villa", maybe I've lived abroad for too long!