To say no to dog on holiday

[Tired88p85]

We live abroad. We are going to the UK to see our families next spring when our baby will be 8 months old. My in laws have downsized so we can't all stay with them comfortably (DH is one of 4 and everyone is coupled up). So DH and I are booking a large villa for everyone for a long weekend. Everyone is contributing a bit but we are paying the majority of the cost. BIL wants to bring his new dog and I've said no. Dog is a blue (?) pitbull and will be around 1. They don't actually have the dog yet, they're in the process of bringing it home (I don't know the details).

1. I am terrified of dogs. I was attacked by one when I was 7. I have worked on.my.phobia to the extent I can now be around dogs for a few hours, I can go for a walk in the park etc (things I couldn't do 10 years ago). But being in the same house as a young pitbull for 5 days will send me over the edge.
2. baby will likely be crawling. I don't want to spend my holiday making sure baby is kept away from the puppy.

BIL has kicked off. Everyone is sort of on.my side in a "she's unreasonable but we want to see the baby so suck it up" kind.of way. It's making me feel horrible. I've been asked nicely to reconsider but if I say no everyone else is still coming. BIL is not clear on whether this is a deal breaker for him.

I am not sure that you are correct. And I don’t think you have read my post in it’s entirely, no where does it state that a dog can be trusted with children completely. I think you made that up.

I was just going to say much the same. He hasn't got the dog yet...he has no idea how it's going to be. He can't feasibly insist, he doesn't know the dog's temperament, foibles, triggers or what training it is going to need. What a stupid man. Very irresponsible, unrealistic and selfish.

And the reason one can’t trust children with dogs/ dogs with children as children generally, not all of them are not aware of appropriate behaviour, pulling the dog, trying to sit on it etc. I don’t let my friends kids play with my dog for that reason, as if the dog nips, it will be the dogs fault irrespective of what the child has done and will be put down.

Are you even allowed to bring a dog to the accommodation you have booked? (Even if it is allowed you should still say no, I agree with PP who said he can book his own accommodation if he wants to bring the dog)

You're paying, you set the rules.

If he wants to bring a dog he hasn't got yet, he can stay somewhere else.

Also make it clear that when/if you go elsewhere the dog is not to be anywhere near your baby or you.

And you are not unreasonable.

@Isiteveroktousethecword - it's not a compromise though is it? Some people don't like dogs, don't want to share space with them & don't want to spend a holiday on edge. The OP's word should be final. BIL can stay at home with his dog.

Almost certainly, there aren't many places that say no to dogs anymore and it's usually B&Bs where they have cats!

It would be a deal breaker for me. I would put my foot down and say no. Either get your own accommodation for just you, your DH and baby and everyone else can sort themselves out or you all tell the self entitled potential dog owner to put his dog in kennels.

There is no compromise to be made here.

Wasn't the nanny dog thing a concept that a breeder came up with, even though his dogs killed his nephew? Some bloke beginning with C.

It's a bull terrier. The clue is in the name. A cross breed to combine fighting bulls and killing things.

Are you a bit dim? Staffordshire BULL terriers were bred for blood sports including bull fighting and bear baiting. The clues literally in the name.

Staffys are quite even tempered, BUT they have a very strong jaw and once they bite they don't let go.

It would be a flat no from me.

Stick to your original position.

It will be a blue Staffordshire bull terrier or blue French bulldog. In some countries a wide range if breeds are called pitbulls, but they are completely different temperaments. It could only happen if the dog has a crate and he accepts that it doesn't free roam around you/any children. But it looks like he will get outvoted and gave to drop out.

I love dogs but in this instance baby trumps dog every time! Get dh to stand up for your dc and say no.

@Anon1274 they were bred for bull baiting, but unlike other similar breeds, they bond with people.

I am very much a dog person, and I'd be miffed if my close family excluded my dog. But there's a huge difference - my dog is a small, friendly breed, we've had her for years from puppyhood, they've all met her and like her. Plus no-one has allergies, and even though one family member dislikes dogs, their fear is of larger bouncier ones and they've met and come to know mine in less intense circumstances than sharing accommodation for a holiday. And if someone had a small child around, they know I can and will supervise the dog closely at all times when the DC is around (including keeping her on a lead even indoors if that was what was needed).

But if someone did say "no", no matter how miffed I was I'd keep that to myself and I'd find somewhere else for the dog to stay. Your BIL is completely out of order for kicking off.

Which is a rather wordy way of saying that I don't think you are being unreasonable in the slightest!

This dog is an unknown quantity, you hate dogs in general and haven't had the opportunity to get to know it gradually, and you don't know what they will be like in practice as owners, and the whole set up is too close and personal and going on for too long.

Pitbulls are a banned breed, though??

Even without a baby the fact you are terrified of dogs and are mostly paying for the accomodation should be enough. The couple with the dog can rent their own accommodation if they want somewhere dog friendly. Add a baby into the miss and I imagine you will be panicking the whole time. We love our dog but have some basic respect for others

The recognised Staffordshire Bull Terrier of today, was not bred for blood sports including bull fighting and/or bear baiting. In the last 250 years there has been a lot of changes in the breeding, the SBT, a proper SBT does not resemble the dogs of 200-250 years ago that were bred for fighting. I won’t waste my time explaining the history - if you have the time look it up on Wikipedia.

I do love being entertained by the stupid people of MN though. Thanks for the laugh. 🤭

My sister brought her 6 week old puppy to my house when my son was a few days old.. I lost it when I stepped in puppy wee... she thought I was being unreasonable. I was not - she was 100% out of order. I love her, we are still best of friends... but she was wrong.

Sorry, but what other ‘similar’ breeds did not bond with people? The term nanny dog came from the 70’s by the president of the American Staffordshire terrier club in an attempt to rebrand the breed. She made up a lie saying that these dogs could be used as nursemaids, and the phrase ‘nanny dogs’ popped up, alongside a load of cute vintage photos of bull terriers with children which bull breed fans used to advocate the breed. Funnily enough there’s far more cute photos of xl bullies being nice with children than old vintage pit bull ones, but funnily enough it means jack shit really doesn’t it? A snapshot into a second of a dogs life where it’s not mauling a child to death, does not make it a ‘nanny dog’ ffs

This! I would not have a child of mine in a house with a staffy. If those jaws lock on, the victim is in serious trouble. Our local mag advertises dogs in need of a home. If it’s a staffy, the ad always says it should be a family with ‘children over 12’.

And the ‘nanny dog’ thing is indeed utter nonsense. Staffies have attacked children.

Are you quite sure? Pitbulls are a banned breed in UK.

Just book accommodation that doesn’t allow dogs. Easy enough.

Stand your ground.
babies > dogs.