Impatient train woman

[Bigtom]

I regularly commute on a train for around an hour each way. There are no reserved seats. I have a type of arthritis that makes sitting (or standing!) quite uncomfortable so I try to get one of the limited seats with extra leg room.

I walked the length of the train to find one today and the only one was a window seat with someone already sitting in the aisle. I duly asked the lady in the aisle if it was free and she said yes and stood up. I then took off my coat and got my coffee cup out of my bag and put my bag and coat in the overhead rack. While I did this a bit of a queue of people built up.

When I sat down, the lady muttered “take your time why don’t you”. AIBU to think she was very rude and should sit on the window seat if she doesn’t want to move? When I said that, she responded that I was keeping other people waiting!

I've been on multiple flights this year and always have to wait in the aisle for a bit while people get their stuff stored and sort themselves out. It's part and parcel of being on public transport, be it train, plane or bus. I'm sure she'd have had more to say if you'd have squashed in with bags and made her get up again ten minutes later when the queue had died down. Like you said, she could have moved over if it was that bothersome. Good for you for answering back her pass agg comment.

I tend to duck in and let people past.

I think it's politer to do all the coat and cup stuff once the other folks have got on and got past.

But then aisle lady would have had to stand up again to let me do that … I’m guessing she wouldn’t have been happy about that either!

She was rude. I have a similar commute and always take an aisle seat because I got off at the last stop before London and it's less faff/no risk of people not hearing my polite request to move etc.
The downside is keeping an eye our for anyone who wants/needs the window seat and politely waiting whilst they get themselves sorted.

Maybe aisle lady has her own issues that make standing difficult for her and the aisle seat easier for her to disembark. Who knows. I wouldn't think any more of it tbh

It seems passive aggressive of her, it’s very much part and parcel of commuting imo, but as someone above mentioned, perhaps she’s got a mobility issue or maybe she was having a bad day, hence the rudeness.

I’d try and forget about it OP.

If it was me, I would move seats and let you get on with your sorting in peace.
Many people, though, does not move seat, as this lady did. Well, her problem. She is not going to die of 1 min standing. But certainly she is not getting any brighter by acting this way.

I probably would have said to her "oh you needn't stand yet I'll just take my coat off and put my stuff overhead first".

But yeah, she was still rude and impatient!

It would have been considerate of you to forgo taking off your coat etc when someone had already stood up to let you in to the window seat, and the train was filling up and other passengers were waiting to get past. You could have sat in your coat for a while surely.

Well you were keeping a bunch of people waiting.

I'm a regular commuter too and I would've put my coat and bag on my lap, rather than hold people up.

I’ve never seen anyone take their coat off and put it on the rack on a commuter train home. What a faff. People just want to sit down quickly and get home.

That’s not possible with my arthritis.

I’m guessing you don’t suffer from hot flushes then? It’s over an hour on the train so I try to get as comfortable as possible.

Coat on lap, as PP said. An hour is a standard commute in the SE.

I would have been very uncomfortable sitting for over an hour in my coat.

Putting my coat in the overhead rack probably only took 2 seconds. Not sure who can’t wait that long.

I am in the SE for what it’s worth. My total commute is over 2 hours.

If it was 2 seconds how did such a queue build up behind you?

I probably would have wriggled out of it while in the space and put it over or under my legs.

Or already had my coat/cup out and ready to allow for a quick duck out of the thoroughfare.

Easier said than done with arthritis. And I need the leg space as mentioned in my OP.

I tend to sit down until the scrum clears and then do the necessaries when it's cleared/ train moving

It wasn’t a huge queue, just 2 or 3 people. I also took some time getting my coat off, getting my cup out and putting my bag up as mentioned in my OP. Maybe 30 seconds in total?

I'd sort my coat one sat and have it on my lap but I can’t stand people faffing on public transport. She politely stood up for you and you faffed.