Impatient train woman

[Bigtom]

I regularly commute on a train for around an hour each way. There are no reserved seats. I have a type of arthritis that makes sitting (or standing!) quite uncomfortable so I try to get one of the limited seats with extra leg room.

I walked the length of the train to find one today and the only one was a window seat with someone already sitting in the aisle. I duly asked the lady in the aisle if it was free and she said yes and stood up. I then took off my coat and got my coffee cup out of my bag and put my bag and coat in the overhead rack. While I did this a bit of a queue of people built up.

When I sat down, the lady muttered “take your time why don’t you”. AIBU to think she was very rude and should sit on the window seat if she doesn’t want to move? When I said that, she responded that I was keeping other people waiting!

What's the point of this thread op? You are adamant that you were perfectly correct, so what does this thread achieve?

Maybe she has a stoma and needed an aisle seat so she could access a toilet quickly?

Think of that?

There could be an absolute plethora of reasons, or maybe she was just a rude cow, who knows.

Maybe she has a stoma and needed an aisle seat so she could access a toilet quickly?

Think of that?

There could be an absolute plethora of reasons, or maybe she was just a rude cow, who knows.

She get validation from decent, non ableist people.

If the thread isn’t for you, move along.

Have you never heard the expression ‘put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone with theirs’.

Think of that?

OP had an immediate need with her arthritis and spine problem.

That’s fine, she has every right to an aisle seat, but she can’t then complain about being disturbed by someone who needs the window seat surely?

But she wasn’t disturbed by someone needing the window seat, as such. She was disturbed by the fact that, after you requested to sit down at the window seat, you then took time to put your coat and bag on the top seat, and get your coffee cup out.

But that’s surely part and parcel of letting someone sit down on a train travelling long distances? She had to wait for about 30 seconds. Are you saying that justifies a rude comment?

Here's a radical suggestion (must be, no-one else has thought of it!) Thinking of ways to make future journeys more comfortable, for myself I've just spent £8 on Tena lady briefs for long journeys. That amount, I reckon, would pay for a charity shop coat that was quilted, lightweight, warm and not bulky - or spend what you can. My thinking is that your coat might be heavy, bulky, perhaps wool. You say the one you have is uncomfortable to fit on your knees. Well, this could be a solution. Presumably you sleep under a duvet so draping a light quilted coat over your knees would allow for lots of twisting and turning, no problem! Or how about using it as a back rest for extra support? And in December it would be cosy, making you feel more comfortable. Extra warmth might even help with the arthritis. I suggest choosing a coat with one easy zip fastening, unfastening it just as the train pulls into the station. These type of coats are relatively easy to slip on and off and surprisingly warm too. In fact, I have decided to take my own advice as I was wondering how to deal with a long-haul flight to warmer climes in winter from the UK. I am off to buy one myself, purely for long journeys. Big pockets to accomodate coffee cups, a bonus! I already have cheap but cosy loungewear kept purely for long flights and it is great! Don't dwell on that poor journey with its unfortunate set of circumstances, rather focus on making future ones better! 🙂

To be fair it’s not like the train can’t get moving while people are looking for seats.

I’ve been on peak time commuter trains and despite the guard saying on the intercom that there were plenty of seats in various carriages and people needed to get out of the door area, people just stand.

next time just tuck yourself in and then get out again. Or just do what you normally do

personally I would have my coffee cup already out rather than faff getting it out of my bag

🍿

...and four days later, this 20-second altercation is still the subject of much debate. 😂I originally voted "YANBU" but I'm beginning to regret that now as the OP has invested so much in this thread that I'm inclined to think she was probably holding everyone up on that train. I'd love to see a thread from one of her fellow passengers.

It isn't holding people up though is it, you're so going to get there at the same time regardless.

😂😂🫣 this

I was getting on an 8am train the other day and thought of this thread... The woman next to me on the platform barged her way to the front so she could get on first, then stepped onto the train and dithered, blocking the aisle 🤦🏻‍♀️ it was so frustrating. It was probably only about 10 seconds, but I did ask her to excuse me as the seats were filling up from the other side of the carriage!

It wasn’t like that at all - it was the last carriage and the doors at the other end were locked, so the seats weren’t filling up and there were lots available anyway. In any event, the people queueing weren’t getting annoyed, it was aisle lady who already had a seat who was impatient to sit down again.

Tbf, you don't actually know they weren't getting annoyed. Maybe they just didn't say anything.

People just want to get on and sit down. Even 10 seconds felt like a long time for me in that scenario.

How is that even relevant? OP has arthritis and spine issues that mean she needed a seat and to be able to put her coat away before sitting.

She did not dither and it’s perfectly reasonable for her to use the extra leg room seat and the overhead shelf as they were intended to be used.

Who cares if they were annoyed?

Why should OP prioritise randoms over her own needs from her arthritis and spine issues?

So their wants trump my needs?

10 seconds really isn’t a long time to wait although I can appreciate the frustration in your situation that the seats were filling from the other end. As I say, that didn’t apply in my situation.

I love how the timing keeps changing. Ten seconds, 20 seconds, 30 seconds. Not very reliable timings!

Just let people sit down.

The PP said she had waited 10 seconds. I haven’t changed my estimated timings at all. Funnily enough I didn’t get a stopwatch out at the time so it is just an estimate anyway🙄

I didn’t stop anyone sitting down, they just had to wait 29 (or maybe 31?) seconds to do so.

By that logic, why should they care if OP is annoyed by seat woman commenting?

OMG are you still banging on about this?!
You are entitled. But you think that’s fine because you live with pain.
Others disagree.

Thats it. End of.

To them, probably yes.

So (for clarity I'm talking about MY situation, not yours) the woman held everyone up by 10 seconds. There were roughly 100 people getting on at my stop. If everyone took 10 extra seconds to get on, the train would run 15 minutes late just from one stop.