Impatient train woman

[Bigtom]

I regularly commute on a train for around an hour each way. There are no reserved seats. I have a type of arthritis that makes sitting (or standing!) quite uncomfortable so I try to get one of the limited seats with extra leg room.

I walked the length of the train to find one today and the only one was a window seat with someone already sitting in the aisle. I duly asked the lady in the aisle if it was free and she said yes and stood up. I then took off my coat and got my coffee cup out of my bag and put my bag and coat in the overhead rack. While I did this a bit of a queue of people built up.

When I sat down, the lady muttered “take your time why don’t you”. AIBU to think she was very rude and should sit on the window seat if she doesn’t want to move? When I said that, she responded that I was keeping other people waiting!

My pain is eased by movement and much worse at rest. We’re all different I guess. Doesn’t mean I’m in less pain because I can walk the length of a train. Sorry to hear you’re suffering as well though.

Suffering more because of people who blocked the aisle so I couldn't sit down.

It’s not, I need to be able to move around and stretch out my legs. I can’t do that with my bag in the way. Reaching up is not a problem.

She should have just moved up.

For what it's worth, I think that even if you were faffing about (and without seeing you in action I can't decide either way), it was exceptionally rude of the woman to say what she did.

I accept she may have a reason for not wanting to sit by the window, but on a busy train she must have known someone would want the seat at some point. meaning she'd have to shift either to let someone in, or to move to the window seat.

However, I do think you've been a fool to yourself by giving this any more thought than it required (practically none), and for posting it on mumsnet so that you could have your arse handed to you on a plate.

👏

If you mean the woman in the aisle seat, I thoroughly agree. It would have been the easiest thing to do.

It almost sounds like you were a tad miffed that she didn't just move to the window, so you made a bit of a performance of faffing with your stuff. But then she commented on it, and had the 'back up' that you did indeed hold up other people as well.

The kind of pettiness I love being witness to when I'm commuting 😂

Depends why she wants or needs the aisle seat. I was sitting in an aisle seat on a train, a woman came and wanted to sit down so i stoodup to let her through. No she said I had to move as she wanted the aisle seat. I said I'd booked the aisle seat and wasn't moving. She got angry and said she needed it. I explained my GC were sitting two rows in front on the opposite side of the aisle and as they were young I needed to keep an eye on them and as we couldn't get three seats together it was the best the booking lady could do. She still insisted she was having the aisle seat. She wasn't and she didn't.

My mother had claustrophobia and she couldn't sit in the window seat. Despite her very bad arthritis she would stand in pain rather than sit in a window seat.

Amazing how we all have our own needs.

Some people need/want to sit in an aisle seat for their own comfort reasons, for instance when my uncle had a knee replacement he needed to stick his leg out into the aisle (when everyone was sat down) to relieve pain.

My husband is like that. Over 6ft with crippling pain, Consultant forecast he'd be in a wheelchair within 5 years and that was 35 years ago. He keeps going but the pain is terrible. He's not giving up his aisle seat for anyone.

Actually some of us just cant sit with our coats on for a bit longer. It makes me feel like Im going to faint.

It sounds like you maybe could have been a bit quicker, but she does sound like she was being a bit of a grouch.

Let it go. Sometimes people are in bad moods and just don't handle life's little annoyances and inconveniences well. Think to yourself "wow she must be having a shite day" and get on with yours.

'@TeenLifeMum · Today 19:11

I'd sort my coat one sat and have it on my lap but I can’t stand people faffing on public transport. She politely stood up for you and you faffed.'

The OP has stated several times that she has arthritis.

How nice of you to think people who have a health condition/disability that might make affect their mobility 'faff'...

You took the time you needed OP.

That lady was rude.

Because you started this post complaining about an impatient woman rather than just figuring she had her own stuff going on and moving on from it.

Why are people suggesting the op was faffing and taking ages - taking out a coffee cup, putting bag in overhead space and taking off a coat......... takes only a minute. A queue will build up in that time but thats how it is when the train is busy. Waiting an extra minute is standard.
The woman in the aisle seat sounds annoying. Maybe she would prefer to travel first class next time - then she can (pay considerably more) and have a lone seat (and not have to put up with us common folk). If she was truly that fussed she could have moved to the window seat. In my experience people who dont want to share........ do tend to sit in the aisle seat - hoping no one will ask to sit in the other seat.

Oh come on, a commuter train with loads of seats but a queue building up while she takes her coat off, takes her coffee cup out, presumably does her bag up again, puts coat and bag in the overhead rack? I don't believe it took a minute, she was clearly faffing about, probably hoping the other woman would move and she's miffed she didn't get her own way while she's oblivious to the inconvenience to other people.

Sorry that was meant to quote a previous poster but if you can't sit with your coat on take it off as the train comes in and put it back on when you get off the train. Doesn't inconvenience other peop.e

@InWalksBarberalla her own stuff - like an attitude problem? I guess that could take some working on........ no doubt she'll get some more chances to practice next time shes on a train! Whatever her issue is, she was rude and there really was no need.

If you take that attitude then op wouldn't have died not having extra leg room... see stupid comment. People have all sorts of issues and aisle Iady could have struggled standing

I think this might be an invisible diability thing. She probably didn't know that you have all these challenges and that that particular seat was the answer to your difficulties. It's hard to tell strangers all that, so I'm not sure how to make it better, but she might just have thought you were being inconsiderate, whereas you actually had reasons for all the things you were doing.

@TheignT easily only a minute or so. Ive waited far longer whilst people have arranged themselves prior to moving so others can find a seat.

I’m not sure how held up anyone can be <on a moving train> 🤔

You weren't on my train today then were you. Old man rearranging stuff, moving his bag, and it was definitely more than a minute and yes I was standing there in pain when he could easily have let me, and the other people, get past so we could sit down.

Because you're showing no consideration for the fact aisle lady might have been in pain standing for you

Some people think they are the only one with issues. I have arthritis, I'm in pain standing, I always make an effort not to inconvenience other people because I know I'm not the centre of the universe and I don't know what problems other people have. If everyone did that no one would be inconvenienced and no one would need to get annoyed.