Impatient train woman

[Bigtom]

I regularly commute on a train for around an hour each way. There are no reserved seats. I have a type of arthritis that makes sitting (or standing!) quite uncomfortable so I try to get one of the limited seats with extra leg room.

I walked the length of the train to find one today and the only one was a window seat with someone already sitting in the aisle. I duly asked the lady in the aisle if it was free and she said yes and stood up. I then took off my coat and got my coffee cup out of my bag and put my bag and coat in the overhead rack. While I did this a bit of a queue of people built up.

When I sat down, the lady muttered “take your time why don’t you”. AIBU to think she was very rude and should sit on the window seat if she doesn’t want to move? When I said that, she responded that I was keeping other people waiting!

One persons "fannying around" or "faffing" is someone else's getting a couple of items sorted / comfortable. Everyone is way too impatient and intolerant of everyone else now. There's loads of threads on here about the levels or impatience, aggression etc Of everyone could just take a breath the world would be a lot nicer. And yes I work, am a single parent and am v busy.

Haha this is why I never bother priority boarding. I let everyone sort themselves out then on a get and just slot in (with coat in arms ready to go under the plane seat).

I completely agree. Seems we’re in the minority though!

I guess time length/fannying levels are subjective. I would consider faffing as doing none urgent things that could be done in a faster way, when there is a huge queue behind you. I would consider it to be people who just have no concept of what is going on around them. No you don't need to get your hair brush out now, sit down, let people get past, some of which may have medical needs, let the plane take off, then sort it out.

She was a bit rude but if a queue built up, you were taking ages. If the trai. Was busy, I would have sat Shen and take. It off whilst sitting.

Was the woman half bent over as you did your stuff, sometimes when you stand up for someone and they take a while and your not properly standing up, half in half out of seat, it can be uncomfortable and really annoying. And were you slow, sometimes if your half standing and bent over and hanging on waiting for someone to do their stuff before they sit down and they do it really slowly.. fuck that pisses me off.
however pissed off I was though I would never say “take your time why don’t you” because it’s not only very fucking rude, you also never know why they are slow. YANBU

Agree with this but it’s different on a plane - your seat is already assigned so it makes no difference. On a commuter train, seats aren’t usually assigned so someone blocking the aisle can make all the difference between getting a seat or standing, or getting an aisle seat which you need to stretch out your leg due to knee injury, etc.

I completely agree. Sit down and sort out coats and bags. I’m from the south east and used to do the London commute. There’s no faffing around.

I’m now in the West Country and it’s a bit slower paced.

This is probably the answer!

I can’t stretch my legs into the aisle because my back is very stiff and doesn’t rotate like that. I would probably have sat in a normal seat and put up with the pain.

Bloody impatient is what she was. Everything's such an inconvenience for some people.

Just do it on the platform.

The info board lets you know when the train is due to arrive.

Well she took long enough to annoy the woman next to her and to cause other people to form a queue as they couldn't get past. That does indicate it took more than the 2 seconds she claimed it took.

You have no idea why the other woman chose the aisle seat but the fact is it was a free seat and she sat in it. No one has a right to judge her for that anymore than they should judge the OP for deciding she needed a priority seat more than anyone else on the train.

Well the OP certainly had no intention of thinking of anyone else, she wanted what she wanted, priority seat, take her coat off holding other people up, getting coffee cup out of bag (can an adult really not do a 1 hr journey without coffee?)

Maybe you're not in pain standing on a train while OP faffs about. I've been a single parent with a demanding job and very busy, I've been my husband's carer, bringing up children and doing a demanding job. Trust me the world looks different when you are in pain and someone else is messing about adding to your pain, I hope you don't find out.

Wow I literally can't believe these responses. My mum has arthritis and moves slowly now and would need one of the seats OP describes. If anyone was rude to her about it I would cut them down so quickly their head would spin.

No one is rude about needing priority seats. Does your mother block the aisle while she faffs about holding other people up? If not there isn't a problem is there. I need a priority seat if possible due to arthritis but I would never stand in the aisle blocking people so I can take my coat off and sort my bag out as I know I'm not the only person in the world with a painful condition.

If there were loads of seats further down why didn't you go to the end or find an aisle seat if you knew you needed to faff before sitting down?

Yes if she needs to put her coat away she needs to put it away! Why should she be uncomfortable or burdened with things because she has a disability?

She has reduced mobility she can’t keep getting up! Just because you can doesn’t mean SHE can.

Seriously learn some empathy people.

You seriously don’t see why a disabled person should take the first available suitable seat?

Fuck me.

Of course she shouldn’t be uncomfortable or burdened with things because she has a disability, but she should also be mindful of those around her and step aside so others can do what they need to do before blocking the aisle on public transport. The two aren’t mutually exclusive and others around may also have disability needs.

I don't think it's "messing about" though. The OP has explained her own pain would be increased by sitting in her coat with bag in lap and that she can't twist to sit in an aisle seat. Everyone saying "think of those in pain" are ignoring the OPs. What I'm saying is that life is full of other people. Everyone is building up what the op did into.some huge, entitled thing but it will have taken less than a minute. If you're capable of being out and on public transport the extension of that by one minute, when the train could have been delayed for any number of minutes or you could have been standing waiting for people to get off with buggies or luggage should not be deserving of such ire. Everyone has needs, we all need to work around each others' and I don't think what the OP did was egregious. And yes I have my own pain in various ways.

RTFT, the OP has already said she doesn’t have a problem walking and had walked the length of the carriage to find a suitable seat for her needs.

I'd be prepared to bet it was more than that. I think, though, that the business of getting set up with coffee etc would have irritated me more than the coat/bag stuff.

What guarantee would she have of a seat being free further down the train? You take the first available suitable seat.

The ignorance on this thread is astounding.