Impatient train woman

[Bigtom]

I regularly commute on a train for around an hour each way. There are no reserved seats. I have a type of arthritis that makes sitting (or standing!) quite uncomfortable so I try to get one of the limited seats with extra leg room.

I walked the length of the train to find one today and the only one was a window seat with someone already sitting in the aisle. I duly asked the lady in the aisle if it was free and she said yes and stood up. I then took off my coat and got my coffee cup out of my bag and put my bag and coat in the overhead rack. While I did this a bit of a queue of people built up.

When I sat down, the lady muttered “take your time why don’t you”. AIBU to think she was very rude and should sit on the window seat if she doesn’t want to move? When I said that, she responded that I was keeping other people waiting!

It’s literally in the first paragraph of my OP.

Were you clearly struggling and clearly in pain?

You didn't mention this before but since you have now, then YANBU obviously.

If the woman knew this then she shouldn't have said anything about the hold up.

No, it probably wasn’t obvious to aisle lady to be fair. Not sure how it would be unless I was sobbing in pain or something?

Why are you assuming you were the only person struggling and in pain?

Did you have to sit down in your actual seat whilst waiting for scrum to clear? There could have been more accessible free seats to perch in just to let people through before you settled in properly.

She politely stood up for you and you faffed.

Agree. This would have annoyed me. Duck in until queue is gone. I can't stand for long and would have been in pain if someone had done what you did.

I’m not, why do you think I am?

Thank you. She might have been.

I don't know either but you were the one who said it was obvious?

Yes perhaps I could have asked the lady to save the seat for me, stood in the foyer and then come back to it. I’ll probably do that next time.

I meant obvious to the people who are posting on this thread.

I'd just be better prepared tbh, take coat off and cup out beforehand

So it wasn't obvious that you were sturggling and in pain but at the same time
"impatient and intolerant of someone clearly struggling and in pain" I can't work out of you if it was clearly or obvious that you were in pain or not? Very confusing.

I’m talking about the people posting on this thread who do know I was in pain and struggling and still think I should have been quicker.

I just wondered how most people would react. I think it’s a bit sad most people seem so impatient and intolerant of someone clearly struggling and in pain, but perhaps I should have expected that.

I thought you meant the people on the train (sorry).

The people on this thread are just telling you how they would've reacted on the train I think?

And they would've been none the wiser just like aisle woman.

It would be a bit of a juggling act but perhaps I could try and sort that out in the foyer next time.

Seems like this is another poster who would like there to be a topic for "AIBU - only post on my thread if you are going to say no".

Honestly I'd get my coat off and ready + coffee sorted before getting on the train - I used to do that as the train approached so I could just get on and slide into a seat! Saves time 😃

Well speaking for myself, and I've just got home from a 3 hour train journey, I have arthritis in my hips and people faffing about in the aisle so I can't get to my seat do annoy me. You had a seat to sit in so sit in it and let other people get to their seats because you don't know how much pain they are in.

I guess I normally try and be patient when people are taking a long time to do stuff because I know how hard it can be. That doesn’t seem to be the general approach though based on the responses. Lesson learned I suppose!

This. I’d have been so annoyed if I missed out on a seat after a long day at work.

Maybe they are in more pain than you? As an example I take the nearest seat as it is too painful to walk the length of the train like you did.

What about the people who can’t sit down because you’re faffing though? They might be in pain and needing to sit down ASAP. Yes people should show consideration towards you but you should also show it towards them.

ETA “that doesn’t seem to be the general approach” comes across as quite sanctimonious and like you think you’re kind and everyone else is an arsehole when you may well have inadvertently been just as inconsiderate to other people struggling!

Hear hear.

Agree with pp, coat on your lap and bag under your seat. Faff around taking your coffee cup out once you’ve sat down. Not sure why arthritis would mean you can’t do either of these things - surely reaching up into the rack above would be more of an issue?