Impatient train woman

[Bigtom]

I regularly commute on a train for around an hour each way. There are no reserved seats. I have a type of arthritis that makes sitting (or standing!) quite uncomfortable so I try to get one of the limited seats with extra leg room.

I walked the length of the train to find one today and the only one was a window seat with someone already sitting in the aisle. I duly asked the lady in the aisle if it was free and she said yes and stood up. I then took off my coat and got my coffee cup out of my bag and put my bag and coat in the overhead rack. While I did this a bit of a queue of people built up.

When I sat down, the lady muttered “take your time why don’t you”. AIBU to think she was very rude and should sit on the window seat if she doesn’t want to move? When I said that, she responded that I was keeping other people waiting!

But then I would have had to ask aisle lady to move again, as explained above. I would have done what you suggest if I’d had the aisle seat, of course.

You might have been less than perfectly comfortable with your coat draped over the table or your lap, but very likely other people on that train would be standing up for the whole journey. To be honest you are sounding quite entitled! If you absolutely had to get out your coffee and put things on the rack because of your arthritis, you could at least have apologised to everyone waiting rather than blaming them for being impatient.

Wow, are you always so impatient with disabled people?

Fwiw, I am becoming irritated just reading your post. I can well appreciate the woman who stood up for you to sit down was amazed anyone would need to bother with all that faff on a busy commuter train. And cause a pile up. Maybe go First Class where you cant irritate anyone.

No one was standing, there were multiple empty seats. As explained above, I needed one with extra leg room.

Are they both very heavy?

If so, I suppose there's nothing else could have done, except apologise.

She was very rude.

I might have thought it but I wouldn't have said it!

Was it awkward for the rest of the journey?

I think OP you sound like your faffing about quite a lot and it drives me crazy being queued behind people like that when I just want to sit down. I probably wouldnt have said anything to you but I hate when peoples faffing is wasting my time. You wouldve definitely got a look

Op, it sounds like it wasn’t a nice experience and you’ve come on here looking for sympathy and support. But…you’ve asked AIBU and lots (not all, but lots) of responses have said that actually, maybe, you were. Please don’t keep arguing with each of them and telling them why they are wrong. If you didn’t want to hear that, then you probably shouldn’t have asked the question!

I just wondered how most people would react. I think it’s a bit sad most people seem so impatient and intolerant of someone clearly struggling and in pain, but perhaps I should have expected that.

Not really, we just ignored each other!

The people stuck behind you were likely also looking for a seat and potentially missed out on getting one further down the carriage if someone else got there first whilst you were faffing with your coat. I’d have been quite annoyed if I were them.

How big was the queue that built up in 2 seconds?

taking off your coat and getting your cup out of the bag is nothing to do with you being disabled. You made a choice to do things your way and stuff everyone else.

Nope it was last carriage so the door at the far end doesn’t open. There were loads of seats available anyway.

2 or 3 people as I’ve already said.

I'd have taken my coat off and got my cup out before getting on and then just sat down, you know on a busy train there won't be much time or room for this shenanigans!

You aren't the only person with arthritis or a painful condition. You have no idea about the people who were trying to get to seats when you were sorting yourself out, you have no idea of the pain the woman next to you was in. If you get someone to move it is on you to take the seat and let them sit back down. I think you were being thoughtless at best selfish at worst.

Ok well if it wasn’t busy and there was no risk of you losing your seat, why could you not have let the people in the queue past first, returned to the spot, sorted out your belongings and then said to the lady “excuse me can I get in there please”. That way nobody is disrupted and everyone gets what they want.

So they were kept standing while you faffed about.

It was the only seat with extra leg room, so it may have got taken if I’d done that.

Maybe she’s neurodiverse or has a lot going in her personal life? #bekind

To be fair, OP, absolutely nothing in your OP said you were clearly struggling and in pain.

The faffing has nothing to do with your disability. The people you made wait may also have had disabilities.

By one of the two or three people behind you? Seems unlikely if there’s multiple extra seats available and surely even if that did happen you’d say “would you mind swapping seats with me as I have arthritis and need extra leg room”. It seems like you’re being deliberately difficult to be honest.