Mounjaro offending close "friends"

[Hope78]

I have bitten the bullet and started using Mounjaro. I pay for it privately through a reputable private clinic , and in a nutshell its been incredible.

Long story as short as poss.... I'm a well built 5ft7 woman who has been anything from 10st to 13.7st over years , ideal weight 11st happy and feel good, have gone into perimenopause , started HRT and basically CANNOT shift stubborn 2st. I told my GP my plans and he agreed as BMI verging on obese (13st4) .....decision was 6 months in making with a LOT of research before starting it ....anyway ....

I have lost my first half stone ( in 10 days ) and with close friends at the weekend told them i was on the injection and how great i feel ( not just food noise but ADHD symptoms better too ) my friends were so happy for me bar one who could not hide her disgust. This person has a stunning figure, always been a petite size 8, always attracted a lot of male attention, and has been known to be quite fattest over the years to anyone chubby. She basically said it was cheating, said i would be fatter long term and i know that behind my back is slagging me off ..
I've always been confident despite my different weights but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked , and it seemed to REALLY annoy her she has stopped messaging me as much and has declined Xmas invites for drinks at mine.
Its got me thinking that this injection is a real shift long term for men and women , but psychologically its maybe pissing off people that don't struggle????
Another friend was shocked i even told people but im not that sort of person , I'm an open book and chatty and don't see the point ? maybe i should have just kept my mouth shut ? AIBU to feel shocked and disappointed by this ?

Ah so this is the prize people are in competition for. I kind of knew what it was but couldn’t put words to it. Privilege and currency.

I always tell my friends that they look nice, if I think that they do, I compliment them on a nice dress, hairstyle, bag etc. That is a totally separate thing from congratulating someone on losing weight.

Would you tell someone who wears glasses to be careful buying them because once they stop wearing them they may realise they need them for the rest of their life? Or the diabetic people who take the medication to control their blood sugar - would you tell them not to take it because they may come to rely on it? Obesity is classified as a disease, there is a reason why many people (I admit not all but many) respond so well to the drugs and it's because there is something physical they are supporting with. Yes a massive thing is suppression and that was the aim in the beginning but the doctors and the people who use the drugs to facilitate a long term life change and not a quick fix are realising that the drug is effective even when it isn't giving massive suppression and that's because it's helping with blood sugars, hormones and insulin and there are some interesting results particularly with people with ADHD that helps them with consistency and focus (myself included) to be able to eat a normal calorie deficit, workout and be healthy like many people who aren't on the medications.
In addition, new research is showing mounjaro in particular can support cardiac health and there has been studies showing it can potentially reverse or minimise some of the damage caused by Alzheimer's disease.
Yes of course people may need to stay on these drugs for life but if you're taking your medical advice from Jillian Michael's then you need to do more research because she is not a good source for information. I appreciate you said OP should do what she wants, I just wanted to explain why the first part of your comment is unnecessary.

I also do that. They are not mutually exclusive

Pretty sure famous exercise trainer Jillian Michaels has some vested interest in keeping people in the "eat less, move more only" camp and feels her business being threatened by these medications.

But many people don’t think someone who is seven stone over weight looks their best or great. Most people think a healthy weight looks better. I agree it’s rude to ask if it’s injections, but I don’t get the sensitivity of looking better at a healthy weight v obese. I absolutely don’t look great very overweight , and I look much better at a healthy weight. I think most folks think that.

I understand it’s in the eye of the beholder, but factually most folks think people look better at a healthy weight.

Wow. Careful, your ignorance is showing.

Your 'friend' is being a proper cunt about this. It's your choice, you've been totally honest and it's not her place to pass judgement. She can think what she likes but she should keep her opinion to herself. She clearly has no manners.

Because she’s spent the last 10 years looking the way she’s looked, she could regain the weight. She’s happy and healthier which is great but I think keep your opinions to yourself unless someone is asking for them. I don’t need to know that you prefer me aesthetically when I’m thin.

My BMI was not considered dangerous enough to warrant my GP prescribing, but he did fully support my decision.

GPs can't prescribe Mounjaro for weight loss no matter what your BMI is. If you don't have any weight-related medical conditions, how did you manage to get it for a BMI of less than 30?

Not sure what the big issue is about being on medication for life if it means someone stays healthy.

I'm already on levothyroxine for a knackered thyroid and warfarin for a blood clotting disorder (both caused by my excitable immune system). A weekly injection of mounjaro is neither here nor there.

There is a commonly held moralistic view on being overweight (fat people are greedy, lazy, self indulgent etc). It must be very disconcerting for people who hold this view to then find out that there is an effective medical treatment for this 'moral' problem.

Excellent post

It's very common in thin people for whom it's their USP, their special thing to be superior about and look down on fatties. You hear it all the time.
Ignore her and look fabulous. It will annoy her immensely.
And stop inviting her to things.

I would have suggested ditching her on social media, but you will have a lot of slim photos to post which will annoy her even more😂

I wouldn't take it personally as your body will stop naturally making the hormone that controls hunger (it's being provided by the injection)

Not sure this would work for me as I don't eat too much because I'm hungry, It's more a want thing. Bored, eat. Miserable, eat.

I don't get this at all. I have PCOS and I struggled for years to lose and maintain a healthy weight. Now it's second nature but it was hard for years.

I don't care at all if there are now methods that make it easier. It doesn't take anything away from me. I might feel envious that it wasn't around for me but that would never translate to getting angry at people or wanting to withhold it from them or considering it 'cheating'. I honestly don't understand the mindset.

She sounds awful. She doesnt want you to lose weight as she likes being the thin one with men fawning over her. She's not your friend. Leave her to her bitching

It actually does work on that. It gets rid of ‘food noise’ you just don’t have them same level of drive and cravings for food.

For me, the primary reason to lose weight is for the health benefits. Yes, looking better is a nice side effect, but my main motivation for wanting to weigh less is to reduce the pressure on my ageing joints and reduce my risk of cardiovascular disease. I think any safe way to lose weight is fine. Personally, I haven't really considered weight loss injections because I am currently losing ok through diet and exercise which is a lot cheaper, and I wouldn't be eligible anyway as my BMI is now under 30.
But if I was eligible and struggling I'd definitely look into it. I do have some concerns, both about what happens when people stop taking them and whether there may be long term adverse effects of the drugs which we're not yet aware of, so for me, personally, it would only be something I would try as a last resort. And I actually think that is the case for most people I know who have started injections - they have tried very hard to lose weight other ways. Plus to be honest it doesn't look that "easy" to me, between the costs, the side effects and having to inject yourself.
We have a major problem with obesity in this country, and with so many medical conditions caused by made worse by being overweight it's in everyone's interest for people to lose weight. Obviously, we need to look at what the roots of the problem are and tackle them but those are complex problems with no quick fix. In the mean time if there's a way that helps people and reduces the burden in health services then why not? My dodgy ankle will thank me if I lose a stone or two - I don't think it's going to make any difference how "virtuous" my weight loss method is.
I think there are reasons to be cautious about new drugs of any kind, and there is definitely the possibility for these drugs to be abused and for vulnerable people to be exploited by the unscrupulous , but there's also potential for a huge amount of benefit and the whole "lazy fat person cheating by taking drugs" trope needs to end.

. She basically said it was cheating, said i would be fatter long term and i know that behind my back is slagging me off ..
I've always been confident despite my different weights but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked , and it seemed to REALLY annoy her she has stopped messaging me as much and has declined Xmas invites for drinks at mine.
Its got me thinking that this injection is a real shift long term for men and women , but psychologically its maybe pissing off people that don't struggle????

She could just as easily be a plus sized person who does struggle with her weight saying this. I don’t think she saying this because she doesn’t understand the struggle, I think she is sayings
this mainly because she’s jealous. She likes the “thin privilege” she receives and doesn’t want you to get a slice of that pie! Especially if you achieve it through (what she sees as) an easy method!

Personally I have my reservations about Mounjaro etc and wouldn’t use them myself although I probably wouldn’t comment on a friend using them - but that’s another story, I think in this case it’s about her wanting to retain her “advantage” over you. She doesn’t want you to be “equal”.

DS was fat. Not a bit chubby. but Fat. he lost the weight by year 5.... when he went to high school, some of the boys from his old school still delighted in calling him "fat" in the change rooms. He did say though that his new friends were a bit bemused by the whole thing!

OP - ignore her. A lot of people are sanctimonious about weight. They think it just takes a bit of will power and effort and it's a LOT more complicated than that. You're doing great!

A lot of thin people feel hungry and struggle to stay thin which is why it upsets her and why she resents it. It doesn’t make it ok but weight and the control of weight is an huge issue for many thin people as well as many fat people.

It was not prescribed by her GP. I think he just endorsed it.

I pay for it privately through a reputable private clinic , and in a nutshell its been incredible.

According to the OP she’s getting it through some kind of private clinic,
and many private clinics are well known for making it available for those with a BMI less than 30.

I love the fact that his new friends were bemused !! So pleased for DS - I didn’t lose my weight til year 8 - wish I’d lost it in year 5

I was going to be totally on your side

Until i read this:- 'I've always been confident despite my different weights but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked , and it seemed to REALLY annoy her'

This gives ick. This choice of words is a psychologists wet dream

It reads that you garner some type of enjoyment from this. Maybe if you celebrated your friends more, they would celebrate you right back back.

@Jumell Thank you. It's been hard as he's still a bit self conscious but he's slowly realising that the weight is gone, and is very unlikely to come back. He got a bit chunky about half way through year 7.... but I think that was a combination of the school canteen's pizza slices and 'cake stand" and the fact that he grew about 4 inches between April and August of that year! And he certainly wasn't fat at the time. I'm sorry you still struggled into high school. Kids can be so mean.