Mounjaro offending close "friends"

[Hope78]

I have bitten the bullet and started using Mounjaro. I pay for it privately through a reputable private clinic , and in a nutshell its been incredible.

Long story as short as poss.... I'm a well built 5ft7 woman who has been anything from 10st to 13.7st over years , ideal weight 11st happy and feel good, have gone into perimenopause , started HRT and basically CANNOT shift stubborn 2st. I told my GP my plans and he agreed as BMI verging on obese (13st4) .....decision was 6 months in making with a LOT of research before starting it ....anyway ....

I have lost my first half stone ( in 10 days ) and with close friends at the weekend told them i was on the injection and how great i feel ( not just food noise but ADHD symptoms better too ) my friends were so happy for me bar one who could not hide her disgust. This person has a stunning figure, always been a petite size 8, always attracted a lot of male attention, and has been known to be quite fattest over the years to anyone chubby. She basically said it was cheating, said i would be fatter long term and i know that behind my back is slagging me off ..
I've always been confident despite my different weights but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked , and it seemed to REALLY annoy her she has stopped messaging me as much and has declined Xmas invites for drinks at mine.
Its got me thinking that this injection is a real shift long term for men and women , but psychologically its maybe pissing off people that don't struggle????
Another friend was shocked i even told people but im not that sort of person , I'm an open book and chatty and don't see the point ? maybe i should have just kept my mouth shut ? AIBU to feel shocked and disappointed by this ?

@Vaxtable

"we don’t know enough and some horrible side effects are now been discovered so whilst I am overweight it’s not for me, and yes I do think it’s cheating in a way, and what happens when you get to goal weight? Do you have maintenance diesels so in fact you are on it for life?"

Which side effects that have only just been discovered are you thinking of here? Can you explain who is being cheated and what are they being cheated out of?

Reaching goal weight is the same as for any other weight loss approach, you need to transition into maintenance. That's difficult no matter how you've lost weight, and traditional approaches like WW, SW, etc don't have a better track record on maintenance. They like the repeat customers, for starters. Some people might need to take a maintenance dose for a longer period of time, perhaps indefinitely. I don't see that as problematic.

If it is cheating then so is hiring a personal trainer, having a gym membership or not having treats in the house.

Your friend is lucky she can control her weight without jag. But she is not friend at all if she would cut you off over it. She isnt even showing concern about side effecfs just distamced herself. Good riddance.

So in her eyes, taking medication for anything must be "cheating".

No one is ever able to answer on this thread why 'cheating' in this context is bad anyway. We do loads of things to 'cheat' in life to save time and effort and make our lives easier, but weight loss seems to be the only one that offends people in some way.

Personally I'm not really bothered when someone who is either bitter about being stuck overweight or has 'being thin' as their main personality trait thinks it's cheating. I'd rather 'cheat' than be fat. And now I'm not fat and it makes no difference how I got there, I look great, feel great, and that's all I care about.

How is it cheating? Go on... explain your reasoning. The lifetime maintenance thing is bollocks - you continue to eat less/maintain your calorie count and exercise.

But if you see it as cheating, you must see it as a competition. Why? What’s the prize?

The fact that it pisses people off makes my mounjaro weight loss all the sweeter for me.

If being ‘naturally’ thin is all you’ve got to be proud of, perhaps you need to re evaluate things.

You do realise that people have been taking these drugs for years .. they aren’t a new invention.

Stroke, Heart Disease, Diabetes etc .. are all PROVEN side effects of being overweight

So I’ll look to reduce actual risks, not panic about the mythical ones

I find the cheating thing really weird, I don't know why anyone is that bothered about what other people do anyway. My ds is t1 diabetic, is he cheating by taking insulin? No, because it's for a condition that would negatively affect his health and isn't his fault, presumably. OK, what of obesity then??

I think that's the crux of it, people think anyone overweight is lazy and gluttonous and it's self inflicted.

I'm on long term medication for a condition which, uncontrolled, would probably have killed me by now, but the medication keeps me alive and well. Am I cheating?

These injections have exposed a really ugly truth about a lot of people. Jealousy, bitterness, and an evangelical fervour about the so-called morals of people living with obesity, as if we are all sinners who don't deserve forgiveness. I find it pretty shocking tbh.

Especially when the science is in - obesity is a dietetic disease the same as cardiovascular disease, hypertension, cancer, and diabetes. It's just that fat people look yucky.

I'd just ignore her, I realise this might be hard to do but it's none of her business and her reaction or thoughts are all to do with her, not you.

I don't find it at all shocking. There is privilege and currency to thinness, and that's being eroded. Naturally, some of the previous beneficiaries aren't happy.

It is funny though.

I lost weight in 2019 and wasn’t massive - size 12/14 down to a 10. Felt so good and happy. I lost a couple of friends who hated my perceived change of status.

i then put weight on in 2022-24 due to stress triggering comfort eating etc and I’m in my 40s. Previous method of weight loss didn’t help and so I’ve started mj. I’m telling no one. My dh and one friend who is on it and recommended it are all who know. I love it - it’s not a magic wand but makes it easier to follow a diet. I still put effort in. I want to feel healthier again and this is an effective tool. People can be arseholes though.

You'll be torn apart for this, but I agree with a lot of it. I looked into it and ruled it out after speaking to doctors.

I believe it's far too easy to acquire, and there aren't long-term studies on its use solely for weight loss.

There is no cheating here. Who are you in competition with to be "cheating" at it.

You are entitled to take care of your health in whatever way works best for you. She doesn't get to have an opinion on that.

I agree with a PP. She probably likes having a "fat" friend, it makes her feel better being the thin one. It's not so much you "cheating", it's her feeling threatened that she won't be the slim one any more.

I am also on Mounjaro, primarily for diabetes but with the much needed side effect of shifting a lot of weight. I wish you luck OP.

Let's replace some words and see if the statement still works applied to anything else in life...

"I have never bought a washing machine but I think about it all the time, have to exercise extreme self-control to wash my laundry by hand. It does seem pointless when everyone can just cheat and get a washing machine. Actual effort counts for nothing now."

or

"I have never used a train but I think about it all the time, have to exercise extreme self-control to walk 20 miles to work every day. It does seem pointless when everyone can just cheat and get a train. Actual effort counts for nothing now."

People are obsessed whether consciously or unconsciously with status
Being thin and beautiful confers high status in our society whether right or not
She has benefitted from this status and has (possibly unconsciously) enjoyed being 'higher status' in the world than you by being slender.
You have just cheerfully pulled that status rug out from under her (and good for you btw, i hope it goes brilliantly for you)
mountjaro/ozempic are in the process of ripping the 'thin is status' rug up and putting it in the dumpster
She doesn't know how to articulate this or possibly even comprehend it ('i enjoy being 'better' than her is hard for people to admit even to themselves)
She is lashing out in pain and fury
You should ignore her completely and continue what's best for you

Are you going to tell diabetics who are using it to lower their blood sugars to help prevent needing kidney transplants or dialysis, their lower limbs removed or going blind that they’re cheating? What a lovely person you are!

Eat the treats and have a bit of joy in your life. It might make you less bitter

Another one for the bingo card!

She’s no real friend if that’s how she’s acting. My husband is using mounjaro and has lost a significant amount of weight in just 6 weeks. I am nothing but supportive of him although I love him whatever his size, he’s struggled with his weight his entire life. I have always been slim and I’ll be honest I never really understood how much people actually really struggled mentally when it comes to food. My husband said to me think I how feel when I’m hungry and then imagine even after eating I still feel that feeling all day every day as that’s how he felt. Him saying that definitely made me think about how shit that must be all day, just thinking about food (obviously everyone’s experiences around food is different but that was his).

I don’t think using the jabs is cheating at all, it’s a medication. Medication is there to help people and like a lot of medications you still have to make some lifestyle changes. For instance if you are on heart medication you would hopefully be looking at your heart health and a good diet to go along with it. I see no difference with this.

I must admit, I've told anyone that will listen. I do love to enthusiastically challenge a misconception though.

I've had years of it with Type 2 diabetes ("you shouldn't be eating that piece of chocolate" - yeah, not how it works love but bless you for thinking you know the ins and outs of my condition, which is unique to everyone with it, better than I do). I'm sure my eyes must light up when someone comes out with an opinion on my medication that is BS 😆

Congrats!

Honestly, these online pharmacies seem to be a law unto themselves. They always have been, but I've never seen such demand for a drug that your GP won't give you.

I just feel sad, that these drugs have evidenced the competition some women feel towards other women.

that some women secretly feel smug about maintaining a healthy weight, feel superior to their fat friends. Look down on them. Pity them.

that some other women, resent other women losing weight when they can’t take the drugs, be it due to money, fear or whatever the truth of it is.

‘that they can’t be happy for others, they compete. They attack. They think about it only in terms of what it means for them. Will they be the only fat person left behind. Will everyone now be slim like them. Their only advantage gone?