Mounjaro offending close "friends"

[Hope78]

I have bitten the bullet and started using Mounjaro. I pay for it privately through a reputable private clinic , and in a nutshell its been incredible.

Long story as short as poss.... I'm a well built 5ft7 woman who has been anything from 10st to 13.7st over years , ideal weight 11st happy and feel good, have gone into perimenopause , started HRT and basically CANNOT shift stubborn 2st. I told my GP my plans and he agreed as BMI verging on obese (13st4) .....decision was 6 months in making with a LOT of research before starting it ....anyway ....

I have lost my first half stone ( in 10 days ) and with close friends at the weekend told them i was on the injection and how great i feel ( not just food noise but ADHD symptoms better too ) my friends were so happy for me bar one who could not hide her disgust. This person has a stunning figure, always been a petite size 8, always attracted a lot of male attention, and has been known to be quite fattest over the years to anyone chubby. She basically said it was cheating, said i would be fatter long term and i know that behind my back is slagging me off ..
I've always been confident despite my different weights but i did get a lot of compliments especially from other husbands of how well i looked , and it seemed to REALLY annoy her she has stopped messaging me as much and has declined Xmas invites for drinks at mine.
Its got me thinking that this injection is a real shift long term for men and women , but psychologically its maybe pissing off people that don't struggle????
Another friend was shocked i even told people but im not that sort of person , I'm an open book and chatty and don't see the point ? maybe i should have just kept my mouth shut ? AIBU to feel shocked and disappointed by this ?

You sound jealous...I commented earlier I was doing 1300 calories a day for the last 6 mths and I lost nothing, went on saxenda ans have lost 1.5 stone, I can't explain the reason why as as far as I know it only suppresses your appetite and doesn't actually make you lose weight but it's worked and I'm delighted. Just be happy for people that it works for and stop sounding bitter xx

The poster has nothing to "admit". To you or anyone.

Comprehension is your friend here. A pp, just a few posts ago, outlined why it’s easier to address the issues one has with food whilst food noise is silent. But you don’t really want to listen to those using the drug, do you? You just want to stick with your incorrect opinions.

I'm done wearing a hair shirt, frankly. I've beat myself up far more than anyone on mumsnet ever could.

Goodness, you need to get some self control. It is none of your business why she wishes to use the drugs, and she doesn’t need to admit anything.

maybe take a step back, if you’re so consumed by envy and resentment you’re lashing out on line, then best to step away.

Op, please come back when you're at your target weight and tell us how raging she is

I honestly think, someone who is reacting like this has probably had some kind of eating disorder. I have struggled with eating disorders in the past. Fixated on being small and thin to the extent that being small and thin becomes part of your persona. I think the obsessive compulsive thinking that comes with an eating disorder - would be hugely triggered by the introduction of these weight loss injections. The thinking would be 'I have struggled obsessively and to my detriment to be this size and yet you haven't and now you get a 'magic wand''. It is madness thinking but I can see how it happens.

I am not suggesting at all these injections are in reality a magic wand. But that could be thoughts they are triggering. And being a small, thin person - you wouldn't qualify for them, so you can't (easily/legally) just jump on that bandwagon yourself. So you have to continue with the long hard slog that is staying small and thin whilst you see others waving the magic wand.

I am no longer a small thin person and my eating disorder days are (thankfully and touch wood) behind me but I can recognise that sort of thinking.

I think it also doesn't help the amount of press coverage it is getting - and the suggestion that half of Hollywood etc. is on it. There is no doubt that there is a section of society (the privileged rich elite) that have access to this drug when they don't meet the prescribing criteria. So the already rich and beautiful are now getting thinner and thinner. You can see it - Robbie Williams, for example always a little 'chubby' but not fat is now almost emaciated and he openly says he takes the injections.

I think, we are conditioned to believe thin is the ideal and thin people are 'doing life better'. Let's be honest clothes look better on skinny people.

Resentment arises when some people are seemingly achieving this easily.

I think it also doesn't help the amount of press coverage it is getting - and the suggestion that half of Hollywood etc. is on it.

You see people on here speculating about which celebrities have “been at the Ozempic”, as if it’s a body fat version of Botox.

This. You said it much more eloquently than I did 😀 (careful though, apparently only obese people are allowed to be triggered by anything to do with body image/weight loss)

I think that's a really unfair comment in reply to a very thoughtful post. We are talking about people who seek to deny life changing healthcare to others so it's quite hard to sympathise especially when their objections to obese people taking the drugs are so irrational. Framing it as sufferers of eating disorders lashing out in misdirected anger at people who aren't harming them or threatening them in any way does help to make it make a very twisted and terrible sense. It is still really awful, however, to try to stop others from accessing medication for which they meet the criteria and fund themselves and I think it's ultimately indefensible. But I can see it might stem from mental illness for some of those who are so very bitter about it.

@MiamiWindMachine it seems pretty obvious that a lot of Hollywood is on it. People suddenly looking the thinnest they have in years. Simon Cowell, Robbie Williams, Sharon Osborne, Meghan Markle etc.. Yes the weight could have just dropped off but I doubt that. I have wealthy expat friends and they told me that their whole circle is taking them, it is pretty easy to get hold of from private doctors you only really have access to if you are wealthy.

I do think a lot of the vitriol towards those on ozempic/mounjaro is based in a misconception of how it actually works. Som people seem to think it melts away your fat all on its own, while you sit on the sofa eating KFC. It does not work like that. It just stops you wanting to eat, it's like extra willpower. When you then eat smaller portions, and don't snack, you start to lose weight, just like how "normal people " lose weight.

If you are very fat like me, and you go into calorie deficit, you lose weight faster, because your body burns lots of calories hauling your fat around. As you get lighter, you need fewer calories. This is not rocket science.

Incidentally, I don't believe the already-skinny celebs are using these injections. I think most of them are on the amphets and the snow, just like always, but saying, "ohhh it's ozempic" covers up the drug use.

But being triggered due to mental illness surrounding your body weight or food, doesn’t justify attacking others as they can take drugs you want.

But we aren’t talking about rich ex pats, we’re talking about people having access to it here in the UK. And from what I see on the fb support group I belong to, all sorts of people are using it, from all sorts of socioeconomic groups. Some pay with companies that let you spread the cost, lots are struggling to scrape the money together each month but are doing it because it’s literally life saving.

Anyone who's upset that they're currently too thin to qualify and have to work instead of take a pill has the option to stop doing that work until they hit the relevant BMI.

@Alltheunreadbooks

Why do you need the quick fix drug if you know the psychological reasons why you are overweight , know about healthy eating and are exercising? Surely you would lose weight naturally?

Just admit it, the jabs are quicker and easier and you can afford them.

While I'm happy to admit using the jabs is easier, I think it's important to note the reason I am overweight isn't because I'm stupid. I know all about nutrition and weight loss. What I absolutely cannot do is apply it to my life.

I'm a fat greedy bastard, so what? I still don't see why 'thinner' people have an issue.

I was just commented on why I think you get some negativity from 'thin' people. If you are naturally thin and don't ever have to work at it, I can't see that you would care one way or the other. I think the 'vitriol' comes from those who have massive food issues themselves. Their 'food' noise is as loud as yours is (trust me). To see a 'miracle' weight loss cure that only 'fat' people can use is triggering for this type of person.

I have been over my own eating disorder for years. Yet still all this talk of weight loss injections is triggering for me at times. When the jeans feel tighter, when you see an awful photo of yourself. Then everywhere you look and read these injections are being talked about which make you no longer care about food...

I didn't say it did (in fact I have said the exact opposite upthread - the woman in OPs post was being a dick). But a lot of comments on here have basically been 'if you've been a size 8 all your life then you have no right to have any feelings about this drug, because obese people have had a shit time being fat, whereas youve only had a shit time being size 8.' Without recognising that that person might have had an equally shit time staying at size 8 and may find all the chat about this drug very triggering.

See my post just below this. For what it's worth, I suspect that none of those people who lash out seek to deny the treatment to obese people - but are instead critical of it, see it as cheating etc. Irrational, but understandable.

I think maybe we are talking at cross purposes. I accept it might be triggering, I don’t think anyone disagrees with this, the point I was making is triggering or not, lashing out on line or in person, at others is unacceptable. It is jot a justification. If you’re triggered stop reading rhe thread, move on. Don’t haunt it goading people. ( you as in one, not you)

samw as ops friend, if she’s triggered as she now sees her fat friend get slim due to drugs, she should shut up and deal with her own issues.

It isn't understandable. And a lot of people are very keen to see the drug being denied to those who use it. They hope to shame people off it, they gleefully anticipate terrible side effects and awful health consequences, they salivate at the prospect of former fatties regaining the weight and cross their fingers for the drugs to fail and be withdrawn. And if that doesn't happen, they want to make sure they hurl as much criticism and vitriol at the users as possible to try to puncture some of the relief and respite obese people are getting to experience.

Ultimately, people have to realise that becoming obese isn't enjoyable and that people who have reached that BMI of 30 or above have suffered and struggled along the way. Anyone resenting them getting help now because they themselves have and still are suffering is just so wrong and it isn't something I can understand. I have plenty of compassion for everyone suffering from disordered eating - those whose eating disorders result in thinness and those of us whose eating disorders have led us to obesity - so I am not unsympathetic to these women and I would hope they get help. I'd never want them to suffer more just because they're slim and I feel jealous of that or bitter that I've struggled too but not been able to maintain thinness. So to see that kind of negativity and poison aimed in my direction and the direction of other people on these jabs is something I can't ever understand.

Without recognising that that person might have had an equally shit time staying at size 8 and may find all the chat about this drug very triggering.

The lack of recognition is going in the other direction. We can all recognise and acknowledge the pain of dieting and trying to maintain a thin body, whether we have done it successfully or not - that struggle is a shared one. The only possible way the chat about the drugs can be triggering is if you refuse to acknowledge that obese people have suffered and struggled too.

If a person understands that everyone has been drowning in diet culture and some people have managed just about to stay afloat while others have sunk, they wouldn't carp and moan about those going under receiving a lifeline - even while they're still paddling. You only get triggered by it if you believe they've been relaxing on a lilo with a drink in their hand while you've been gasping for breath. The refusal to accept that this isn't the case is the problem here, and that's what is triggering these posters. They need to look around and see what the rest of us see- everyone in the discussion has had a hard time and those whose health has been compromised are now getting medication in response to that. And anyone who objects to the provision of that healthcare because it triggers them needs to address that issue in themselves.

No we're not talking at cross purposes - I agree with what you say, it's not ok to lash out, even if you're triggered.

"The lack of recognition is going in the other direction. We can all recognise and acknowledge the pain of dieting and trying to maintain a thin body, whether we have done it successfully or not - that struggle is a shared one. The only possible way the chat about the drugs can be triggering is if you refuse to acknowledge that obese people have suffered and struggled too." This is simply not true. Somebody further down actually said "How fucking dare" somebody who is size 8 be triggered by the existence of these jabs, because they couldn't possibly have had a shit time and have disordered thinking around body image/dieting, because they had been successful in maintaining that size.