To think 11 year old stepson is disrespectful

[Anon171880]

I've been with his father for 3 and a half years and we also have a child together. I've also got other children from previous relationship.
More recently his son has become more and more disrespectful towards me, rude, ignores me, even kicked me before.
His dad tells him off but it doesn't really make much difference.
I struggle to get along with him as he is just rude. Gets excluded from school with no consequences, told my younger children to f off when they went into their bedroom because they were annoying him.
Poured water on his 2 year old brother's head because he put beans on his phone!
But if I say anything about the way he is or tell his dad that I don't want to watch him whilst he's working if he's just going to be disrespectful then it starts an argument.

To add, I'm not trained in psychology but I've done tons of parenting courses, because that is what parents of autistic DC are expected to do. Has your partner been on many?

Sorry OP, I've tried to edit my post as I've mixed you up with another thread when in comes to your childhood. But you can't say an older half brother is fine, you don't know how he really feels about the situation. As I've said, my advice is that Dad needs to prioritise DS. I know how hard it is with DC with SEN, it is a full time job. He needs to be ploughing his energy into his child.

Well I do have a degree in Psychology so have studied child psychological development. I also have three autistic boys. My mum started new relationships and got pregnant twice after having me. There was no stability at all. It was bloody awful having to live with these blokes as well.

Anyway, to the OP situation. From what you say, I still think your DH is still being too apathetic about this. He should be insisting the child is with him and not his grandparents. An 11 year old should not be able to choose where they live but then I don’t blame him for not wanting to live at your house. He’s the odd one out and he knows it.

@Sweatinginthecold 😆 my parents are still married and very much together.
And yes like I said we were seeing eachother before we got together, also I wasn't pregnant for 9 months, I had a extremely premature baby.
Was it planned no, but do I regret my boy no.

DSS loves having a little brother and would love another sibling!
My trauma btw was nothing to do with my parents or my family!

Moving out isn't really an option right now!

@KitsyWitsy I also have a degree in Psychology.

We don't yet have a diagnosis but it's a broad spectrum, autism isn't a one size fits all.

But I have spoke with partner about all the advice given in this post and he is going to get onto the school again about their thoughts and feelings surrounding SEN.

This weekend he is also planning on sitting down with his son and having a real, good conversation.

I CBA with the back and forth now, you've got your opinions, I have mine.

I can't go into all the details and ins and outs because that's not my business to share but given the circumstances his dad has tried to have more responsibility.

Cheerio.