Sick of ignorant people re my religion

[Loisep]

I’m married to a Dane. We met in London at university. We have a great relationship but the ignorance from his friends, family and acquaintances is almost too much to handle.

I am half Indian and was loosely raised Sikh. I think the UK does quite well in comparison to other countries re education on religion. Most Brits do not naturally assume I am Muslim.

That is not the case when I am in Denmark. God forbid I have a beer with new people. “Oh is that not halal?” Blah blah. I end up feeling guilty saying no I’m not Muslim all the time. Like I am distancing myself. I knew there would cultural differences but I never expected such ignorance. So many people think brown people = Arab (in Europe).

Dh wants to move back home and I would if it wasn’t for this extreme ignorance. I worry for future kids.

Am I the one with a chip on my shoulder? Should I just accept that people from other countries have been exposed to different cultural groups? Ie not had an Indian diaspora

If you're not aware of the recent history of Denmark and Islam you need to do some research.

I think that you hit the nail on the head with your last point. Denmark doesn't have the links with India that the UK does. Not their fault and at least their ancestors didn't slaughter loads of yours like the Brits did.

Ffs, where are you from?

What do you mean?

Are you British?

Why should the OP have to research any history of Denmark and Islam? She is not Muslim.

Yes

So you go to another country and expect people there to understand your religion that they know nothing about because it's not part of their culture? Very unreasonable. The world does not revolve around you.

What a bonkers interpretation of the situation. Even if the Danes don’t have a south Asian diaspora as part of their culture, I would still expect anyone with basic education to know that not all brown people are Muslim.

Sorry, now I've stopped laughing at this ridiculous rubbish, I would suggest you examine the history of the Danes.
I get sick of the racist comments re Britain, colonialism was wrong but, for the the simple people on MN and there are plenty, most European countries had colonies, Google it!

OP isn’t Muslim but if she’s going to consider living in a country where people consider her Muslim then it’s in her interest to know what Danish people think about Islam.

If you are thinking of moving to Denmark and this has been your experience to date I’m not sure whether it’s about whether you ‘should’
accept it but whether you are willing to live in that environment. I can’t imagine it’ll change overnight (ever?) so it’s a question of whether you can live with it, surely, not whether you should have to

No the OP expects people NOT to assume she's a certain religion because she's brown skinned.

It's not unreasonable to expect people to understand that not all brown people are Muslim.
If I am going to be completely honest, when I lived in the Middle East and mixed in the expat community, the most openly racist people I encountered were Danish people. It shocked me as Denmark as a reputation as being a laid back country. The first time I heard a racist remark from a Danish person, I thought it was a one off but it happened several times over the years.

You're not being unreasonable. I lived in Denmark and was very surprised at the Danish lack of awareness of other cultures. It's because they're a largely secular population with Islam probably being the only major world religion aside from the church of Denmark that they have in any significant numbers, but it is quite jarring as a Brit to see how utterly nonplussed they are about their own ignorance when as a whole they're a very educated population.

As a non-Dane, non-Sikh, multi-backgrounds person who can use the laptop calculator on the fly and probably make mistakes:

Danes probably won't know much about Sikhs and will seldom or never encounter one. Number of Sikhs in Denmark? Three web hits say 800-1500 in 2015, 5000 'now' and 4000 'now'. Total population close to 6 million. 0.05% or so Sikhs?

UK: Over half a million Sikhs. 0.8% or so of the population. Of course there is a shared history, exhibition earlier this year at the Wallace on Ranjit Singh, 11 Sikh MPs in the Commons and so on.

Denmark? Not that for sure. However, the first academic paper that came up (from 2011) has a strange title and an odd ending to the abstract on 'how to be Sikh in the "right" way'.

The Sikh Community in Denmark: Balancing between Co-operation and Conflict - Aarhus University

I think I'd prefer to be Sikh in the UK.

I think a lack of awareness of a stranger's religious requirements is not really unreasonable. I think making assumptions about what someone's religious requirements are is pretty damn rude and making those assumptions based on skin colour, even if well meant is outstandingly rude.

There are loads of sikh's here in the UK. We learned all about them in primary school and secondary with my DS. My friend from work was Sikh and I learned all about her religion from seeing her talk to her Sikh friends on facebook. It seemed nice. I understand that they like to feed people in their Gurdwara, which seems like a nice thing to do.

I can understand that Danish people might just have no idea about them if they don't have very many.

In Glasgow we have so many that the bus company made special turban covers with the bus company logo on it. I thought that was nice.

Danes won't know. I am quite sure the Danes are not that rude but most likely not very informed of India or Shik.
Religion doesn't play a big part in every day life in Denmark. Future children will do fine.

OP - the way I recognise Sikhs is by their turbans, but ladies don't wear those do they. Is there any clear physical sign of a Sikh woman?

Calm down. The Danes didn't colonise India so don't have those historic links was my point, not a general discussion on colonialism.

Sorry to hear this OP, so you're London based now and he wants to move back to Denmark? I think you're far better off in London. I know it's a hard sell for quality of life and for expenses but what you sacrifice for space and money will give you probably better community/friendships/less casual racism and general twattery.

I don’t know very many Japanese people but I’ve been taught well enough to not assume every Japanese person I come into contact with is Buddhist. I would hope everyone was being taught similar in 2024.

I don’t mind people being ignorant to Sikhism. It’s the immediate assumption that I am Muslim. On one visit I must have been asked “are you Muslim?” 10+ times in one day.

Danes don’t teach a lot of religion in state schools. You could easily miss out on Sikh or Japanese Buddism.