Sick of ignorant people re my religion

[Loisep]

I’m married to a Dane. We met in London at university. We have a great relationship but the ignorance from his friends, family and acquaintances is almost too much to handle.

I am half Indian and was loosely raised Sikh. I think the UK does quite well in comparison to other countries re education on religion. Most Brits do not naturally assume I am Muslim.

That is not the case when I am in Denmark. God forbid I have a beer with new people. “Oh is that not halal?” Blah blah. I end up feeling guilty saying no I’m not Muslim all the time. Like I am distancing myself. I knew there would cultural differences but I never expected such ignorance. So many people think brown people = Arab (in Europe).

Dh wants to move back home and I would if it wasn’t for this extreme ignorance. I worry for future kids.

Am I the one with a chip on my shoulder? Should I just accept that people from other countries have been exposed to different cultural groups? Ie not had an Indian diaspora

Tbh I think people ask because they know Islam. They can't ask if you are Sikh as it wouldn't be a religion most Danes know about.

I mean my brothers would probably self-identify as Sikh but neither of them have turbans and neither does my dad.

There are religious articles of clothing that Sikhs are supposed to wear (5 k’s) to mark them out as Sikh but many younger Sikhs will only wear one of the 5 (steel bracelet). You will find many Sikh women do not cut their hair.

I am not sure why they need to ask? I mean if the OP is having a beer then obvs they have decided to have a beer......

Yes, London based. We are wanting to move out of the city to get ready for kids.

I don’t really ever feel othered in the UK but I can’t say the same for Denmark.

They slaughtered loads of English instead.

I wouldn't move to Denmark as a white Brit. Norway, on the other hand...

Exactly!

Plenty of Indians are Christian. A bit racist to presume she is Muslim.

Because they want to talk to a person not being Danish? Don’t know.
I am quite sure they don’t do it to offend you.

OP, lots of people move to Denmark after marrying for love. I know three!

It’s a very distinctive culture that pretty much everyone loves once they’re used to it. Very welcoming.

But it’s not reasonable to expect strangers to know - or care - what religion you were born into whether you’re Danish or not, to be honest.

I mean I am very ambiguous looking. Depending on my tan I can look South American, Middle Eastern, Mediterranean, British etc. I obviously don’t expect people to be mind readers but there is a way to inquire about my background that is polite.

Most Danes wouldn't know.
Religion isn't a big subject at the Danish state schools.

I think you've sort of hit a perfect storm of a) a mono-culture b) a secular culture and c) the scandi directness. British people who don't know you wouldn't dream of asking your religion, it's not just because of better awareness, it's because asking someone outright about their religion is rude.

And that is why we should continue to teach RE. 👍

Absolutely! Ignorance is never good.

As a theologian I agree.
I studied at a Danish university for a while and Danes know next to nothing about religion.

I appreciate everyone’s experience is different, but amongst my friends/acquaintances/work colleagues religion does not come up in discussion at all.

im more likely to know what my friends favourite sexual position is than what religion they follow.

It’s fair to be frustrated about this. It is a shocking lack of awareness. Do you think it would help to turn the question around? When they ask if you are a Muslim, say, “No, why do you ask?” Once they’ve grappled with how to answer a few times, they might think before they speak. Sorry you are dealing with this.

Danes wouldn't consider it rude to ask. At all. More like an information like 'Any children? 'Profession?' 'Pets?' ...

Ah you’ve been drinking the anti British koolaid I see! What aspects of Britain, your country are you proud of?

If they don't care, why are they continually asking OP if she is a Muslim?

Have you heard of the Vikings?!

I suspect not!

Lots of things actually but stuff like Amritsar was a bit much, don't you think?

That’s not a bad thing imo. I think teaching of religion should be limited to helping interpret art that a person is likely to come across in the culture of their homeland and to understand the institutions of their country. Everything else is a personal interest of the individual