Wondering what others would do in this situation

[farmergirl15]

Person A told person B that their DC was poorly on a Thursday, their DC was off school for two days. There was a weekend away planned with a club.
Person B assumed person A's DC would not be attending as they hadn't been at school and said as much to person A. Person A rang Person B shouting so Person B hung up and informed person C who is in charge of said club. It was originally decided that person a's DC could attend as person a said that their dc wasn't poorly on the Friday, they were off for a family emergency. Then person C made the decision that person A's DC could not attend. Person B messaged person A to let them know and provided contact details for person c. Person A rang person C and shouted at them also.
Persons B and C feel that persons A DC should transfer to a different club, however Person B also feels that the DC shouldn't suffer because of Person A's behaviour.
So AIBU let the DC stay even tho person A has threatened volunteers of the club
Or AINBU transfer the DC out, nobody should be threatened especially when they're volunteering.
Person A and person B are acquaintances at school, person B and C are volunteers.

Oh, the drama caused by you, what a busybody!
Whatever you personally could or couldn’t do in this situation was of no concern.
Little Miss Perfect.

Im so confused by the style of posting so I might have missed this but...

How did you (person B) know what was wrong with the child and that it was contagious?

And was the parent lying about the family emergency or were you wrong and they didnt have a contagious illness?

I volunteer for the children, but hey yes, it's all about me, let them suffer!

by majority of fellow mumsnetters logic the answer would be yes

You don't get to make that decision for other parents though.

but some people wouldn't consider that and would still want them to go on the trip

no but then they have to consider the wellbeing of 40ish people instead

That's because you're looking at it from a privileged POV, where your DC only needs to be off school when they have a contagious illness. Lots of DC have conditions that mean time off school that are none of your business.

Person A was wrong
Person B is that typically toxic and judgmental volunteer.

You don't do it for the children, that much is clear. As others have said person C is well rid of the pair of you. If they haven't marked your card for your behavior in this situation, they are also a poor judge of character.

Sooo my son was off school on Thursday because he was ill - sore throat, bunged up. He did attend his football match today because he was better.

Things like this depend on the kid and the parents. I know when my child is ok to return to normal activities. Same way I know when he’s off.

Mind your own business.

Depends what kind of illness the child had and if they were feeling better by the Friday evening. Children can bounce back quickly and I can totally see how a child with a temperature Thursday morning may be better with a normal temperature on Friday morning, parents may have decided to keep the child off another day just in case as it’s not always obvious at 8am if child is well enough but it may have been clear by Friday afternoon the child was fine. Just because a child is off school doesn’t automatically mean they’re going to be unwell and contagious that evening. I think unless you knew the details of the child’s illness and knew for sure they were too unwell for the trip you shouldn’t have gotten involved, most illnesses are contagious before symptoms anyway so if the child was at the club Wednesday night chances are other kids going on the trip had already been exposed to the illness and that it would be going around over the weekend anyway! If I was Parent A I would be annoyed at you for getting involved, although obviously that still isn’t an excuse for being rude and aggressive on the phone. I do think you overstepped though as you have no idea whether the child was actually ill in the first place.

I don't understand why person B said anything? If my DD vomited or had a temperature Weds evening yes I'd keep her home Thurs and Friday as that's the 48 hours advised for infection control but if she d been well in herself Thursday and Friday of course I'd let her go on the trip and would be v baffled at someone making comment on it - I wouldn't yell at them but would definitely be 'wtf' about it. Now if the child was vomiting Friday morning (we don't even know what kind of 'sick' it was from the OP, some kids stay home with a head cold) I'd understand B being annoyed

Mum told me child was poorly both days, told me and several friends about emergency. Emergency was real. We didn't know if child was actually poorly or not, but if she was poorly we have to take everyone else into consideration.

but from a medical view, he may feel better but the bug will still be in the system and still contagious to others, eg covid as an example

All this person A B C makes me feel like I am back in school with a question like "there is a train travelling 1000 mph, 10 chickens get on in slough, 8 elephants get off in Reading. What time did the train arrive in london?"
The answer is Blue.

My brain literally shuts down. TLDR

So you didn’t even know if the child was poorly or not, you just decided the child couldn’t go in case? Why didn’t you ask the mum whether the child was poorly instead of just making a decision that the child couldn’t go? If the mum said the child wasn’t poorly I don’t see how you can decide the child was too ill to go without even having seen them!

I just personally couldn't send my child away when they'd been off school

Presumably if your child was ill at the beginning of the week and were off school on Mon & Tue, you wouldn't keep them off for the rest of the week if they were better? So I'd see this as a similar situation, they might have been off school Thurs & Fri but better for the trip on Saturday.

Obviously person A is still unreasonable for being verbally abusive to B and C. I would remove the child from the group for this reason, or at least give a firm warning about their behaviour.

This should have been solely between the parents of the unwell child and the club, no one else. I don't understand the need for the tension and the shouting either.

I agree. It's quite common to use Alice, Bob, Carol, Dick, and Eve in these situations.

So some of you support me and some of you really really don't, which is fair enough, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
In my view it's better to annoy one parent who keeps changing their story about an Illness than to annoy 35 parents and volunteers if/when they come down with the illness. Also if everyone had become ill it would have been a serious health and safety failure. There's a reason we do risk assessments and this will be going on the next one.

A B C I can't be bothered.

Why is there shouting though?

If it was a sickness bug then you are not being unreasonable, that takes 48 hours to get out of your system so they'd likely still be contagious on the Saturday. If it was a cough or similar then I'd say YABU because there's colds and coughs everywhere and wouldn't necessarily stop children taking part.

What does TLDR mean please?

That's what fake names are for :)