DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

[Rosettespur]

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

Your views are repellant

How pathetic

Clearly they are not.

I'm quite aware that anyone can be manipulative.

The OPs DD has the right to live in a home where she's not belittled or resented.

The OP has the right to decide when a relationship isn't working out, and could actually damage her relationship with DD.

The DD should come before any passing male.

The only manipulative person in this thread is the workshy, freeloading EX.

Well done OP!

Even if @Grammarnut 's repugnant views about children were true, and the OP's DD were a conniving arch manipulator (spoiler alert - she's not), it still wouldn't go anyway towards making this man a better partner. He paid nothing, contributed nothing, freeloaded, was unpleasant and made misogynistic remarks to boot!

OP you are well rid!!!

@Grammarnut has lots of evidence that children will do this. You are all very naive about children. Perhaps you believe Rousseau's description of children arriving in this world trailing clouds of glory? Children have to be socialised, they have to be guided and shown what good and empathic behaviour are. And yes, they can be bloody manipulative. Seeing it within my social group at the moment.
Sorry about that!

NB I agree about OP's partner, as it happens, he's useles. But the advice to never have a new partner in your life after a failed relationship that has produced children is hardly independence-affirming. On the contrary, it reinforces the stereotype that women should give up their lives, interests, loves and world to serve their children until said children allow them to have that life - or bugger off and leaver on her own.

DD will have good boundaries as a result. She has seen her mum take her side and be strong. She has learnt she doesn't need to take any shit from any man. Even if this particular incident didn't bother her, it will be filed away in memory and recalled years later when/if she needs it.

If the bloke had stayed on, the long term result would be her taking baby steps on eggshells. Not a good family life for her to have.

Well done OP, I think you did good.

In light of Grammarnut's comments on manipulative kids - I went back and reread the OP and all her posts. I see absolutely no evidence of manipulation from OP's DD. I just see a cocky freeloader man.

I did the same. The guy wasn't even paying rent ffs.

Too rash? I think this was well overdue.