DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

[Rosettespur]

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

It’s not, is it? And yet here we are.

DD heard me go in and correct him straight away and text me later to say thank you for standing up for her but she didn’t really care what he says.

Well I do believe in second chances for saying a stupid mean thing. But he has to know this is a one off.

Does he think she needs to be grateful for having clothes? What a guy.

How long ago did you move him in ?

That you know of.
And now he definitely has so the only question now is does he stay or go?

Kinda why I posted because it could have been badly timed but no apology? And to almost continue it suggesting I needed to apologise for overreacting? When I didn’t raise my voice or anything, merely clarified I had heard correctly

Been together 4 years, moved in about 18 months ago

How long has he been living with you both?

Fuck knows, but it’s put my back up and his further responses have really given me the ick

What does your daughter think of him?

No man at all sounds appealing right now, probably.

And it starts. Small digs.. Which become bigger. Ime.

Hmmmm I guess now you will be on your guard for any more comments when actually it should be him walking on eggshells cause he’s fucked up

OP you're seeing his true colours. A stupid comment with an apology is one thing but he's doubled down.

The first bit would annoy me but the “emotional women” joke would have me rethinking things. He sounds straight out of the 1950s

Give it a bit. When he said tired of emotional women he was likely projecting his being emotional over being corrected. Some people do a flounce like that because they get defensive when pulled up, but later come back with a genuine apology. The ‘just joking’ is a defence. I agree if he never apologises and always thinks he is right, you have a massive problem and he really shouldn’t have moved in.

How grateful is he, living in your house?

Does he pay for your daughter's clothes ?

I thought by being faded she meant they were getting old, not that it had anything to do with the laundry.

So it feels as if she needs more pj's - does he think he has to pay for these, does he resent her having clothes.

Did he not know he was planning to live with women? Did he not know he would have to be pleasant and considerate of the two women he was proposing to sponge off of? Why the irritation at having to deal with (ugh) women and their (ugh) opinions? Yes: he has to apologize. No:this should not be negotiable or some kind of surprise change in the rules.

Worse?? Or… better 🤔?

eta just saw your next post. Agree, seems like a good point to reconsider living arrangements.

I’d wait and see if he apologises of his own accord later. Forcing a “sorry I offended you with my joke” isn’t going to be genuine. If he doesn’t apologise on his own accord, then you know he’s a twat.

Men like this always show their true colours because their audacity outweighs their intelligence by a metric ton.

It always starts with sly digs, pass it off as banter, when you don’t find it funny, you are too emotional, so is your DD, don’t ask him to apologise when you are at fault.

Thankfully it has backfired in the twat’s face this time round. You’ve shown your daughter she deserves not to be treated badly in her own home. Lean into the ick and start the new year 13 odd stone lighter.

She really doesn’t care for him tbh. They seem to get on, she is always polite to him but they tend to rub along really

What a dick.

Sounds like someone needs a major attitude adjustment. And possibly somewhere else to live.