Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know his secret but how do I play this?

1000 replies

Waffletots · 08/12/2024 14:53

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

OP posts:
Ablar · 08/12/2024 19:25

Ilikeadrink14 · 08/12/2024 19:17

Oh Ablar, please get your sense of humour out of the box. Lighten up and try to enjoy the thread. It’s good, and if there are posts on there that you don’t like, skip them.

Wouldn't say there is anything good about this thread, but ok

Americano75 · 08/12/2024 19:25

MyPithyPoster · 08/12/2024 19:22

Yes, she’s an absolute Cunt. Never ever absolve her of her part in all this. Karma will get her in the end.

Who the actual fuck has an affair with a married man and then tells his wife as she's just about to give birth? I can't get my head round that sort of viciousness.

desperatedaysareover · 08/12/2024 19:25

Wow. Take care of yourself and your baby OP, what a dickhead he is to think he could do this to his wife and kids. At least you have proof so can’t be gaslit and tortured that way. Cold comfort but so many women are thrown into doubt by lies.

Ablar · 08/12/2024 19:26

LivelyMintViper · 08/12/2024 19:23

Go to OP's first post go to the bottom right corner and click see all. Then you will see only the OP posts but all of them without having to read through the responses from others. Then you can read all the info so far that she has provided and don't have to scroll through loads of pages

Yes I'm aware now. Thanks for actually saying it nicely rather than being a bitch about it like some

Cotonsugar · 08/12/2024 19:27

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I hope life gets better for you and your children🧡

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/12/2024 19:28

Sorry to read your latest reply and have the proof via messages /pic

I'm glad you have your family about to support you

No one wants to be a single parent , let alone while heaving preg

Thinking of you

MummyofTw0 · 08/12/2024 19:29

Oh gosh. I wish I could give you a hug. You poor woman. What a horrendous situation

cjcghana · 08/12/2024 19:29

Patienceinshortsupply · 08/12/2024 18:18

Jesus wept, some men never cease to amaze me.

Look after yourself Flowers

My thoughts exactly. We're with you OP

lemonlavendar · 08/12/2024 19:30

@Ablar
Please show some respect to the OP and her situation.
This thread is NOT about you.
Ssssh now

MyPithyPoster · 08/12/2024 19:30

Americano75 · 08/12/2024 19:25

Who the actual fuck has an affair with a married man and then tells his wife as she's just about to give birth? I can't get my head round that sort of viciousness.

I mean, there’s no good time to tell her.
But nobody told me until the baby was 2 and I’d managed to create far worse circumstances for us than I was in prior to giving birth, so I would’ve welcomed the news at that point rather than further down the line when I was in deeper.
But I think we can all agree she is a monumental Cunt

SerafinasGoose · 08/12/2024 19:30

Ilikeadrink14 · 08/12/2024 19:17

Oh Ablar, please get your sense of humour out of the box. Lighten up and try to enjoy the thread. It’s good, and if there are posts on there that you don’t like, skip them.

This is someone's life - one that's had a grenade detonated into it at just about the most vulnerable time possible. It isn't some third-rate soap opera.

Show a little tact, can't you?

Katherineryan1986 · 08/12/2024 19:30

I'm sorry to hear all of this @Waffletots . What a terrible time for the OW to have dropped this bomb.
Offering a hand hold and hope that this evenings confrontation was ok (as it ever could be) I'm glad you have family with you.

peachesarenom · 08/12/2024 19:31

I'm so sorry OP, I was sure she was lying!

ketchuporbrownsauce · 08/12/2024 19:32

Look after yourself - and your babies - there's no coming back from this ! Make him pay - and when 'it gets out' she will be an outcast being party to this deceit

Americano75 · 08/12/2024 19:32

MyPithyPoster · 08/12/2024 19:30

I mean, there’s no good time to tell her.
But nobody told me until the baby was 2 and I’d managed to create far worse circumstances for us than I was in prior to giving birth, so I would’ve welcomed the news at that point rather than further down the line when I was in deeper.
But I think we can all agree she is a monumental Cunt

No there's no good time, but blowing the OP's life apart so late in her pregnancy is especially wicked. I genuinely worry about the possible effect of so much stress on her and the baby.

Orange3344 · 08/12/2024 19:32

So sorry OP. Sending lots of support your way. You should be proud of yourself for the way you've handled it this far, and for setting an example to your children.

Legoandloldolls · 08/12/2024 19:33

I'm so sorry OP. He doesn't deserve you or your family. I hope he is as miserable as he has made you. Your worth so much more

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 08/12/2024 19:33

Americano75 · 08/12/2024 19:25

Who the actual fuck has an affair with a married man and then tells his wife as she's just about to give birth? I can't get my head round that sort of viciousness.

Actually, in the most perverted way, it could be argued she has done OP a sort of favour in that now she doesn't need to have him at the birth and taint her happy first moments with her new baby.

However, that doesn't make OW and SBXH any less than pond scum.

carly2803 · 08/12/2024 19:33

jesus christ i am horrified for you OP
38 weeks pregnant and this

at least you know now and now 10 years down the line . your kids with adjust and eventually so will you. Bloody hard though.

i hope he had the decency not to deny it

Coopee · 08/12/2024 19:33

Waffletots · 08/12/2024 17:17

Thanks everyone for all of your input, a few minutes after she sent the last message she did indeed send (a lot) of screenshots including messages from an app I don’t recognise, emails, many selfies of them in various places and a few of them they look like they’re lying down in bed looking very pleased with themselves.
I’m heartbroken, I don’t know how he could do this to our family. I’ve been such a fool for toddling along like life was perfect when all this time he’s been sticking his penis is another woman and not thinking about us! I hate him for this, truly. I’ve called my brother and sister in law to stay with me tonight, they will be here before he arrives home, I didn’t tell them much but it was clear I was upset.
I plan to have a bag packed for him and forward him all the messages when I hear him pull up outside. For me, the trust is gone and it’s over for good, I could never go back now after such a betrayal.

You are a QUEEN. Hold your head high and stick to your guns. This is his loss to bear and he will go through many personality changes while he rages at being caught out. (I too have experience of something similar😞).

Above all be kind to yourself. None of this is your fault. Stay strong for your son and new baby.

Thinking of you tonight. 🌸🙏

SlightlyJaded · 08/12/2024 19:34

Everything has already been said but I'm just another one who will be thinking of you tonight and across Christmas. I truly hope your H treats you with the honestly and dignity that you deserve but I wouldn't put anything past men once they start following the 'script'.

What I will say is that you keep talking about shame and embarrassment - please do not feel any of those things. You have been a fucking honourable and loving wife - he has been cheating from before you even fell pregnant the second time - he is despicable and the shame is ALL HIS.

Better days ahead OP

StMarie4me · 08/12/2024 19:34

You have so many of us on here holding your hand OP. So glad you have your brother and SIL there. 💐

Ablar · 08/12/2024 19:36

@Waffletots im so sorry you're going through this and for my earlier comment. I really hope you and your babies are ok.

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 08/12/2024 19:37

SlightlyJaded · 08/12/2024 19:34

Everything has already been said but I'm just another one who will be thinking of you tonight and across Christmas. I truly hope your H treats you with the honestly and dignity that you deserve but I wouldn't put anything past men once they start following the 'script'.

What I will say is that you keep talking about shame and embarrassment - please do not feel any of those things. You have been a fucking honourable and loving wife - he has been cheating from before you even fell pregnant the second time - he is despicable and the shame is ALL HIS.

Better days ahead OP

Absolutely this ^

LadyoftheCheeses · 08/12/2024 19:39
Flowers
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread