I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

You are not a fool. Sadly people like him do not come with a warning stamped on their forehead. If he tries to justify himself or slither out of it ask him how he will feel when copies of all his texts messages and selfies are sent to his work, family and friends. You have nothing to be ashamed of . He on the other hand has plenty to be ashamed of. It won't hurt for him to panic wondering if you would actually do it! Weak, selfish man too stupid to know what he's throwing away. Have courage better days are ahead.

I'd send him a screenshot of what she's sent you. Preferably whilst he's still at work. See what happens next.
Likelihood is, if you leave it, she'll tell him you know.
She's trash, give her no further thought.
Deal with him, if you feel there may be any risk to your safety whilst he's still is realising that his world is about to change, immediately inform a friend and tell him you've done this.

Sorry that my message back to you was harsh - I know people genuinely make mistakes, I did too.

I think I just get mad when people on MN protect the OW. What she has done (specifically the timing of it on OP) is despicable - like others have said, she's probably not getting her way (he hasn't left) and decided to go nuclear at an extremely vulnerable time for poor OP. She could have targeted the husband directly, but has pulled the trigger on everyone. Selfish, prideful and a complete bitch in my view. Perhaps they deserve one another.

@Waffletots sending you all the love - you've done all the right things. So glad you have good family to rally around you. I agree, you don't want that scumbag around for the birth anyway, so best to tackle this head on as much as you can. Leave it to your DB though if it's too much.

What a bastard.
Message her back and say ‘oh not another one!’ then quietly leave him. What a twat. I bet you feel sick to your stomach you poor thing. So glad you’ve found out before wasting more time with him.x

I am so sorry you are going through this especially at this time of year and whilst pregnant. You seem to have excellent support, use it as much as you can. Don’t be embarrassed, this is his doing. You are doing all the right things.

OP truly awful, glad your brother in coming over to support you . How horrible just before Christmas , What a Bitch , I wonder what made her message you in the first place.
Do update us with his pathetic excuses & to obviously let us know your ok .

Oh OP, what a horrible situation to deal with, and heavily pregnant as well 😭 Glad you've got a plan sorted for this evening, you've got this.

I'm so sorry, OP

I wouldn't entertain a word from him.
Have your family member(s) waiting to hand him his bag and ask that he leave.

You need to decide what YOU want going forward. That may or may not be your marriage. And you get to take the time you need to decide.

And you don't have to have him in the delivery room if you don't want him there. It's a medical procedure for you and your baby. He has no rights in that regard. Remember that if you decide you don't want him there and make sure you let the hospital staff and family know.

You deserve so much better. AGain, I'm sorry.

Good grief. Calm down on the other woman. She may also have been fed a bunch of lies. Right now it’s about him and the op.

The child isn't there.

OP, I know you said you'd ordered an STI testing kit but is it worth getting a GP appointment tomorrow? I presume the tests / results would be available quicker.

@toucheee i dont think for one minute that she should stay with him. Where did i say that?
Im just saying that she is just as bad in all this and sounds a nasty piece of work whose clear intentions is to cause as much pain as she can to the OP.

I'm sure you'll be busy with your brother and SIL now but if you read this in time OP ...

Let your brother deal with him. Don't let him in.

Stay calm.

Give SIL the labour ward no. I'm sure you already have a hospital bag packed - tell her where it is.

Have a sweet tea or a light snack if you can.
Practice your breathing.
You have lots of people around you who love you to help you get through this.

Don't engage with him or the OW tonight. Concentrate on yourself and staying as calm as possible.

Maybe let brother tell your parents - you don't want to deal with the understandable immediate ranting and upset from them. Let everyone calm down before seeing/speaking to you x

I'm so sorry OP.

So many people have said this already but you are not a fool. Not at all. You sound extremely strong. I'm glad you have family with you tonight. Take care and be nice to yourself. Imagine what you would say to a friend who was going through the same thing, and then say those things to yourself.

So many of us here have been cheated on and betrayed. You are not stupid. Trusting someone and loving them does not make you a fool.

They can and do if both adults keep any animosity to themselves. I don't think it is helpful to post comments like this, the op has enough to contend with at the moment.

I'm so sorry op but I'm pleased you have undeniable evidence and that you have family coming to support you. Could you get your BIL to deal with him so you don't have to see him?

I am so so sorry OP, this has genuinely brought a tear to my eye. You're being so strong.

Don't blame yourself for anything, I'm sure (I know I have) plenty of us have gone through life thinking everything's perfect when in fact he's cheating. You'll get through this. This is all on him and he doesn't deserve you.

OP, I wish I could give you a big hug....
What a horrible shock, what a terrible thing to do to you.
So glad you have family to help. Xxxx

Posters are saying this isn't helpful right now. OP is already dealing with something traumatic, you don't need to twist the knife.

How awful for you. We're here for support if and when you need it ❤️

This is not true. Young children process loss differently.

What happens after a split is much more significant than the split - and the OP is clearly a capable woman who will support her children.

How are you helping the OP with this unsubstantiated nonsense?

Exactly. Read the room!

What an arse!! You trusted the person you are meant to be able to trust- don't feel stupid about that, the is the one who is a fool. Let your family support you and just take small steps. Ignore the comments about divorce and small children, my 8 year is thriving as she knows both of her parents love and support her even though we are divorced.