I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

Your post is heartbreaking, I'm so sorry to hear this is all happening to you right now.

Best thing to do, is to focus entirely on your beautiful self, your soon to be newborn baby and your little 3 year old.

You have all the control you need here, fully pamper yourself and do not allow that pathetic man ruin any part of this wonderful journey you are on bringing your new life into this world. Just remember, your love for this baby is greater than your feelings about him.

I do wish you lots of love, and hope these next few weeks do smoothly for you. Just shut him out entirely, he will only cause you pain that you don't need.

Good luck! Xx

Why do you keep hammering this point? OP must be feeling devastated enough right now without repeated comments that the divorce is going to damage her DC.

• Let your bro and sil deal with him and get him out. Don’t worry about a bag! Thats what shops are for
• make sure your hospital bag is packed and midwifery team advised. Nominate a new birthing partner if you feel that is what you need.
• delegate to your support network for you and dd.
• do NOT feel ashamed. You have done nothing wrong

This

I have literally no idea why you think this is helpful right now. This your stuff, it's irrelevant to the OP. Just stop it.

This.

So sorry OP. Sounds as though you have good family support. Just concentrate on yourself and your children for now.

Not helpful comments for the OP, but in any case the children are too young to remember their parents ever being together. The youngest isn’t even born yet !

My parents divorced and I’m fine. Please just stop. It reads like you’re trying to make this worse for the op.

Well that's hardly the OP's fault now is it??? She's going to be the one left picking up the pieces.

I'm so sorry to read this OP.. I'm glad you've got some support tonight. What an absolute shit he is

I think she has probably seen quite enough!

Toothbrush down loo before you pack too.

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your DC. ❤️

Try and find all papers dealing with his bank, pension and mortgage. Be ready to copy all messages he will send you and register phone calls. Tomorrow find a solicitor, change your will and your pension rights to your children.
Take care of yourself.

Sending you love and strength @Waffletots It's great you've got your brother and SIL coming over to support you and your DC is with your parents. You've got this - even in the midst of these awful revelations, you've made very good decisions. Try to eat something, or have some sweet tea 💐

Sorry to hear this. I think it's terrible timing on her part. She probably wanted to get in there before the baby was born. I can't imagine that she didn't know he was married. Good luck with the birth.

The best thing to do to if ever you are concerned about STIs is to get an appointment at your local sexual health clinic for screening.

No...none of this. She has evidence, no need for anymore.

Sending you a hand hold OP - I’m another who is just so sorry that you are in this situation. I echo the advice of some PP regarding letting your brother deal with this evening, and letting SIL know where hospital bag/midwife contact details are.

I also think it would be a good idea to call your midwife tomorrow if possible she/he could be an invaluable source of support to you over the next few weeks.

Wishing you every strength - you sound like a brilliant mum

That might be the case for your children but it isnt the case for every child 🤦‍♀️

Children are very resilient

You now have your evidence, so it's time to block the OW. I'm sorry that your husband is a cheating rat and that this huge bombshell has been dropped on you. Let your brother deal with your rat of a husband. You don't need to engage. Ask your brother to explain the situation to your parents. You need a good, strong support network around you. You are not obliged to allow your husband to be present at the birth of your second child. So think about who could be there for you. Yes, you will need to start planning to get your ducks in a row and possibly filing for divorce. I would actively do this sooner rather than later. Please be kind to yourself. You haven't been blind or stupid, you trusted the man you married. He is the one who has let you and your children down, not you. If he was unhappy in the marriage, then he should have had the guts to speak to you, not cheat. He's thrown his marriage away for a cheap thrill, and only has himself to blame.

Oh my lovely, what a bastard. Fuck him. Now concentrate on you and your lovely baby. Glad you have support in real life. We, re all behind you, shouting you on. X.

Sending you strength. You’ve got this.

This is truly awful, I have been through something similar myself . Stay strong, you will get through this and remember he’s the loser here !

Also, he should not be allowed at the birth. Please don’t feel pressured to have him
there.

Actually, no. Many psychologists believe that a parental divorce is easier for children of pre-school and early primary age than for those who are slightly older. When children are between 7 and 11, divorce can hit them hardest. But as PPs have said, it is much more important how the parents cope with the split than the age of the children.