I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

I wouldn't engage one jot with her other than elicit evidence. She's irrelevant. She could have been anyone.

If there’s any justice, the OW will be furious and they will both dump him. This POS deserves no one.

I’m so sorry, OP. I think you’re handling this like a champ, please don’t think you’re a wimp. You’re 38 weeks pregnant and have had your whole world turned upside down in less than 24 hours.

All the steps you’ve taken so far—seeking anonymous advice here while you process, sending LO to have a lovely time with GPs and requesting evidence—were the right moves. It sounds like you have a supportive family, a good job and you will be absolutely fine. He doesn’t deserve you.

Well of course, she’s completely blameless obviously.

Confronting him doesn’t make her desperate and downtrodden. Pretending it didn’t happen, hiding from it and saying she just fell out of love. Which is the oddest thing I’ve read. Does.

She's not married to OP and she's likely been fed a pack of lies by the husband. If it's true then the shit here is him. The only person who can break his marriage vows is him.

I'd tell your mum OP.
You need some love and support.

You don't know this. None of us does. It could be true or she could be a fantasist. This is someone's life. Show some respect.

This

This is awful. Let’s understand though that it takes two to tango. If she’s telling the truth she’s only telling you now because you’re pregnant and about to give birth - and this is all interfering with her plans to run off with your husband while knowing previously anyway he was married with kids.

You can’t stop someone from cheating but you can choose not to get involved with someone you know is in a relationship.

Her motives for telling you are not altruistic. She’s as much of a scumbag as he is if it’s true.

If she’s lying, what could be her motive. Did your husband turn her down. Did he get her in trouble at work. Is she completely mental and doing this because she’s completely mental.

We don’t know yet. Do you know her full name ? If so, check out her social media. Just don’t like any photos or anything daft. If she’s full of herself and stupid enough to get involved with a married man, she’s probably got something on her socials to give that away. Match up the dates she’s got dressy photos of herself and gushing about being out but no oned tagged - to dates your husband was out.

If she’s still communicating with you - ask her for proof - just say - can I see the chats you had , photos he’s sent etc.Ask her if it’s still ongoing or if she / he ended things. Be nice to her for now.

You also need to prepare for the fact they she may have told your husband that she’s told you. If she’s angry with him for ruining the life she had planned - well, she’s probably going to throw it in his face.

Olay it safe for now be calm until you know the full story, once you do …
If she’s telling the truth you have to decide if you want to try and save your marriage or if you want to leave.

If she can’t prove with certainty that her and your husband were indeed doing the deed you need decide with your husband what to do about things.

See how he acts. For now, take care of yourself and let things pan out.

It’s fairly obvious it is true.

Its a story we hear all too often. And only men do this - to their pregnant wives.

'Other women' are fed all kinds of stories and are often guilty of nothing more than being naive.

Another vote for telling a parent, and inviting that parent to stay with you tonight. Sending a huge hug OP.

You have done exactly the right thing asking politely for screenshots. I would not say anything to him before you have the evidence. He will lie.

Honestly just try to help the op, this focus on the ow helps no one.

if the screenshots prove it, maybe get your best friend/sister/brother to come to the house later? Once you’ve spoken to your husband, you might find all the adrenaline drains and you need looking after.

No advice. Just another voice so you know that you are surrounded by women who admire your strength and stand with you x

No OP needed strength to do what she needed to do.

I'd be tempted to get your dad to come and stay and your mum keep your toddler. Then encourage your h to get the fuck out for a few days - make it permanent.

Firstly, I’m so sorry that you’re facing this. But you really don’t need to face it alone, and shouldn’t feel pressured into doing so. Do you have a close friend/ relative that you trust implicitly? I’d ask them to act on your behalf and contact her, asking her for proof of her claims. If it’s true, she absolutely WILL have messages from him, that she can produce.
I don’t know what your financial position is, but get your ducks in a row, in case you need them.

You sound very strong sorry this has happened

Poor op, she's obviously reading the dreaded screenshots. I feel sick for her. I really hope she tells her parents so that she can have all the support she needs.

It would be easy to send screenshots that are fake though. She could put anyone in her phone as his name.

It means waste matter basically shit. I'm sure he'll be giving the @Waffletots lots of it when he's trying to lie his way out of things.

Yes it was a typo but I think it sort of works.

Totally agree with this, there is no shame in being cheated on. And the biggest concern for OP right now is to protect her own well being and that of her DC. It isn't about trying to look like the bigger person. She already is the bigger person. Cheaters are absolute scum.

So sorry op why do these shit men behave like this. It sounds like he’s got it all, a great job and income, lovely supportive wife, a toddler and one on the way. Why oh why do they risk everything. Risk ending up alone and skint.

In my office it’s common knowledge that one of the directors is shagging a female colleague. They don’t even try to hide it. He has three children under five, one with special needs. Just what his wife needs when she finds out, which she’s bound to 😡