I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

So sorry OP. You can be strong and get through this.

No , that makes it too easy for him!!! He needs to see the Odin he's caused other wise the children grow up thinking their mother caused the broken home!

He needs to be held accountable!

What an utter shitbag. I'm so sorry and really hope it's not true!

It’s unbelievable what men do to women all the time. We are very strong, stronger than them. You are about to have a baby. He has piled unbelievable stress on to you. The baby could be born early over this. I feel so angry on your behalf. Tell your mother please.

The only thing is ... she'll probably want 7 glasses..😭

*pain

If I was your mum, and you told me,I'd be there waiting for him, preferably with gelding tongs!

I think he persuaded the OW that they weren't having sex, it was a loveless marriage and he was going to leave and he loves the OW. I think OW believed him but when she found out that OP was pregnant OW realised he was a liar and was never going to leave.

So by telling OP it could mean OW thought she should know that her DH is a POS. Or that the OP will leave her DH and he will come running to the OW. In both cases it's not in OW's interest to lie.

But the OW may not remember the old adage that when a man chooses his mistress, he creates a vacancy.

Have a heart fgs - the OP has had a massively cruel blow at an extremely vulnerable time. She doesn't know whether she is on her head or her heels - her happy life has just been blown out of the water!!

It's called 'seeking advice'??? She has been reluctant to contact this woman which I think is completely reasonable in the circumstances, but she has messaged her now, so perhaps you could get off her case?

Why? What difference does it make? He can’t rewind time and he’s only going to be defensive or fake sorry. If he was really sorry, he’d have stopped when he found out his wife was pregnant.

I think it’s probably better all round to just ask him to leave and leave it at that. She can slate him to friends and family but I absolutely wouldn’t want to become the desperate, down trodden wife. He obviously thinks he’s a catch, he needs putting down a peg.

You'd let him off the hook? Without holding him to account for being an absolute shitbag? Seriously??? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Please talk to your midwife about all of this. Unfortunately you won’t be the first to need this kind of support. I was assaulted during my first pregnancy and my (amazing) midwife arranged for me to have a full Sti panel at the GP rather than having to go to the sexual health centre. She was an amazing support, I think they’ve heard everything and really know when they need to step up. It’s really important you have the testing done, not just for you and the baby but also the midwives delivering care.

My guess is that she is absolutely hopping mad when she hears that the lying man who says he's leaving his wife for her has actually fathered another child.
variations on "My wife doesn't understand me" and/or "We don't have sex"

Serves them both right, frankly (I mean the woman and the OP's husband).

I would ask for some info. Calm and polite. Getting into a battle with the OW is just a distraction from the real problem- him.

Thank you for deciding to tell me this.
Has anything happened to make you tell me now, other than finding out I'm expecting?
Does he know that you've decided to tell me?

Depending on the civility of her responses, I might even add:
As I'm heavily pregnant and have the welfare of my baby to consider, I'm going to try and deal with this as calmly as possible. If he doesn't know that you're telling me, I think it'd be better if it came from me, when I'm prepared and ready to handle this with family support in place for me, my child and the remainder of my pregnancy. I'd appreciate warning if there is going to be any confrontation.

It’s not just men that do this to women though. Women willingly do it to women too. There’s a woman involved in this who didn’t care about his wife either.

Good stuff @mauvish !!!

(Actually when we had a colt gelded, he had an anaesthetic first - but that's not needed for OP's husband, I think, as he has no feelings).

Sorry but this is terrible advice.

OP needs to use her knowledge of the affair as a lever to get him out of the house.

Blaming the break up on a loveless marriage just lets him off the hook.

She thought the marriage was over and he was leaving her. She’s found out the truth and told the wife. Whatever faults she has, the issue here is him,

So sorry this is happening to you OP. I agree with another poster, If your toddler is with your parents and you don’t want to leave the house tonight it might be worth seeing if a close friend can come and be with you. Once you’ve told him you know and he hopefully does the right thing and leaves, it’s going to feel very quiet in the house. Just trying to think ahead of the aftermath.

So sorry you are going through this op

Well wait and see those screenshots before you decide anything.

Why would the woman care? She’s not married. This is all the husband’s fault, he was the one who made the commitment to OP, not this random woman.

Excreta?!

Where did you read all that?

Obviously a type for et cetera.