I know his secret but how do I play this?

[Waffletots]

I have been married for five years to who I thought was a wonderful man, we have a child and one on the way.
Last night I received a text from his female coworker telling me that “she’s sorry to be that person…. But has been sleeping with me for nearly a year, he told me he would leave you” apparently she feels bad because another coworker “let slip” that my husband and I are expecting again in a few weeks time.
Now I haven’t even confronted my husband about this, it’s been easy as he left for work early this morning and will arrive home around 6pm. I feel sick at the thought of seeing him, could she be lying? I honestly haven’t seen any signs, he’s mentioned this woman a few times and mentioned she’s the office flirt but I didn’t think anything of it.
What should I do?! I’m scared to speak to my friends and family about this, what if she’s lying?!

How about:

Obviously that’s absolutely devastating to hear and I’m in a state of shock right now. I would appreciate if you could tell me how long it’s been going on for and when you have been meeting each other (because I genuinely have no idea).
Also, some evidence such as screenshots. Thank you (for letting me know, not for having an affair with my husband and soon to be father of our new baby).

I reckon he knows she's told you and that's why he went early and took his iPad and laptop. He's obviously not daft.
I'd ask her for proof so you're better armed for when you have to face him. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Take care of yourself

I was contacted in the same way. I thanked her for being honest and asked for proof so he couldn't deny it. She's was willing and sympathetic which I was thankful for. Some of it was lies but the proof was there in black and white - be prepared for more to come, the shit show that unfolded for me was so frigging unbelievable I actually didn't know who my husband was!! He told me very little of course, this is a classic affair denial tactic hence why you need proof or you'll be left doubting it all and possibly believing his story.

so sorry you’re going thru this - and thru this you must go. You need facts because ur husband will lie and you need to make him feel you know everything and the only route out of this for him is by telling you the truth.

Do the text - and if I were you I would make the call instead and record it. Have set questions - where, how long for, why now, verify facts. And I’m so sorry then you have to face this man that has lied to you. And lied to your children.

Do this for them. Do it now my love.

I’m sure you know full well it’s highly likely this woman is telling the Truth. She will lose her job if she is lying, so why tell this woman to ignore it, ignore her husband is probably cheating and had a long term affair. It will eat away at her. Let her husband away with it. It is cruel advice,

Without a doubt, and no one deserves to be treated like that.

OP sorry to say but this situation happened to me pretty much exactly except I was the unaware OW.

He told me that they had already separated but he was keen to keep the relationship with me quiet because he was worried she wouldn't let him see the kids. Turns out they were never separated and I found out that she was pregnant with number 3. I was absolutely devastated and mortified.

I also found out the story he told mutal friends to justify his actions. Apparently he felt sorry for me because I had not long split up with a boyfriend so he was comforting me and we slept together once. I then started practically stalking him and was so crazy I wouldn't leave him alone... Apparently.

Except I had evidence on my phone of 6 mo the of him actively pursuing me. Phoning and messaging me daily, not the other way around.

I wouldn't believe a word your husband says and it's highly unlikely she is shit stiring. I mean, why would she? She could lose her job for making up lies about a colleague, it's bullying and harassment. She's likely telling the truth.

Was that kind or necessary?! How rude!

The bloody man isn't at home until later, if you would just RTFT!!

I hope you have a good friend you could go stay with tonight, or your parents.

Once you've confronted him, you're going to need love, support and the biggest hug. If it turns out to be true, don't try to go through this alone.

Ask for evidence NOW. You don't want her getting cold feet and deleting it or her getting sweet talked.

Pay no heed to cantankerous crap like this @Waffletots. Plenty of us here who have got your back.

So sorry you're in this situation especially when you're so heavily pregnant x

OP this is horrific, I'm so sorry you are going through this. So glad you are messaging her. You can do this. You have an army of Mumsnet women behind you 💪🏻❤️💪🏻❤️

It took her two minutes to reply “of course” I can only assume she’s screenshotting as we speak 😢

I'm really sorry to hear this, OP.

I will do what I do on these sadly frequent threads and recommend that you go to the Chump Lady website (and read her book Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life) and also find someone in real life who you can confide in and who will support you.

Have the glass of wine. One won't hurt your baby and your agitation is likely to affect him/her.

If this woman's allegation turns out to be true, this POS would be the last person I'd want anywhere near me while having our baby!

Op, no one puts their name to it if it’s not true. It is sadly one of the most unlikely things, I’ve no idea what some posters are thinking.

the question is what do you wish to do about it. You dint need to make any decisions. And tonight he should be the one who leaves.

Whatever you decide to do, think carefully before letting him benefit from you wanting to keep things as you thought they were for the children.

Your doing amazingly, I just wanted you to know that x

Let's see what she sends then. So sorry this is happening to you OP.

I don't think one would be harmful so long as you just stuck to that x

stay strong OP ❤️

You’ve got this, one step at a time and lean on those around you

@adriftinadenofvipers I have read the thread and it seems the OP is more interested in hearing what others say than getting to the bottom of the truth. She needs to be finding out from this woman what she can prove. This is crucial.

Oh op, so sorry. Just remember being in control and having all the info is far better than going mad wondering and listening to constant denials.