Ex no longer able to give DD lift

[crazycattlady0]

I share a DD11 with my ex. He sees her every other weekend and one week in the summer holidays. This has been the pattern since we split up 7 years ago.

He also takes DD to her sport every Wednesday evening, watches her then drops her back.

My ex has been with his partner for a few years and she has a DD a couple of years younger than DD.

My ex has messaged to say that he can no longer take DD to her sport. His SD has just started a similar sport and because the mum can't drive, my ex will now be taking her.

AIBU to think this is unfair on DD, or is it ok because I can drive and therefore take her now?

Can he take his daughter out for tea another night of the week, so she sees him?

Your poor daughter.

Your ex is a fool. His daughter will just feel rejected. Ensuring poor relationship going forward.

@QuizzicalPause

your posts have made me so angry, I am so glad you are not my step parent.

edited as I was so mad I pressed early

to finish, or my parent prepared to allow my father to only see me twice a month as your child , his step child ,takes priority

@QuizzicalPause did you miss that it’s his partners child? Not his. So his DD should be his priority to be honest

Work together fgs. So much aggressiveness, isn't life hard enough?

Op might even enjoy watching her daughter play sport.

@QuizzicalPause He's got two kids now. DD will have to just get used to not being no.1. All the time. She's got a half sibling. That's important She does not have a half sibling at all!! the dad's step child is absolutely no relation to dc 1!! step sibling has a different mother and a different father!!* *

It's been the agreed pattern for 7 years. Not up to me if it's right or not is it.

He lives with his stepdaughter, sorry half sibling isn't the right relationship. Stepsister is. They both need to get used to the idea of him being in SD's life..not her fault he broke up with his ex is it. Now the poor kid is expected to act like he doesn't exist when he offers to do parental things.

"So just to confirm, you'll be prioritising XYZ on Wednesday evenings and no longer seeing our daughter on that night?"

He could, but I bet you anything he won’t want to do that. He only has her one week of the school holidays!

Yes sorry stepsibling. My dsd Have stepsiblings and they have a great time when they all go round their mum's house. So many of them. So much joy and love. It should be encouraged

I already take her to sport two other days a week so I don't mind doing another on top. I'm just sad for DD as she loves her dad and now won't be seeing him for 2 weeks at a time.

Ah ok sorry didn't know I could do that. I'll just prioritise my own child over my stepchildren every time and see how that works for our blended family...

@crazycattlady0 sounds like ex has volunteered to do this for step daughter! surely new partner would not have the cheek to ask when she knows he sees his own daughter at that time??

You're angry I try to treat my dsc the same as I do my own child??? Bizzare

Seeing your child for every other weekend and one week a year is not parenting.

Clearly his kid is not high on his list of priorities.

Hes Just another crappy parent and the fact that some people have even less contact with their kids doesnt change that.

Dreadful suggestion.

But it will mean he will only see his own child every two weeks. If he drops taking her to the activity he needs to see her another day in the week.

@PassingStranger parenting the kid he created for 55 days a year means he's an utter deadbeat. Such specimens should be shunned by society.

His current girlfriend should be insisting the deadbeat sees his kid more, not offloading her kid on to him for transportation.

He could've said to the step daughter you can do any night other than Wednesday. If I had two biological children and one did a sport on a Wednesday, I wouldn't tell them they had to stop because the other had decided they wanted to do something on a Wednesday! I'd say to the archive child, no DC 1 has club on that night you can do Mon, Tues, Thurs or Fri.

@QuizzicalPause I’m assuming his own daughter now thinks she doesn’t exist in his eyes.

If ex was offering to take his SD to sport on another night that would be admirable, not dropping his daughter for his SD. If this was a family not blended one, can’t imagine one child being told they can no longer do something as sibling wants to do something on same night. You would usually try and see if they can do something on different night.

Maybe ex’s partner should learn to drive

Why, out of interest?

Yeah but he sees his first daughter every other weekend and this one evening a week. Other daughter has every other weekend and 4 evenings a week. Not really fair is it to go from 1 out of 5 evenings to none.

Also she was doing the sport on a Wednesday first, so he knew he had a commitment when other daughter was signing up for sports.

@QuizzicalPause personally as a step parent myself I’d never ask my DH to do something for my DC that would directly take him away from his DD. But I guess that’s just how I choose to make sure all of the children in our family feel valued.

As she gets older she probably won't want to go at weekends anyway.
No doubt dad will have to accept that.

I always do stuff for my step kids that means I'm not with my own child. It's how it works in our family. It's whoever is available at the time. If I stopped doing stuff for my step kids and prioritised my own child 100% then the step kids would miss out and that's not fair