Ex no longer able to give DD lift

[crazycattlady0]

I share a DD11 with my ex. He sees her every other weekend and one week in the summer holidays. This has been the pattern since we split up 7 years ago.

He also takes DD to her sport every Wednesday evening, watches her then drops her back.

My ex has been with his partner for a few years and she has a DD a couple of years younger than DD.

My ex has messaged to say that he can no longer take DD to her sport. His SD has just started a similar sport and because the mum can't drive, my ex will now be taking her.

AIBU to think this is unfair on DD, or is it ok because I can drive and therefore take her now?

@Myneeboots

"But if both parents can drive which they can as the OP can then it’s not unreasonable for her to take the child as he now should be treating them the same."

If this cuts the amount of time he sees his daughter I'm sure he'll be happy to up his maintenance payments then

I mean ideally they would find a different evening for sd activity but that's not always possible. He should def be arranging another evening to see her tho.

Doesn’t work like that as it’s based on overnights.

So if he stops this Wednesday evening he wil only see her ever other weekend?

He's massively unreasonable. Every other weekend and one evening a week is not taking an active role in his childs life as it is and he wants to reduce that further? Your poor daughter.

No, she’s got a step sibling. That’s a pretty huge difference. A step sibling who lives with this child’s actual father and gets to see him every day. While his actual child only gets to see him 4 days a month aside from the Wednesday clubs. How the fuck is she ‘expecting to be no1 all the time’ because she’s upset her dads dropped her for yet another day in favour of his partners child?

He’s wrong to prioritise his partners child but the most important thing here is your dd. So you should take her to the sport. Anyway, that’s what I’d do.

Just to clarify a few things.

I will of course take DD myself so that she doesn't miss out.

The other child is her step sister, not her half sister.

It will now mean he only sees her every other weekend.

Your poor Dd being dropped for her stepsister. That’s so unfair to do that to her.

YANBU. That’s a shit response from him, putting his SD first, ask him how he thinks his SD is more important than his own child, and how he will make his own child felel, ie second place

the SD mother will have to find a way to get her there, or ask that child’s father to do it

How dare he

But why is it when step mums get pelted that they must treat their step kids as their own and would be expected to do this no problem.

Hardly sees his daughter lol.
Every other weekend and a week in the summer more than some.

@PassingStranger

he puts HIS daughter first, it’s up to his partner to get HER child somewhere

I don’t think a stepmum would be told off for dropping one child in favour of another, especially if they only see their own child a few days in a year

@crazycattlady0 I hope this peach of a dad pays CMS

I'm going to use this when I'm asked to prioritise the dsc over my own child..it wm go down a treat.

Oh right coz I'm the "second wife" I just have to bow down to the first born?

Sort it out there's kids involved. Two parents who can drive. 2 kids wanting to go to an activity. Not a problem. It's only a problem if the parents of the first DC are so petty they fight over it

Why can't he please his own biological daughter?

No it's fair enough. You can drive.

Her daughter is his stepdaughter. As a steparent if I had that attitude of "not my problem" re my stepchildren there'd be outrage on here

Yeah do that and have a big fallout.
Next minute dd isn't seeing her dad or stepsister.
Great not.

Just take her yourself.
If he's already been doing this a while your turn now.
Everyone always wants a row.

No it’s not he probably lives with his step daughter and see he’s every day and night, he sees his own daughter every 2nd weekend. Hugely unfair.

@PassingStranger that is a very low bar for dads you have there. Shouidn't be comparing to absent crap dads

@QuizzicalPause are you on stupid pills? His own daughter should come first and stick to the arrangement he has been doing for a long time. SM can sort out how her kid gets there! Where's her real dad to help out!

@QuizzicalPause

Did you read the post? It’s his step daughter, not his daughter so there are no half siblings involved, she is in fact a stranger biologically to HIS OWN daughter

and to those of you saying he should do it, it means he sees his stepdaughter, ie no biological relation every day and HIS OWN daughter twice a month

@QuizzicalPause is that acceptable? That he sees his OWN daughter twice a month, she’s already not number 1

Yeah it's unfair but the alternative is he lives with his ex still and presumably they decided like grown ass adults to seperate

He ALREADY lives in the same house as the SD. Now he is dropping a day of seeing his own daughter for the SD

He’s actually planning to treat her better than his own. So he’ll be moving from the bare minimum to less than that. What a turd.