Ex no longer able to give DD lift

[crazycattlady0]

I share a DD11 with my ex. He sees her every other weekend and one week in the summer holidays. This has been the pattern since we split up 7 years ago.

He also takes DD to her sport every Wednesday evening, watches her then drops her back.

My ex has been with his partner for a few years and she has a DD a couple of years younger than DD.

My ex has messaged to say that he can no longer take DD to her sport. His SD has just started a similar sport and because the mum can't drive, my ex will now be taking her.

AIBU to think this is unfair on DD, or is it ok because I can drive and therefore take her now?

are you the op’s ex or the stepmum? Whatever, you’re coming across like utter shit and really quite ignorant (read stupid)

He only has 1 child. The other child is his girlfriend's child.

Why would it be good to know? Because you're feeling nosey?

He is available. He's made himself available. Which is very nice of him as a stepparent

They're really not.

This is not about his relationship with his girlfriend's child. It's about his relationship with his child. The sport club is actually irrelevant. Because what his child will hear is this,

"I live with a new child and spend all of my time with them. I only choose to see you every second weekend and for a few hours on a Wednesday. I now no longer want to see you on the Wednesdays because I want to spend even more time with the child I live with."

If you can not see that this is difficult for a child to cope with them you have absolutely no understanding of the impact an absent parent can have a person's self-esteem.

But halving contact time with his biological child makes him a poorer parent.

Do you think it’s very nice of him that he only sees his daughter every other weekend?

Nope

Just because someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t make them a troll.

Because part of his contact with HIS DAUGHTER was doing this trip.
It's his current partners job to figure out how to get her dc somewhere. Not foist it on him requiring him to neglect his own dc

Own dc should never be tossed aside for some else's dc

Yes. It's a difficult thing to juggle

I'd message back and say "Well aren't you fucking Dad of the Year, you cretin. Hope you're happy with yourself for letting your daughter down. I will of course make sure DD doesn't miss out on her activity because that's what decent parents do, not that you'd know of course."

@QuizzicalPause
I have never read in here that a parent gets to opt out of parenting their own dc because their current partner wants them to look after their (partner') dc

I have read many many comments on MN about how shit it is when parents abandon their own dc for the new family

@QuizzicalPause
It's not a half sibling. It's the current partners dc. Not his unless I've missed something

He's got two kids now. DD will have to just get used to not being no.1. All the time. She's got a half sibling. That's important

Erm. Don't do that. You'll look childish. Just rise above it and ignore.

Rising above it is overrated imo. Sometimes it's nice to call people out on their poor behaviour.

Yeah sorry stepsibling. Still important. My dsc have a brilliant bond with their stepsiblings as their mum has done a great job of blending

I mean sure if it makes you happy but I think that just comes across full of spite and bitterness

@Myneeboots

That’s not what step mums get told when they get with a new bloke with kids.

You have to treat them as your own.
No they don't. They get told the dc has two parents and it's not for the step parent to rearrange their life so the parents can do other things.
They get told it's for the dc parents to figure out and that if the parent cants do it then that's their problem.
I've read this a gazillion times.

Hardly get a bond with the step sister if she only sees her father twice a month.

@Myneeboots

But why is it when step mums get pelted that they must treat their step kids as their own and would be expected to do this no problem.
They don't. People would ask where the child's father is

You’re putting a lot of emphasis on blood. That’s not how blended families work

😂😂😂😂 you’re grasping at straws now.
In my previous post, I made it clear it would be good for the child. I didn’t ask the reason. I said if there was a valid and reasonable explanation for the change, she may understand better and it may help the child.