Does everyone feel like this a lot as they get older?

[Hunkkp]

Or is it not that common and I need help?!

I don’t know how to explain it well, but I am basically quite often a mildly angry, frustrated and irritated woman. I can be perfectly pleasant and believe that’s how I come across most of the time as describe me as positive and upbeat and kind…. But inside I’m rarely these things!!!

Honestly, so many things make me angry inside. Bad service, traffic, the weather! I’m a miserable git. I didn’t used to be so pessimistic. Is this just life?

And you also said that you had been cruelly treated by older women. Perhaps you could reread your posts and remind yourself of what you said.

@Farimatafa
Where exactly did I say that every woman, everywhere has children?
Your post is inaccurate. I said 'often' and was trying to kindly explain why your observation was myopic in it's focus. You did a good job of trivialising the very real difficulties that can face us at this stage in life.
I have siblings, family members, friends who have no children, I live in the real world. It's not the issue. It's not central to anything I was saying.
The point that some of us are trying to make, (in response to your attributing 'huge' societal problems to women angry at 'losing their looks'!) is that women often have competing demands placed upon them, which sometimes include children, and sometimes the complexity and nature of these demands increase with age. We can be juggling the care of three generations at once, on top of all the other aspects of life that require our attention.
It's a common experience to many of us, but quite obviously not all.
You fed into an age old, well-worn misogynistic stereotype and extrapolated your own personal experience to describe some sort of (imagined) society-wide scourge of screaming, bitter middle aged women terrorising young women.

Perhaps read back through all your comments.

Yes i did, but the conversation had moved on and we were talking about something different.

Try to read the whole thread before you comment.

It definitely does happen.

Older women terrorising younger woman.

It's something we need to improve in society. For sure.

I'm no just talking about myself. I've seen ti happen to lots of women.

My niece, 22, who is absolutely beautiful has told me that she wants to leave her job because her older female manager is ruining her life.

Nope, most of us don't give a shit about our looks when we get older, we have realised it just doesn't matter. We are just relieved to be free of the constant harassment from sleazy men. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to my twenties now.

Mind you, younger women spouting nonsense like this will be pretty annoying and may prompt a well deserved sharp response!

Read the thread. What younger woman? I said I'm in my forties.

Does anyone actually ever read the full thread that they are posting on.

I do.

But looking at this thread, a lot of posters don't.

I was like this. An angry carping misery who positively revelled in my negativity 😅 Picking fault with the world. Hiding my insecurities and lack of progression through nitpicking and bitching about others.

Then, I went blind. And fuck me, that rearranged the old priorities DRASTICALLY. Sure I still feel irritation and a deep (perimenopause) inability to tolerate people's promise breaking/flakiness/self-centred dross/fake friendship/self obsession/lack of even trying to be a good person, etc.

BUT I also gained a deep clarity. We don't have control over anything at all in reality, our lives are miniscule and short. Wasted energy is gone for ever. And so, perhaps love and light really are the best way.

Disclaimer: I still slam doors in a sulk when I blindly walk in to them. I still swear, I still rant in my head. But it takes time to learn a new way. It's worth it though.

I have read the whole thread. I stand by what I said and my interpretation of your posts and how you're coming across.

@Farimatafa you're a lot younger than me! A mere whippersnapper!

I guess on your definition of "younger" I should just lie down and die??

My point still stands that older women aren't often bothered about what people like you think about their looks, we have realised how unimportant that is. Perhaps when you get to that stage you will understand.

I wouldn't even say it was the menopause, I can be quite happy one minute and go from 0 to 100 in a heartbeat if something ticks me off, it's just one of those things I guess!

That’s me and i love it! My code word is “your welcome” which actually means fuck off! My line manager knows this now and howled laughing. I’m perfectly pleasant, friendly, helpful etc but get in my car at the end of a working day and tell all my colleagues you’re welcome! I’m 57 and seriously dislike stupid people!

Have a chat with your GP and discuss (peri)menopause and HRT. This kind of thing is classic hormonal shift, it's so much more than hot flushes and no periods. Be kind to yourself

You don’t give your age but I saw a thing once which said “don’t mess with women over 40, they are full of rage and sick of everyone’s shit”. That’s me. Genuinely if I get through a day without wanting to lash out at complete strangers, I’m doing good. And don’t get me started on how annoying DH is…

I've got amazingly more tolerant and even tempered as I've left the teen years. Then I had dc and became even more chilled. I thought I'd be other way tbh.

I do have a grumpy stare though, and much less liable to endure ' banter'

Irritation is a symptom of anxiety. You might not realise youre anxious but thats what it is

Not RTFT but yeah sounds like perimenopause to me, absolute rage over minor things and then later I give my head a wobble and can't understand my reaction, that's if I remember what with the brain fog....oh the joys of having ovaries!!

I can totally relate, feeling miserable 99.9 % of the time (age 55)
I was never this miserable until I hit my 50’s I think it’s definitely the menopause, finished my periods at 50.
I had our DD age 41, so she’s now got a miserable, short tempered mum, unlike her DB’s , who had a relaxed, happy, spontaneous mum.
I tell her about my hormones, how i’m aware of how miserable I am but i cant seem to snap out of it, shes a fabulous kid, she says its ok Mum, she tells me she loves me and that i’m a great mum.
So I dig deep and carry on for her,
i read somewhere that I might feel better from age 58?…..certainly hoping for a magical transformation the morning i wake up on my 58th birthday

Menopause did it for me, I became an
Angry Old Woman overnight. After a month of HRT I was soon back to my calm and placid self 😁

I’m 73 and have been through most of the difficult times - teenagers, elderly parents etc. and am generally calm and not (or ever have been) prone to take out any fury on other people. From what I can see on many of these posts, and although many of you are dealing with a lot, there seems to be a lack of self control. No matter what problems we may have we do have a choice in how we react to things which annoy or upset us.

Same, late 50s, bullshit and idiot tolerance at low level. I go from calm to rage in under 30!

Sounds like peri/menopause moodiness caused by low hormones. HRT could be your answer.

I definitely had it in the throws of difficult phases of my life. It kind of crept up on me. I now realise depression isn't always sobbing and sadness. It can be anger, cynicism, rage, shortness of temper, impatience and a feeling of being socially out of step too. ADs definitely helped. I'm also better at putting in boundaries and looking after myself too. But it's about constant maintenance.

I think that as we get older our shit detector turns on and our ability to suffer fools departs.
I am more angry, rude and sweary than I ever used to be. And (don’t tell anyone) I quite enjoy it.

I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older a really bad intolerance to almost everything. I don’t even drive anymore because I’m in the car 2 minutes before I’m enraged and swearing like a sailor, it pisses me off for the rest of the day and I can’t get past it. I am perimenopausal and on progesterone only. I find my moods peak to raging point and I totally lose it then when I’m more pleasant I’m quiet, masking happiness and wrangling anxiety. I just crack on. Sometimes I get that enraged I just want to cry. I’m a miserable sack of shite lately. I even missed my works Christmas do because I’m on one and knew I’d blow at the slightest thing and that would be before a drink!