Dog at family christmas gathering

[Pippy2022]

I want my kids to join the big family gathering around Christmas time but a new 'big scary' dog will be there (pet of SIL). I can't speak directly to SIL and partner is useless communicator. Shall my kids just go on a separate day and not see rest of family or do I die from anxiety the whole time and pray for the best. Feeling quite annoyed about the whole thing tbh.

You don't need to 'force your kids to like dogs' but as responsible parent you do need to ensure they know how to behave around them. There are dogs in every walk of life, the sooner you help them to manage their fear the better.

There should not be dogs "in every walk of life". They are intruding on far too many spaces where they do not belong. Dogs should only be in their owners homes, being walked leashed on the street, and in designated dog parks.

I don’t like dogs and I have allergies. I won’t go to anyone’s house unless the dog (or cat) is out of the way and am far too old to care if that offends anyone

I don’t even go to my local cafes now because of them. Cafe Nero in my town in particular smells awful and if it’s not the smell of wet dog (I live in the rainy north) it’s the sound of two dogs barking at each other or at someone who has asked to pet them.

When I saw a staff member pet a dog once at a brunch place, I wondered if they washed their hands afterwards before serving food and decided to just leave.

And yeah before anyone says it - yes of course people who work with foods may or may not do all kinds of gross things when you’re not looking, but if I see it I don’t fancy my chances and won’t hang around.

I generally don’t like eating around dogs anyway so that was the final straw.

But that's not reality.

Can I bring my camel then?

Poor dog is being judged by its size by the sound of it. It sounds like it's going to be in a much more noisy and uncomfortable situation than the humans.

Kids need to be socialised around dogs as do anxious adults. The kids will pick up on the adults needless anxiety and become anxious too for no reason at all. It's not fair on dogs as they inevitably get the blame even though they're surrounded by humans giving off toxic chemicals and vibes. Poor pup

Because that's what they want to do. If you don't, join places that are not dog friendly. It's not difficukt

Your partner isn't close to his family, you're not close to his family, why do you care about the kids going. Just tell your partner that no, he's not taking them somewhere with a dog HE describes as 'big & scary' it's too risky.

You know nothing about this dog... so judgemental.

Teach your kids to cope with dogs. It's a life skill, seeing as there are so many around.
I don't know what you should do about the family visit - ask if the dog can go in another room? I visit peoples homes as part of my job and I'm supposed to ask for dogs to be put away (I never do, I love dogs though never yet had one).

Why can't they leave the dog at home? It's a dog you haven't met before, a big rescue and you're children are scared of dogs. So no, I'd go see the family another day and if your partner wants to still go he can go alone

Because you shouldn't leave a dog for days alone at home when you stop over someone's house at Christmas

This thread just reminds me why I far prefer the company of dogs to human beings.

Exactly.

The whole point of having a pet is to be nice to it. My dog likes to get out and see different things, and be with me. Ergo, I like to take my dog when I can.

I doubt SIL would be completely honest .

Because they are staying with someone who is apparently happy to have the dog there? Why would you try to get a kennel over Christmas (nightmare!) in that situation?

Well, it's a bit hard for SIL to be honest if OP won't even talk to her.

I find owners of rescues to be pretty good, in general. It's the oodle cross owners that are more likely to not understand dogs. Often well - meaning, though.

I totally agree with you. The fact is that there are dogs everywhere and it can be limiting for your dcs if they are scared. I also believe if you are nervous around dogs, the dog will pick up on your tension, causing it to feel anxious in turn and possibly react negatively.

Your partner sounds a hopeless idiot. He comes home to an over anxious wife and tells her about a big, scary dog but can’t say what breed or speak to his sister. Does he not want you to go?!!

What's in it for your family with these Christmas arrangements? You aren't keen on dogs (which is fine, they aren't for everyone) and you don't sound close to these people. Why not do something that you might enjoy for Christmas instead? Life's too short for this crap.

Yeah, people get a dog for a companion & to socialise with others who feel the same. So a book club that's dog friendly is great, if you don't like dogs join one that's not friendly.

FFS they're digs not dragons!!

Why would they want to leave their dog at home. If the people hosting are happy for the dog to come too, then it's fine.

There was no internet in the Bible …. But here we are.

The world has moved on since the first century.

I get from your language using words like ‘leashed’ & ‘ dog park’ you are not English. Dogs in England are part of our everyday life. In public areas most owners are considerate of people who are not that comfortable around them. We do not have specific dog parks that I am aware of in the UK. In winter even beaches become completely dog friendly.