Dh making us drive in red warning

[BlueFoxel]

It just so happens dh and I have been on the Welsh coast for the past few days enjoying a mini break before our wedding. Was sent the emergency alarm earlier today. We are due to set off tomorrow morning in the middle of the red warning for wind. I have shared my concerns with dh but he really does not care at all. Dh thinks I am dramatic at the best of times and has totally dismissed my fears. He has a football game he is wanting to drive back home for. He is very arrogant

I am really bloody stressed out.

Please tell me I am being crazy and everything will be fine.

Haven't read the whole thread, but this made me laugh... 😄 Do we need you to hold up a copy of today's paper like a hostage proving they're still alive? Could you maybe send us a fingertip?

🖖

How can he be ill informed when they received an emergency warning?

Why is he so blase he'd risk their lives and go against the 'don't travel' advice?

Is it being dramatic to refuse to travel in a red warning? All for the sake of watching a football match.

Don't go. This is foolish and things may not be fine.

Why are you asking us?! The man doesn't listen to safety experts, he doesn't listen to your concerns, he's certainly not going to listen to you saying 'well Mumsnetters reckon there be massive traffic jams.....'

Falling trees

It would be horrendous and further enhanced due to the roadworks.

On what grounds does your partner reckon it shouldn't be too bad? Is that something else he's just pulled out of the air?

There are currently road closures on many sections of the M4
https://www.theaa.com/route-planner/traffic-news/PortTalbot,UK

It's great you can stay an extra night - I would definitely cosy up and travel back tomorrow. You are right to want to avoid the Monmouthshire route in an amber warning.

This is the latest update from South Wales Police about travelling today, posted an hour ago on their Facebook page:

Current travel advice from South Wales Police:

Consider whether or not your journey today is absolutely necessary. ‎ If you have to travel, please be cautious and stay alert with the wind and rain caused by #StormDarragh.
Make use of main roads and avoid less-used routes, and be aware of:
‎Flying debris
‎Possible damage to buildings
‎Longer journey times
Fallen trees
‎Bridges closed

This is the real problem. You can't do the 'I usually don't mind deferring to him', but then complain that he doesn't listen and expects you to defer to him. I'm not saying he's right, but it sounds like he's just doing what he has always done and what you have always happily accepted. Perhaps you need to change the script before marriage and babies are added to the mix.

Why don’t you suggest your boyfriend go for a little swim? It’ll do him the world of good. And maybe you could set off after that.

Wanting to follow advice isn’t being dramatic. Again, the only reason he conceded is because the bridge closed and he had little choice.

The way OP has commented about the way he treats her and makes her feel has red flags all over it.

I don’t understand how he isn’t getting this..

100% this. Thank you @MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira

He has and they've booked another night

Maybe @MerlotMisery and @MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira should get a room?

They're the only 2 posters here who seem to be defending the OP's partner.

Let this be your turning point, OP.

Where you promise yourself you'll stand up for yourself (and the dogs) in future. You're not that little girl or that inexperienced young woman anymore.

Practice your no and get those assertive muscles working.

That's looks like a lovely view 😍

Not far from Burmley.

I remember many years ago delivering milk, employee dropped the milk on the doorstep and jumped in the van just as the door closed a slate off ghe roof hit the footpath where they were stood.

Definitely staying in today

OP last year we set off to go to a holiday cottage, despite there being an amber warning on our route.

We naively thought we'd just be slightly held up.

We were wrong. And foolish. The road was eventually blocked by a landslide (which luckily we missed) and we had to turn back and go home.

We had to stay at home for another four days while the road was cleared. Then we set off again, and made it this time.

It could have been much worse. We were lucky.

And that wasn't even a red warning! It was Storm Babet, and people died.

They are still asking about the roads though???

I think this is a male / female divide. Usually sensible DH has said he would drive if it looked safe. I've said it would until you found yourself in a flood etc. he can't see the e danger unless it's snow or ice.

On the other hand, a few years ago there was bad snow and we had to go an hour or so away and the neighbour ran out to tell us not to drive anywhere as he'd been to the shop and it was awful (I'd not long driven the car back from the same shop) and we needed to stay, we didn't have a single issue. Not even a slip or slide.

Is he a geography teacher?

We were once the last car allowed over the old bridge, coming home into Wales on a stormy night. It was bloody terrifying. Lorries on their sides. Crept along very very slowly.
The new bridge is better in high winds but as pps have said, not winds as high as these. It’s still shockingly windy, not safe to be outside, there are almost no cars out in my village. DH is away and has to drive home later but will be waiting until midnight , if the bridge is open then.

Someone I used to work with was injured when an estate agent's "For Sale" sign crashed through her windscreen when she was driving during the hurricane in 1987.

She was left with some pretty bad facial scars, and I've observed "don't travel" weather warnings ever since.

I think what people are getting at is that you have described 10 years of being patronised and condescended to by your partner and are only willing to stand up to him when actually scared for your life. Maybe you need a big reset to your relationship, and point out in so many words that while you may have been a bit naive when younger you are now fully his equal and he should not even think of disregarding your opinion about important issues; or even unimportant ones.

OP you don't need to prove anything to anyone on here. I'm glad you're still safe and still sticking to your guns.