Dh making us drive in red warning

[BlueFoxel]

It just so happens dh and I have been on the Welsh coast for the past few days enjoying a mini break before our wedding. Was sent the emergency alarm earlier today. We are due to set off tomorrow morning in the middle of the red warning for wind. I have shared my concerns with dh but he really does not care at all. Dh thinks I am dramatic at the best of times and has totally dismissed my fears. He has a football game he is wanting to drive back home for. He is very arrogant

I am really bloody stressed out.

Please tell me I am being crazy and everything will be fine.

What's he basing that on?

You've not engaged on any level with 99.9% of posters suggesting you get out of this toxic relationship.

Why should she ? She's worried about travelling today .

This has to be a wind up now.......

We were in a red area and it's definitely calmed down. We're still getting strong gusts but not as strong as they were and the intervals between gusts is longer.

There are big trees down close to here.

Hope not. My wind up thread radar used to be 100%. Don't want to be losing my edge.

Most people can actually think about more than one thing at a time.

The POW bridge currently has long term road works on it, with a contra flow. It was very slow when I went over it both ways last weekend, when the weather was just standard autumn / winter weather.

Start practicing your no.

This is the three part sentence assertiveness technique:

I understand that (ie yes, I am listening to you and hearing your point of view)

However (ie now I i expect you to do me the same courtesy)

Therefore (this is my opinion, what I am going to do, not going to do, no longer putting up with, boundaries, etc).

I understand you'd hoped and planned to go to the match today and that you're disappointed it's not going to happen.

However I'm paying attention to the warnings. They are absolutely clear and our and the dogs' safety comes first.

Therefore the dogs and I will not be travelling today.

And the broken record, repeating your statement, your position in the same neutral businesslike words, expression, tone of voice:

As I say, we won't be travelling today. We're staying the night and won't be suddenly setting off this afternoon. We'll review the situation tomorrow.

Also - recommend you start referring to him as your partner rather than fiancé or husband. This is not a foregone conclusion.

Have you read all the OP’s subsequent comments?

100% not a wind up. People are being so lovely to me with advice and info. Happy to share any “proof”. Pic of sea with username and date? Don’t want the helpful posters to think I’m a troll. So useful having info from people who are familiar with the area.

I know it’s a weird scenario

We're only in a yellow warning but sadly a guy in his forties has died after a tree fell in his van.

I used to work near the Bristol end of one of the bridges and there's no way you'd get me anywhere near either if the bridges in this weather.

I know the Wye area well and there is no way in hell I would be driving in that area today - the road is close to the river on the one side and overshadowed by forest on the other. It’s cliff forest so what comes down won’t just be trees, it’ll be landslip.

Fiancé. DH, whatever. You've got bigger issues than the weather. When are you meant to be getting married?

Be careful he doesn’t gaslight you later. It If were my ex he would blame me for being absent at the match. He would be saying say to his football mates, I would have got through but it was her refusing to get in the car and I couldn’t leave her in the state she was in.

You’ve booked for an extra night. I don’t understand why your DP is so keen to drive back today. He already knows he won’t see the football match. What is the point of sitting in loads of traffic and having to take long detours? Just keep saying no, I’m not going anywhere today.

Can you explain why you think this man is a good partner? From what you’ve told us he isn’t kind or respectful towards you. Kindness and respect towards a partner are very basic requirements in a successful relationship. You deserve so much better than this.

I'm relieved you said no to that. I live in Somerset right on the edge of the red zone and I can't get out of my village becsuse all the roads are blocked with trees.

There’s at least 2 sections of the m4 closed before you get anywhere near the bridges.

the Prince of Wales bridge can in theory open sooner, but the current roadworks will need resetting (I would imagine most cones have blown away!) before it can open. The m48 bridge needs much lower wind speeds before it can reopen.

You’ve booked another night. The red weather warning has dropped to amber but that’s still significant. Stay put and stay safe, it’s just not worth the risk.

Your DP really is showing a ridiculous level of selfishness and stupidity here.

Has the match been cancelled?

It's really not that weird a scenario. It's a typical domestic scenario. 2 people wanting different things. In your relationship this ordinary occurrence isn't handled well, it's dysfunctional. Sorry.

Only because the bridge is closed. Not to mention also calling OP dramatic, making her feel small etc she shouldn’t be feeling like that for simply wanting to follow the advice.

Clearly I have nothing better to do.

Resorting to a puzzle in a bit

@BlueFoxel

I'm in Wales it's just not easing off yet. I'd stay another night. So many roads closed because there's a bloody great tree in the way

Maybe the OP is dramatic? We don't know she isn't , it's seems like a huge leap from ill informed/blasé about weather and a bit stubborn with regard to sticking to original plans (which he then conceded) to toxic LTB....

Sounds like we are both in the same area, incident near Preston I believe?

I’m near Burnley and not planning on driving this weekend and compared to other areas it’s not that bad locally.