Page 20 | Dh making us drive in red warning

BlueFoxel · 2024-12-06T21:00:53+00:00

It just so happens dh and I have been on the Welsh coast for the past few days enjoying a mini break before our wedding. Was sent the emergency alarm earlier today. We are due to set off tomorrow morning in the middle of the red warning for wind. I have shared my concerns with dh but he really does not care at all. Dh thinks I am dramatic at the best of times and has totally dismissed my fears. He has a football game he is wanting to drive back home for. He is very arrogant I am really bloody stressed out. Please tell me I am being crazy and everything will be fine.

FestiveFruitloop · 07/12/2024 12:40

cherish123 · 06/12/2024 23:53

If there's a red warning, refuse to drive.

This. He's being an idiot.

Franjipanl8r · 07/12/2024 12:47

Do not have children with an insufferable know it all who doesn’t respect your wishes.

Original poster

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 12:47

Thanks all for concern. Just had an amazing nap

We have booked the cottage for an additional night. Dh keeps refreshing twitter in the hope the bridges will have reopened. Dh has suggested the Monmouthshire route multiple times but there is no way in hell I will drive through a forest in this wind..

OP posts:

HazelTiger · 07/12/2024 12:48

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WhereYouLeftIt · 07/12/2024 12:50

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 08:02

The problem is that I am on the passive side (strict upbringing where I had to blindly follow what my parents told me). And usually I don’t mind deferring to fiancé and rarely is a scenario so serious that I have to put my foot down and insist. Can’t think of an instance where we’ve reached an impasse such as this before. But I genuinely fear for our safety driving home.

We have agreed to set off a bit later but I am hoping we can stay another night. This cottage is extremely solid and I feel safe. Didn’t really notice how bad the wind was last night from the bedroom (despite 75 knot winds +). The house is sort of built into a cliff so the back is protected a lot. Took dogs for a wee outside and it feels like a hurricane. We have a sea view so extremely exposed at the front.

Get some therapy for your passivity, and reconsider marrying this complete arsehole of a man. Thank goodness you're not tied to him by joint children!

Honestly, your passivity in the face of his arrogance sounds akin to a hostage situation.

FromCuddleLand · 07/12/2024 12:51

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 12:47

Thanks all for concern. Just had an amazing nap

We have booked the cottage for an additional night. Dh keeps refreshing twitter in the hope the bridges will have reopened. Dh has suggested the Monmouthshire route multiple times but there is no way in hell I will drive through a forest in this wind..

Edited

Glad common sense has prevailed. Enjoy your extra night.

HazelTiger · 07/12/2024 12:52

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Washingupdone · 07/12/2024 12:53

He’s trying to wind you up, have you clinging on to his arm pulling him back. …don’t go darling …I must for the football, go and fight the weather, me against the odds… etc…

Just relax and tell him to go, you are such a brave man. You will follow when the battle is won… by train.

He is loving the idea he is frightening you, call his buff.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 07/12/2024 12:55

JustGettingColourBack · 07/12/2024 06:43

You do have control. You can choose not to get in that car, whatever happens (and not put the dogs in either). He isn't in charge of you, and if you feel that he is then that's a really serious problem and a bigger red warning for your future than this storm.

A man whose problem with authority means he's willing to risk his life, his fiancée and his dogs sounds like a nightmare. A red weather warning isn't an attempt to infringe on people's freedoms, it's a warning that going outside might kill you. People do die in severe weather, it's not an exaggeration - and how arrogant does a person have to be to assume that it won't be them? That he sees a danger warning as some kind of affront to his rights makes him tiresome, incredibly stupid and a threat to the people he endangers through his refusal to listen and understand.

You might not be able to change that about him, but you can change how you respond to it. Don't get in the car.

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This! I think OP needs to really consider if this marriage will be worth it. And work on self esteem

ricesquares · 07/12/2024 12:58

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 12:47

Thanks all for concern. Just had an amazing nap

We have booked the cottage for an additional night. Dh keeps refreshing twitter in the hope the bridges will have reopened. Dh has suggested the Monmouthshire route multiple times but there is no way in hell I will drive through a forest in this wind..

Edited

He's an idiot. How do you tolerate him? Keep standing your ground.

The house is sort of built into a cliff so the back is protected a lot.
Find yourself a partner who has got your back. It matters.

Newbynewbynew · 07/12/2024 13:01

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 12:47

Thanks all for concern. Just had an amazing nap

We have booked the cottage for an additional night. Dh keeps refreshing twitter in the hope the bridges will have reopened. Dh has suggested the Monmouthshire route multiple times but there is no way in hell I will drive through a forest in this wind..

Edited

So the only reason he isn't getting his way is because the bridges are shut, otherwise you'd be on the road. You're very 'hey ho' about all this.

Minc · 07/12/2024 13:07

👏🏽

MissLeToe · 07/12/2024 13:11

Maybe you should stop calling him your husband when he's not.
Being together for 10 years doesn't make him your husband.

You appear to have spent 10 years been told you're stupid and a drama queen and so 'tied' to him [under his thumb] that you even refer to him as your husband.

In your latest posts there is only relief that you aren't in that car now.

You've not engaged on any level with 99.9% of posters suggesting you get out of this toxic relationship.

Susieeva · 07/12/2024 13:12

This reply has been withdrawn

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread

Original poster

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 13:14

I do have a lot to think about.

It might sound mad but dh is a good partner in almost every other area.

OP posts:

Original poster

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 13:16

Does anyone have a view on the level of congestion were the POW bridge to open at 3pm as has been suggested?

Dh reckons it shouldn’t be too bad

OP posts:

Original poster

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 13:17

MissLeToe · 07/12/2024 13:11

Maybe you should stop calling him your husband when he's not.
Being together for 10 years doesn't make him your husband.

You appear to have spent 10 years been told you're stupid and a drama queen and so 'tied' to him [under his thumb] that you even refer to him as your husband.

In your latest posts there is only relief that you aren't in that car now.

You've not engaged on any level with 99.9% of posters suggesting you get out of this toxic relationship.

I’m not purposely avoiding the comments re relationship.

I personally just want to tackle one problem at a time.

OP posts:

HazelTiger · 07/12/2024 13:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MissLeToe · 07/12/2024 13:19

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 13:14

I do have a lot to think about.

It might sound mad but dh is a good partner in almost every other area.

He's not though.
You're deluding yourself.

You said in your first post that he made you feel 'small' for various reasons and also that he regarded you as 'dramatic at the best of times'.

Sometimes, someone's behaviour crosses a line and they show their true selves. You are minimising what was terrible behaviour. But you've been in this for so long you can't see it.

And please can you stop saying he's your husband.

It's just as easy to write DP and not DH.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 07/12/2024 13:19

Maybe he should look at https://flood-warning.naturalresources.wales/?centre=eyJjIjpbNTEuOTI3Njk4NjUwNjg1NzUsLTMuMzQxMDIxMzM5NjQyNzkzNV0sInoiOjkuNX0=

You have to cross the Severn but also the River Wye and the smaller rivers and streams are still in flood.

Flood warnings and alerts

https://flood-warning.naturalresources.wales/?centre=eyJjIjpbNTEuOTI3Njk4NjUwNjg1NzUsLTMuMzQxMDIxMzM5NjQyNzkzNV0sInoiOjkuNX0%3D

Worriedmum1975 · 07/12/2024 13:21

The POW bridge has road works and is already bad before today. Go tomorrow. Look at the link above and Amy other traffic radar things.

BibbityBobbityToo · 07/12/2024 13:23

A resident in the next town over to me was having a nice little walk in town this morning and a large tree branch has landed on top of them. We're only in a yellow warning area.

Not sure yet if they have survived or 'just' badly injured.

JustGettingColourBack · 07/12/2024 13:23

BlueFoxel · 07/12/2024 13:16

Does anyone have a view on the level of congestion were the POW bridge to open at 3pm as has been suggested?

Dh reckons it shouldn’t be too bad

If you're booked for another night, why not just enjoy the extended holiday? Is it more important he proves himself right so he has to make a stressful misery of the day instead?

Pipsquiggle · 07/12/2024 13:24

He is NOT your husband - why do you keep calling him that?

Travelling will be awful - even if there is less traffic. I was doing 30mph on the M6 the other week during storm Bert. Very little traffic, just appalling driving conditions.

What's your DP great at then? His critical thinking skills and assessing risk seems to be lacking

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 07/12/2024 13:25

Is there backstory to this I'm unaware of? I'm not sure why everyone is saying this man is toxic. He thought it wouldn't be that bad and they could get back, he's realised that isn't the case, despite his original stubborn statement and has now agreed with the OP and they've booked another night. Does no one ever have a different opinion to their partner?