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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just found my Christmas present and he’s messed up

280 replies

ChristmasCinchNotGrinch · 04/12/2024 14:23

Ok, so I’m grateful I’m getting a present but I’ll have to say that my DH is pretty crap at gifts. I think he’s just lazy. He told me there’s no shops near his office and he wouldn’t know what to get me. Well a few years back I went to his office in London to meet him and I literally walked past some of the best shops in the country.

Anyway, he’s bought me some sports gear off the internet. That’s great as I do a lot of fitness. However I’ve just found the bag. I went into a cupboard and it was on a shelf and I looked.

He’s bought me a jacket and a pair of running leggings in XL and I’m a M. I thought maybe this is an American size or other so I tried them on. They’re 3 sizes too big.

The receipt says there are 30 days to return and that takes it to 30 Dec.

I’m a bit disappointed that yet again I’ve got a useless present, but more practically I don’t want to be outside the return period.

Should I tell him I found them and they’re too big (YANBU) or suck it up, (YABU) smile and send it back as soon as the post office opens after Christmas…….and swap it for something I really want from that shop ;)

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 04/12/2024 14:27

As a general rule I think gifts should be accepted with good grace and I dislike it when people immediately ask for receipts etc

Bur in this case I think he’s a bit lame. He’s your DH and he should know enough about you to take the trouble to buy clothes that fit. It sounds like he can’t be arsed,

I would confront him and ask if this is really the best he could do?

Original poster
ChristmasCinchNotGrinch · 04/12/2024 14:31

Yep, he can’t be arsed.

To get to his office he has to walk past a book shop, Monica Vidner, Oliver Bonas, Neom, Hotel Chocolat, Tiffany’s and loads of other shops, yet can’t think of anything to get me.

But back to the gym stuff. I’ll feel a bit bad saying I’ve found it. Believe it or not, ordering me something online is a lot more than he usually does 😝

OP posts:
Caroparo52 · 04/12/2024 14:33

Buy him a token for a shop he won't use

YellowRoom · 04/12/2024 14:33

Tell him - it would have taken two secs to check what size you are.

Annettecurtaintwitcher · 04/12/2024 14:36

Maybe it’s not for you. Does his mum or sister work out?

Anotherworrier · 04/12/2024 14:38

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/12/2024 14:27

As a general rule I think gifts should be accepted with good grace and I dislike it when people immediately ask for receipts etc

Bur in this case I think he’s a bit lame. He’s your DH and he should know enough about you to take the trouble to buy clothes that fit. It sounds like he can’t be arsed,

I would confront him and ask if this is really the best he could do?

See I disagree with this. The gift is about the person and for them to get joy out of it. If you’re offended by it then you need to question your motives in giving a gift. I have zero problems with someone saying thanks but no thanks.

Tillow4ever · 04/12/2024 14:41

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/12/2024 14:27

As a general rule I think gifts should be accepted with good grace and I dislike it when people immediately ask for receipts etc

Bur in this case I think he’s a bit lame. He’s your DH and he should know enough about you to take the trouble to buy clothes that fit. It sounds like he can’t be arsed,

I would confront him and ask if this is really the best he could do?

I think asking for a receipt because it's a duplicate or the wrong size is very different to asking for the receipt do a "Rachel Green" (for non-Friends fans she basically always returned gifts for store credit). There's nothing wrong with doing that, and as the giver you should want them to be able to make use of the gift you bought!

MisoMouse · 04/12/2024 14:43

Have you gone to a lot of trouble buying nice gifts for him OP? If so, I would be taking them back and spending the refund money on myself. If you want a token gift, buy him a pair of budgie smugglers three sizes too small.

WaneyEdge · 04/12/2024 14:46

If it helps, most shops usually allow an extended return period after Christmas to accommodate people who bought early and the gift may be wrong.

DazedAndConfused321 · 04/12/2024 14:46

Tbf they could've sent the wrong size and he's waiting to get a minute to send them back. You don't know, but you can get them returned and replaced when he gives you them- if he gives you them.

Be proactive, say "I just remembered there's a monica vinader shop near your office, I'd be very happy with something from there if you're still thinking of gifts."
Some people are just shit at presents and can't mind read.

Waterboatlass · 04/12/2024 14:46

There's sometimes an extended return period around Christmas but I'd just tell him. Make clear you weren't looking. No point being stuck with gear you can't use. He sounds a bit of a crap present giver. TBF it's not my amazing DP's strong point either and he's one in a million so try not to take it to heart. Some folk are just far better at 'acts of service" as they say, than thinking of a specific present at a specific time. Maybe a list of suggestions?

PollyPut · 04/12/2024 14:47

I think you're being a bit cheeky trying them on...

Nothanks17 · 04/12/2024 14:47

Perhaps just do it a different way...

Go on online shop for th store or a similar and say oh these are nice and Uve measured myself and I'm a size medium, find something out of stock on there and say oh no they dont have a size medium, I love these etc.

Perhaps buy something thats xl bring it home and demonstrate how big they are for you and say oh I will have to return them asap

Starlight1979 · 04/12/2024 14:49

He's already thought to buy you presents and it's only the first week of December?! That's pretty impressive in my eyes 😂

Mrsttcno1 · 04/12/2024 14:49

DazedAndConfused321 · 04/12/2024 14:46

Tbf they could've sent the wrong size and he's waiting to get a minute to send them back. You don't know, but you can get them returned and replaced when he gives you them- if he gives you them.

Be proactive, say "I just remembered there's a monica vinader shop near your office, I'd be very happy with something from there if you're still thinking of gifts."
Some people are just shit at presents and can't mind read.

This is what I was going to say re. Them sending the wrong size. I ordered some clothes for myself for a holiday a few months ago, didn’t open them up to check I just put them straight in my case and it wasn’t until we arrived and I went to put them on that I realised they had sent 2 items in the wrong size so he may have ordered the right size and hasn’t noticed they’ve sent the wrong one

WildFigs · 04/12/2024 14:50

Well, you don't know for sure they are for you. Maybe check the website and see whether it has extended returns, rather than fessing up that you found and TRIED ON your present only to be told it's actually for Auntie Jean.

NewNameNoelle · 04/12/2024 14:51

I would accept them with good grace and return asap. Or, potentially say ‘I’d love some gym stuff for Christmas, size medium please. Oh and some nice earrings from Oliver Bonas please’ and let him sort it out (here he might not realise the size issue so you might still receive the XL)

Really rubbish gifts are hard, always a little bit of me feels sad that they don’t know me better and a touch angry that they didn’t bother to try a little harder, and disappointed that perhaps I put more effort in than they did. And this extrapolates, for me, to ‘do I like them more than they like me?’. My sympathies

Needmorelego · 04/12/2024 14:52

@ChristmasCinchNotGrinch I'd be honest and tell him you've found them and they are the wrong size.
It's not saying to him "I don't like these" just that they simply won't fit.
He should be able to swap them. You could look on the website with him (to "help" with the exchange) so if there is something you see that you like better you can go "oooh I like that one"....

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 04/12/2024 14:54

I’d wait this one out. Not saying it’s necessarily an Emma Thompson moment as they could be for mum or sister or something, but they could also not be for you.

Apolloneuro · 04/12/2024 14:54

Could you send them back now, yourself and swap them for the right size?!

HarrietHedgehog · 04/12/2024 14:54

YABU - he’s a man. It’s up to you to train him better. Mind you, it took me about 20 years with mine.

YouveGotAFastCar · 04/12/2024 14:56

Can you not just find an opportunity to mention your size to him a few times?

And that you don't want any fitness stuff? 😂

Perhaps you providing a couple of options for him that you do want would work better for you both.

Bluebellyhedge · 04/12/2024 14:57

I'd be a bit annoyed he got my size so wrong.

Octavia64 · 04/12/2024 14:58

Yeah this happened to me except with cashmere jumpers.

I waited it out, and exchanged for the right size.

sausagesforteaagain · 04/12/2024 14:58

I guess he works nr bank? Say you found them and they are too big. Say I want a present from these shops :

Monica V
Tiffany
Hermes
Jo M

  • middle of range shop that he works near and you like.

Do you buy him nice presents? Sounds like he is tight and lazy