I just found my Christmas present and he’s messed up

[ChristmasCinchNotGrinch]

Ok, so I’m grateful I’m getting a present but I’ll have to say that my DH is pretty crap at gifts. I think he’s just lazy. He told me there’s no shops near his office and he wouldn’t know what to get me. Well a few years back I went to his office in London to meet him and I literally walked past some of the best shops in the country.

Anyway, he’s bought me some sports gear off the internet. That’s great as I do a lot of fitness. However I’ve just found the bag. I went into a cupboard and it was on a shelf and I looked.

He’s bought me a jacket and a pair of running leggings in XL and I’m a M. I thought maybe this is an American size or other so I tried them on. They’re 3 sizes too big.

The receipt says there are 30 days to return and that takes it to 30 Dec.

I’m a bit disappointed that yet again I’ve got a useless present, but more practically I don’t want to be outside the return period.

Should I tell him I found them and they’re too big (YANBU) or suck it up, (YABU) smile and send it back as soon as the post office opens after Christmas…….and swap it for something I really want from that shop ;)

Tale the receipt out of the bag and put it somewhere safe in case Mr Not So Wonderful loses it or throws it away.

Make sure you return the gift asap after you receive it.

When you open the gift, make a big deal of the fact that you're not a size XL. That's ridiculous verging on unkind.

They are defo for me. He wouldn’t buy them for his family, and they are pink and black and from a sports shop I like.

So he's not that shit at Christmas, then? He at least knows what you like and where from.

"So may Red Flags he could have a parade " is now in my 'must use' phrase hand book

I would accept them with appreciation, if he’s got the right idea with a type of gift and a shop you like, and has thought about it weeks before Christmas, I think a sweet thought was there at least. At least you should have a few days after Xmas for an exchange.

I would buy exactly the same thing, from the same shop, but in the right size and then do an 'Oh look! I bought myself these!'

So then he can't give you what he's bought ..... but has time to return them.

I would send him a link to some similar running leggings, saying you’d love a pair as yours are feeling old (or whatever) and that you’re size M.

its enough of a hint without directly saying you’ve found the bag.

FYI I wasn’t snooping. He actually put the package in the cupboard where we keep the Christmas decs, and guess what I was doing today on my day off 🤷‍♂️

I looked inside and held up the leggings and thought the arse on them looked massive but then I wondered if I was in denial at the size of my derrière, so I tried them on.

I think that "not being near a shop" is pathetic. Everything is online now. With a few clicks on his phone he could get you something gorgeous. I suppose you could give him some websites. Cashmere jumper or scarf or some jewelry or perfume. Maybe just give in and buy yourself your own oresent. Get them money off him. Some women I know do this! If I get the frustration.

I disagree. The person who bought me a haunch of venison knowing I haven’t eaten meat for 30 years didn’t really deserve good grace.

This is another of those threads where I want to scream "just be honest".
None of these coy hints about sizing or buying the same stuff so he has to return the ones he got or any of that nonsense.
Just talk to him. The size could have been a simple error (clicked on the wrong box or the wrong ones have been sent).
I can't understand adults that feel they have to make up lies or give hints.
Just be honest.

It's such a pain, I always open parcels as soon as I get them but it's always when you need the item the most that there's something wrong with it!

If you don’t want to admit to finding the leggings, can you return and swap them yourself, for the correct size?

Yes, sorry i took this as a hint too. But I am a cynical sod.

Is your SIL your brother's wife or DH's sister/brother's wife?
If her DH is your DH's brother the childhood excuse doesn't really wash.
I think that PP who called your DH Neville in their post made a real!y good suggestion on how to approach it. I'd much rather have it sorted now than open it on Christmas day and feel disappointed

He's a grown adult, who is capable of holding down a job.

He shouldn't need training. He's not a dog.

I once accidentally came across my DHs present list for me… great things on it, but top of the list was a home face sauna - oh hell no!! I’m as claustrophobic as can be… so I started browsing the Argos catalogue… and commentating on bits and pieces and “casually” lamented how I’d love a face sauna and what a shame I was so panicky and could never ever use one! It worked!!! Didn’t get that prezzie.
Could you try mentioning how gym gear needs to be form fitting and you’ve just measured yourself and you’re now a medium… giving him chance to change the stuff for the right size? 🌸

The time to be honest about a gift being the wrong size is AFTER you have actually been given the gift... before then its not yours.

I couldn't imagine being so presumptuous to go through something not mine, assume what I found is for me and then be entitled enough to try it on. I certainly would not to then complain its too big for me, since you know no one actually gave it to me.

The most likely explanation is something's gone wrong with the order - there's no way he could think an average-sized person he sees every day would be wearing XL clothing.

Would you like the things he chose if they were your size?

He probably picked up the XL thinking they looked about the right size and didn’t realize how much gym kit stretches. Particularly leggings - some look tiny before you put them on.

I'd be pissed that my husband thought I was XL when I was medium.

Well, it's not that strange because you've explained it quite neatly! He's shit at gifts because he wasn't brought up in a household that prioritised them. Which is better than being shit at gifts because he's mean-spirited.

I'm not big on gifts either (also wasn't brought up around them) and the difference between being generous at other times vs buying Xmas/bday presents is that at other times you can check and double-check to make sure you haven't missed the mark - so by the time you make the purchase you know it'll go down well. Too much guessing involved with gifts!

That said, getting your size wrong by that much is a fairly bad error on his part (considering he got the actual gift itself right).

If you had time to exchange them and put the new items back where the old were before he'd be likely to go back to wrap them, I think it'd be funny to do that and see if he even notices (or admits) that they've changed! But back in the real world, I'd probably just wait and exchange them after Christmas.

Are you 7 years old.

@housethatbuiltme I don't think the OP went searching for them deliberately. It was an accident.
But it does seem ridiculous to have some clothes sat in a cupboard for 3 weeks in order to say on Christmas Day "ooops not my size" and still have to arrange returns and replacement - when it could be sorted tonight and she actually has a gift she can use on Christmas Day.