To feel a little bit sad that I won't receive Christmas presents any more?

[Wimberry]

I'm aware this is Mumsnet, so I should be happy with my massive salad and thimble of sherry at Christmas, as anything else would make me incredibly selfish and childish. But I do feel a teensy bit sad that I have ended up in a situation where I receive zero Christmas presents, not having any surprises to unwrap.

For context - no children. Mum deceased and dad is distant and buys gifts so bad they're borderline offensive, he's also pleading poverty this year (he's well off, im not a priority) so we agreed to go for a meal at some point instead. It's for the best.

Rest of the family have moved towards buying gifts for children only (and TBF there's not many, no one expects expensive gifts so I don't mind this, although obviously there's none to come to us). I have a partner who is lovely and is good in many ways but is just so, so bad at buying gifts that a few years ago we decided not to bother. It isn't weaponised incompetence, just not his thing. He doesn't expect gifts in return, he's very pragmatic - if he wants something he'd rather buy it himself and get exactly what he wants/needs so he doesn't really enjoy gifts being brought for him. Instead of a work secret santa we're donating to a food bank.

Im not (usually!) materialistic so I am surprised that this makes me feel a bit sad, any alternative ideas for making Christmas feel a bit special, as a grown up?

I do a list and give it to my husband. He is also extremely bad at gift buying so a ongoing list is ideal for him, I add to it all year and when bday and xmas arrives I've forgotten what's on the list so items he chooses are a surprise.

There are some lovely ideas here
I miss surprises, my sister used to be a good giver of surprises
My children are pretty good with carefully chosen surprises. A friend and I exchange little presents and we each try and make them thoughtful
I have done beauty advent calendars in the past, and enjoyed those not really expensive ones, I loved the Holland and Barrett one I got one year for example.
Ex wasn't good at good surprises, and got worse over the years, not even managing to get me things I sent links for, how do you manage that FFS, he would moan like anything how awful it was that he had to even do that.. Any clothes were rarely the right size , even had they had suited me, I guess weaponised incompetence.
So I don't miss that part of the relationship
I think for me it felt disappointed because I always put a great deal of effort into choosing thoughtful gifts

Aw no, that’s not childish at all .
if you were my friend I’d get you something lovely and put thought into it .
I am not in your situation but I do give husband ideas and he chooses from those .
Our wider family don’t really do gifts except for the children.
I am also a member of a Facebook group that has a secret Santa exchange , you can opt in to it if you like to .
I opted in for a few years in a row

Pay an amount and we’ll choose a gift for you? I never knew this was a thing! Are you able to share a link? What a fantastic idea!

I don’t think you should beat yourself up about how you feel, I think I would feel exactly the same in your situation. I think others have come up with some really good ideas. I hope you have a fantastic Christmas and are able to adopt some of these great ideas for next year XX