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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not sharing discount?

216 replies

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 09:56

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

OP posts:
Pompeyssy · 04/12/2024 13:11

If it is a BOGOF offer then she is a complete CF and no friend.

Very silly of you not to ask for clarification.
I couldn't stomach that in a "friend".

LinManuelMirandaIsAGenius · 04/12/2024 13:12

You are not unreasonable to be a bit upset/annoyed AT ALL. What sort of “friend” does that? I’ll be told I’m pathetic/dramatic but I would honestly never look at someone the same way if they did this to me, and no, I don’t expect to be subsidised by my friends (or anyone) for ANYTHING. If someone shows who they are, I believe them.
I would honestly distance myself from this person as I couldn’t enjoy their company knowing how little they thought of me. I cannot abide meanness in people. Especially friends/family! Horrible woman…!

LittleRedRidingHoody · 04/12/2024 13:14

@WiddlinDiddlin Monzo and I think Lloyds now offers 'free' cinema tickets. No purchase of a full price one necessary - I used mine the other day. Not really free because you are paying for the service through which you get the tickets (in my case, Monzo perks)

tachetastic · 04/12/2024 13:17

HerSisterWasAWitch · 04/12/2024 09:59

But she couldn’t get you both the offer, meaning she would be subsiding your ticket. Your DH could have got you both a discount, which was nice of you to offer, but you forgot.

True, but she could have let OP's husband book OP's ticket and use her own free one. She specifically told OP that she would book, knowing OP would have to pay the full price rather than benefit from DH's discount.

It seems weird to say "don't worry about claiming the discount, I'll book you a full price ticket". Why would the friend assume anyone would go with that?

Neodymium · 04/12/2024 13:19

I’d say hers was a buy one get one free.

can the tickets be refunded? I’d ask her to refund and book the ticket yourself

Nina1013 · 04/12/2024 13:25

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:11

This is certainly what I think yes, and it’s how I use my discounts on group outings, for example I offered to share husbands discount with her when I could have kept it to myself.

Not everyone agrees though, that’s why I posted here though to see what others thought.

I think people are getting a bit hung up on the timing thing. We’re seeing the film in the morning on a smaller screen, it’s not a popular time so we had plenty of time to book, but there is always a risk if you try to book separately you may not be able to select seats right next to each other. There was never a risk it would sell out and we’d miss out, not many people see films first thing in the morning (the later showing on the bigger screen is the one that’s selling out fast)

Show quote history

It’s a different kind of discount. He has unlimited 40% off - you giving it to her/me/anyone doesn’t mean you pay more for yours.

She has a defined and finite benefit of a single ticket, so she can go for free but wouldn’t be to subsidise you.

The comparison would be if the 40% had a value so by splitting it you both got a 20% discount.

So while it’s a nice to do, offering her the discount, it’s not actually meaning you get less discount yourself. Whereas she’s got a single free ticket which she wouldn’t benefit from if she gave you 50%…

LindaDawn · 04/12/2024 13:26

Viviennemary · 04/12/2024 10:11

That was quite cheeky of her. I wouldnt go and write off the cost of the ticket and drop the friendship. I can't be doing with this selfish meanness in folk that are supposed to be friends.

But doesn’t she also work with this person? That would be akward then to break up the friendship.

Nina1013 · 04/12/2024 13:26

Neodymium · 04/12/2024 13:19

I’d say hers was a buy one get one free.

can the tickets be refunded? I’d ask her to refund and book the ticket yourself

It won’t be, my bank account gives me 6 free cinema tickets a year. Standalone, don’t need an additional purchase.

NetZeroZealot · 04/12/2024 13:29

Maybe she’s planning to buy the drinks & popcorn?

candlerhyme · 04/12/2024 13:35

I would think less of her.

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:37

Nina1013 · 04/12/2024 13:25

It’s a different kind of discount. He has unlimited 40% off - you giving it to her/me/anyone doesn’t mean you pay more for yours.

She has a defined and finite benefit of a single ticket, so she can go for free but wouldn’t be to subsidise you.

The comparison would be if the 40% had a value so by splitting it you both got a 20% discount.

So while it’s a nice to do, offering her the discount, it’s not actually meaning you get less discount yourself. Whereas she’s got a single free ticket which she wouldn’t benefit from if she gave you 50%…

Show quote history

That's just the technical noise though, what it comes down to as the realisation that your friend is tight and has landed you with a full price ticket for her own convenience i.e to buy two tickets seated next to each other. With friends like that who needs enemies!

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 13:39

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:37

That's just the technical noise though, what it comes down to as the realisation that your friend is tight and has landed you with a full price ticket for her own convenience i.e to buy two tickets seated next to each other. With friends like that who needs enemies!

Show quote history

It's not noise.

paddlinglikecrazy · 04/12/2024 13:40

I think I’d be more pissed off she offered to book & not share the cost when she knew if you booked yourself you could’ve used your own 40% off.
so it ended up costing you more that way.
not very kind.

Cakeandcardio · 04/12/2024 13:40

LittleRedRidingHoody · 04/12/2024 10:03

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. You both agreed to go, she was probably planning on using the free ticket all along, when you said your husband would book she decided to take the hit and pay more to subsidise you. When he didn't, she went back to her original plan.

I get maternity leave sucks and sharing the discount would have been nice of her, but it's not out of order. You were happy to pay full price to begin with.

Well her friend could have been upfront about this and only booked her own ticket? Why should the friend get a free ticket and the OP pays full price when the OP could have got a 40% reduction. Selfish!

Tink3rbell30 · 04/12/2024 13:42

You need to call her out or this thread is pointless.

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:43

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 13:39

It's not noise.

Show quote history

Yes it is as irrelevant to the situation which is the principle of the thing.

FamBae · 04/12/2024 13:43

I would have shared the free ticket, it's called being a friend.

Cakeandcardio · 04/12/2024 13:44

You can still pay for the ticket and call her out a bit. Something like:

Hey. I have sent the money now. Didn't realise it would mean me paying for a full price ticket. I should have booked through my husband as then I would have had 40% off.

I am a wimp when it comes to things like this. But there's too much of this stuff getting skimmed over because the selfish fuckers are confident enough to screw quieter people over!

ThisIsSockward · 04/12/2024 13:46

She's either selfish or not very bright. She knew you were planning or at least hoping to get a 40% discount on your ticket (not to mention sharing it so she would, too). If she didn't want to share the benefit of her free ticket so that you each paid only 50%, she could and should have made sure you were okay with paying full price before booking your ticket. And even then, it wouldn't have killed her to split the costs so that you each paid half price.

HellofromJohnCraven · 04/12/2024 13:47

Well just send her half! A breezy note to say that you will share your dh discount next time

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:47

ThisIsSockward · 04/12/2024 13:46

She's either selfish or not very bright. She knew you were planning or at least hoping to get a 40% discount on your ticket (not to mention sharing it so she would, too). If she didn't want to share the benefit of her free ticket so that you each paid only 50%, she could and should have made sure you were okay with paying full price before booking your ticket. And even then, it wouldn't have killed her to split the costs so that you each paid half price.

Yes, exactly this!

Nina1013 · 04/12/2024 13:47

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:37

That's just the technical noise though, what it comes down to as the realisation that your friend is tight and has landed you with a full price ticket for her own convenience i.e to buy two tickets seated next to each other. With friends like that who needs enemies!

Show quote history

I disagree. Friend was going to pay 60% of the cost for the privilege of sitting together, but OP didn’t bother to book the tickets.

Honestly, I split restaurant bills 50/50 irrespective of what I’ve had, as a couple we pay for far above and beyond our own share of anything with family etc as we have more money, we are really generous. But I truly wouldn’t even consider it unreasonable to pay for my own ticket with my ‘free ticket’ and expect that my friend would cover the cost of my own. As in, it wouldn’t even occur to me to do it any other way. And I say that as someone who probably on average covers 75% of overall costs of everything I do with friends or family, so I am definitely not tight. The voucher is ‘my ticket’ and the friend buys their ticket. That’s the way I would see it.

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 13:50

Goldenbear · 04/12/2024 13:43

Yes it is as irrelevant to the situation which is the principle of the thing.

Show quote history

It's relevant.

ClicketyClickPlusOne · 04/12/2024 13:52

You getting40% off for both of you involved no detriment to you- you would have got 40% off, so would she - as I understand it.

Her sharing her free ticket with you would be to her detriment (though a nice thing to do)

When she said she would book and use her free ticket you could still have said 'OK - but we can still get 40% off on the other ticket'- which would have benefitted either you or both whichever way she was choosing to use her freebie.

Put it down to you forgetting to check the 40%, you not thinking quickly enough when she phoned, and also her being a bit mean to use her freebie just for her.

Learn from all that.

Then, most of all, let it go. Look forward to the film, enjoy seeing your friend.

SJM1988 · 04/12/2024 13:52

Your friend is totally unreasonable here.

I am going to the cinema tonight with a friend. We used my meerkat movies to get one ticket free. I split the cost with her so we both got 50% off our ticket. I wouldnt dream of asking her to pay the full cost of 1 ticket while mine was free!

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