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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend not sharing discount?

216 replies

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 09:56

I admit this is a very first world problem, but it’s been bothering me a bit so just thought I’d ask what others think.

I recently came back from mat leave, DD starts nursery in a couple weeks and of course it’s Christmas so money for me is tight and has been for a while.

A friend and me decided we would go to the cinema next week, this is a rare treat for me and I haven’t been to the cinema in several years, it’s not the cheapest experience anymore so I was already planning on forgoing popcorn and drinks to keep the cost down. My friend is aware of my situation, we also work together so she knows about mat leave and how our company only offers statuary, and I’ve been lamenting to her about the cost of nursery fees and how the family is only doing gifts for the kids this year.

Anyway, we’ve settled on a date and time, it’s a popular film so we decided to book together (otherwise we may not get seats together) I suggested to her my husband books the tickets as he gets a 40% discount for friends and family through work, but I mentioned it had been years since he last booked so I will double check with him first if he still gets this discount, she agreed.

Next day rolls around and I forgot to ask husband (turns out yes he does still get the discount), but then friend said don’t worry about it as she’s got a free cinema ticket (from a reward scheme tied to her bank or something) so she’ll take care of booking the tickets. I thanked her and said she should ping me a request for the money and I’ll pay her back.

Well last night I got her text, there was a copy of both our tickets and a money request for one full price ticket for me to pay. I had assumed she was going to share the saving of her free ticket so we’d both pay half price, instead she kept the free ticket for herself and stuck me with paying full price, even though I told her my husband could get us both a good discount.

I haven’t said anything because I imagine she just didn’t think it through and there’s no point falling out over cinema tickets, but I’m still annoyed about it. Obviously I know I’m
not entitled to her free ticket, but she could have saved it for another time instead of denying me my husbands discount?

OP posts:
ihfa · 04/12/2024 12:26

Was it a voucher for a free ticket or was it a voucher for "buy one get one free". If it's the latter then she's really taking the piss.
If it's the former then it's more of a grey area. I would have shared with you and split 50:50 but I appreciate not everyone is like that.
I think she should have given you the chance to book your own ticket with the 40% off rather than just going ahead with the booking and you now having to pay for a full price ticket and I would say something to her.
Hey friend, I'm glad you were able to get a free ticket but I really would have appreciated the chance to then book my ticket with my husband's discount because money is a bit tight at the moment so the 40% discount would have been helpful, so if it does happen again just let me know and I can book separately.

Ravenbright · 04/12/2024 12:28

I'm with you on this, OP. It wouldn't occur to me to do what your friend did. Especially as money is tight for you and it's a rare outing.

I have a friend I regularly go to the theatre and cinema with, and if one of us gets a discount on one ticket we put the 2 together ( full price + discounted ticket) and split the cost. Isn't friendship about sharing?

I would be tempted to deliberately misunderstand and send half the money. Then say you assumed she sent the full price ticket so you could work out the 50%.

Lalalol · 04/12/2024 12:29

I’ve got a limitless card which I pay for every month. It amazes me that friends assume I’ll share this perk with them and only take half the price of their ticket if I book both. I’ve paid for this perk, same as your friend has inadvertently paid for hers via the bank account or whatever

you should have booked the tickets separately

caringcarer · 04/12/2024 12:30

I think you are unreasonable to get upset over a £10 cinema ticket. Especially as you told your friend you were not sure if your DH still got this perk or not then forgot to get DH to book it.

IDontHateRainbows · 04/12/2024 12:32

I'd probably split the cost of the free ticket so both parties paid half, but I don't think it's an obvious one and wouldn't be too offended if someone didn't do this. Is she usually a kind and generous person, if so I wouldn't give it another thought. If she has form for being stingy or mean it may grate on me as part of a pattern.

beAsensible1 · 04/12/2024 12:36

god what a miserly way to be.

sorry OP see if she can get the refund and you can use the 60% off. if i knew my mate was on limited funds the last I would do is split if I had a free ticket. But i'd probably just pay for them as i'm not a cow and can afford it. If i couldn't i would split it or invite someone i know can afford it or go on my own.

Cailleach1 · 04/12/2024 12:38

So, @Lalalol , I presume your free ticket is not a pay for one and get one free type. Fair enough if that is the case.

However, why did the op’s friend then go and deprive the op of their own discount by landing them with a full price ticket when they knew op could get one with 40% off. Op could just as easily have insisted, ‘I’ll pay’ and purchased two full price tickets. Or only hers at the 40% discount, thereby landing the other person with the bill for their ticket at full price.

fruitbrewhaha · 04/12/2024 12:38

Don’t argue over £4.

roses2 · 04/12/2024 12:39

I would text back asking why she booked for you full price when she knew you could get 40% discount. She needs to feel awkward for this, don't brush it under the carpet.

Dietingfool · 04/12/2024 12:41

roses2 · 04/12/2024 12:39

I would text back asking why she booked for you full price when she knew you could get 40% discount. She needs to feel awkward for this, don't brush it under the carpet.

Blimey, over 3 or 4 quid.

Cailleach1 · 04/12/2024 12:41

fruitbrewhaha · 04/12/2024 12:38

Don’t argue over £4.

Maybe it was a cheap enough lesson at the price. May save Op more in the long run as won’t presume the other person is not just out for themselves.

TwistedWonder · 04/12/2024 12:45

TooManyCupsAndMugs · 04/12/2024 10:05

I think that's a bit off. If I use my Meerkat meals discount when I'm out with a friend, I'd split the bill not say "oh my dinner was free, pay for yours!"

Agree. Whenever I’ve got BOGOF or discount vouchers and invite a friend, we split the bill. I don’t just tuck into a free meal and expect them to pay full price. Surely that’s normal practice?

sunshine244 · 04/12/2024 12:46

I'd see this whole situation differently.

You didn't do what you said you would and ask your oh about tickets so there was no certainly about discount. If you weren't even able to communicate with your husband the liklihood of you getting around to getting the discount code then booking the tickets with a short deadline seems remote. Let alone the back and forth discussion needed to endure you book seats next to each other at the same time.

It's a good sign of friendship that she wanted to go ahead and get the tickets booked to ensure the trip went ahead successfully.

I'd be grateful that she took the initiative.

I recently booked tickets for an event with a friend. I paid ticket price plus an unfairly large booking fee. My friend paid for her ticket but not half the free. She knows I'm far less well off than her but I think it was probably just not thinking and she's a really valuable friend so I wouldn't think of mentioning it.

MzHz · 04/12/2024 12:49

text her saying that you thought you would split the cost, but no probs, she can get the popcorn :D

maddening · 04/12/2024 12:52

If her free ticket was dependent on one full price ticket she should defo have split the cost

EdgeofSeventy · 04/12/2024 12:53

I think you're annoyed @KellyJellyfish because your choice was removed from you by your friend not telling you your ticket would be full price before she booked it.
I would be too I think. Especially when you could have got your own discount via your H.

In cinemas near me you can take your own snacks and drinks in.
Having watched a programme where it said the bag the popcorn goes in is more expensive to the establishment (less than a penny at that time) I haven't bought popcorn in a cinema since!!

Lalalol · 04/12/2024 12:58

Cailleach1 · 04/12/2024 12:38

So, @Lalalol , I presume your free ticket is not a pay for one and get one free type. Fair enough if that is the case.

However, why did the op’s friend then go and deprive the op of their own discount by landing them with a full price ticket when they knew op could get one with 40% off. Op could just as easily have insisted, ‘I’ll pay’ and purchased two full price tickets. Or only hers at the 40% discount, thereby landing the other person with the bill for their ticket at full price.

Feels to me that the friend probably didn’t overthink this. Op didn’t get back to her about the husband’s discount - I expect she assumed it didn’t materialise.

Mugcake · 04/12/2024 12:59

That's pretty selfish of her, I would assume you'd split the ticket cost! I have done this for and with friends before. I just thought that it goes without saying.

CautiousLurker1 · 04/12/2024 13:00

I agree - given she knew you could get a 40% discount if you booked yourself using your DH’s code, this is especially shitty. I suspect she had to buy a second ticket to get her free ticket too.

I am a mature student so can get student rate tickets at the cinema and theatre. Often this means I get a £40-60 theatre ticket for £10ish. When I buy tickets and invite a friend, I split the total cost in half so that she gets the ticket at almost half price. I don’t understand why your friend wouldn’t naturally do the same?

Btc76 · 04/12/2024 13:03

OP, With the time you've spent on here in a funk about the extra £4 or so it will cost you to see a film, you could have earned that doing a min wage job! Pls get real

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/12/2024 13:05

Yeah I am confused here...

I don't know of any bank account benefits that get you a free ticket.. only the ones that get you a free ticket if you buy a full price ticket.

So whilst it is her discount, without your full price ticket there would be no free ticket.

If this is the case she is a massive cheeky fucker as you could have got in for 40% but now you're subsidising her free ticket, and at full price!

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 04/12/2024 13:07

Why don't you speak to her?

CautiousLurker1 · 04/12/2024 13:08

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/12/2024 13:05

Yeah I am confused here...

I don't know of any bank account benefits that get you a free ticket.. only the ones that get you a free ticket if you buy a full price ticket.

So whilst it is her discount, without your full price ticket there would be no free ticket.

If this is the case she is a massive cheeky fucker as you could have got in for 40% but now you're subsidising her free ticket, and at full price!

Yes, this.

annonymousse · 04/12/2024 13:08

If it was a bogof offer she's used you to subsidise her. That's very mean even without knowing your circumstances. With one freebie it would have been nicer to share the discount. She's been very selfish.

Nolegusta · 04/12/2024 13:10

KellyJellyfish · 04/12/2024 10:43

A lot of faff over like a £1 difference for her.

We’ve both paid, I’m not going to do anything else at this point, I’m just going to make a mental note to book my own when seeing her in the future

Show quote history

But you hadn't booked or sorted out tje discount, so she went ahead. Not sure how its £1 difference if the tickets are £10 each. Now she pays nothing, with your option it was £6 each?

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